chanson

It's weird how such an active little community has formed around such an unpopular show. Or is that weird? Actually, now I'm not sure if that's weird or not because of how people like things that aren't popular and stuff and then cast them aside like an ugly baby when they get popular. I mean, I don't know exactly how unpopular Hollywood Handjobs is so this is just me speculating about the things I already know that I don't know.

Birthday Boys: 1.) Is birthdays is movies? 2.) My birthday is in November. 3.) Which one of you is least committed to this sketch troupe? 4.) How often do you randomly get your dick out to make people laugh?

Dogs is pugs that thinks they is people, too.

Me 2oo, Greggy! Especially when I'm trying to demonstrate my radical political beliefs inside the airport with explosives. I mean, really? Freedom of speech much? Fuck. Wake up sheeple!!!!!!

Dogs isn't people but some people is dogs. Also dogs is dogs that thinks they is people which is definitely problems and since some movies is about problems and dogs is dogs that thinks they is people and this is problems then this is also movies and dogs is movies too.

No, Hayes barks at everything even though it's just a fucking person opening a door three houses away and then shits on the carpet for no goddamn reason AND is hypoallergenic. Liked this so hard.

Sean: Beagle. Hayes: Labradoodle. Definitely Labradoodle.

This post is why I love you JoshBurd.

This dog: Its name is Dreidel. That's all you need to know.

Preach!

#WestCoastProblems

No, but it's now on my list. Also, sick name. Also, open question: why do people want to drink beers that are shitty and difficult to drink that have pinecone needles and chaw spit in them? Like, why is that a thing? Why does anyone want to drink something that punishes them for drinking it? That seems wrong to me. If your beer is hard to drink that means you suck at making beer.

Mirror Pond is good. However, I prefer Black Butte Porter, probably my favorite beer, and Deschutes can do no wrong in my eyes. But they're from Oregon and therefore not as good. Best IPA I've had is Black Raven's Trickster. It's damn near perfect. This has been another episode of beer talk with Chanson.

So I had this IPA tonight (Elysian Space Dust) that knocked me on my ass. Just so everyone knows that it's awesome. This concludes tonight's episode of craft beer reviews with Chanson. #DrinkWashingtonBeer

PS - Movies isn't football but football is movies. Everyone in the scoop troop will surely remember this.

I mean, if Tim (fuck you) and I were hanging out, you know I'd give you a call and ask you to come along because we're bros now. However, he might find you sexually threatening. You know, because strong, beautiful, empowered, funny women are a threat to the patriarchy or whatever. I don't know, it's a hypothesis. Also, when did it become a fight between Joe McGurl and Tim? I'm so confused.

PS - Hayes, I like your weird red beard. People who have red beards and hair that is not red are better than everyone else. Like unicorns but less uppity about how great they are and way more chill and down to earth. You know, like a unicorn you'd wanna hang out with. Like that.

Nikki Glaser, Couldn't you have given Hayes and Sean a bit more fucking notice before you came on their show so that they could let us know to ask you questions? How fucking inconsiderate are you? Jesus.

Engineer Cody wouldn't have ruined the show like Engineer Brett did. Engineer Brett isn't even movies. Jesus Christ! Amateur hour over here. FUCK!

Treese, Do you always look like you've just finished murdering someone to death in photographs? It's uncanny. Fuck you, Tim. Love, Chanson PS - Jealous of your improv class.

Dear Tim, Me saying "fuck you, Tim" is our thing. If I stopped doing it you would know we weren't friends anymore. Also, it's endearing and you really like it. Until then, fuck you, Tim.

Fuck you, Tim.

Durrrrrrrrrrr

Anastasia, speech impediment is not movies but funny talking is comedy and comedy is movies unless it's on tv because tv is small movies. YouTube is can be movies too. PS - Speech impediment is disabilities though. Disabilities is funny unless it isn't funny which is why it isn't movies because comedy is movies, not disabilities.

Can we also brutally murder a member of congress when he comes to visit us?