chanson

I mean, I like to think this forum is the exception to the rule that people on internet forums are depressing sad people who are, for the most part, waiting to die alone and be eaten by their cats. (They aren't necessarily waiting to be eaten by the cats, that's just the next thing that would inevitably happen.)

PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN.

ShowShowBro, I've been listening for the past few weeks. Not live because 8AM is early as fuck on a Saturday, but one of these days you can expect a call from me. Not making any promises, but I might even talk about Seattle if I'm in the right mood.

Previous post sponsored by the Washington State Council for Non-Prostitution-Related Sex Tourism & Dave Mathews Song Interpretation, an economic development and public health agency authorized by the Legislature of the State of Washington to promote fucking throughout the State of Washington and to conduct research and analyze where Dave Mathews is believed to have fucked to protect the public health of the people of the State of Washington.

Another thing, I'm not dignifying any more Seattle-themed Dave Mathews-related song titles with responses, so this post serves as a blanket response to all of them. Inconclusive, though unlikely. However, definitely not outside the realm of possibility. Also, usually they're about fucking. As to where the fucking takes place, it could be in Seattle or one of Washington's 280 other incorporated cities and towns. All of which are lovely and worth visiting and fucking in. Hence the lack of conclusiveness about the songs. It wouldn't be incomprehensible for Dave Mathews to be in Friday Harbor, on San Juan Island, fucking on a boat or in a bed and breakfast; or in the city of Forks, on the Olympic Peninsula visiting Twilight-related businesses; or in the small city of Zillah, fucking in one of Central Washington's many apple orchards; or visiting one of the many sororities at Washington State University, in the city of Pullman, where his songs can be heard well into the night over the cacophonous racket of many mindless "Cougs" fucking one another after drinking copious amounts of Rainier beer; or perhaps fucking in Bill Gates' house in the small, but extremely affluent, city of Medina on the shores of Lake Washington. It's a veritable orgy of choices when it comes to Washington's many incorporated cities and towns and one's ability or desire to fuck in them. The ambitious among you might even venture to attempt fucking in all 281 of them. If so, I salute you. As does our governor, Jay Inslee, for whom I did not vote, but I am certain shares my own love of Washington and its many cities and towns and their respective local governments and economic development agencies.

Yes? And? Cream cheese kinda goes well with everything though. Next you're gonna get mad at me because I'm Canadian and I like poutine. Racist.

Inconclusive. One can only pray that it isn't though.

No. Probably. Not unlikely. (respectively) ...Are we still mad that I'm a real person and not a construct of The Reality SHOW show? Is that what everyone's still mad about? For serious? I thought we had gotten over that. I mean, no one was more upset about that than myself, so I don't see why everyone else is still mad...

Jessica, 1.) Is news is comedy or is it serious? 2.) Is it more fun to murder out of necessity or for sport?

Although I am unsure where this is coming from, I can't, in good conscience, say it's a bad idea or particularly untrue. In fact, you're probably right to hate them and you're not wrong about Seattle or myself. But I'm still right about the gargoyles vs grotesques and people really need to get their shit together.

Are you gargoyles or grotesques? Do you plan on having water draining out through your mouth or are you just standing around looking pretty. If the former then you're a gargoyle. If the latter, then you're actually the grotesque boyz and you need to seriously buff up on your medieval European architectural elements. Also, fuck you, Tim. I feel like you must hear that a lot, both in your personal life and professionally.

TAKE THAT BACK YOU FUCKTARD! I URINATE IN PUBLIC FREQUENTLY! I'M A MOTHERFUCKING ICONOCLAST GODDAMNIT!

Johnny, 1.) You look like a child. What's that like? 2.) How hard is it to fucking get arrested? 3.) Why won't anyone arrest me? 4.) Why is everyone on this forum cooler than me? Fuck! 5.) IMDB says you love gardening. Is that a euphemism? Specifically for fucking. 6.) I have a job interview next week. Is it appropriate to show up naked? 7.) If I have to wear clothes, how often should I get my dick out?

How is it so easy to get arrested? That's what I want to know. And how come I'm not cool enough to have ever been arrested? I bet I couldn't get arrested if I tried... I'm just not arrestable (white? [political?]). They'd be like "awwwww, I'm gonna let you off with a warning because I can tell that you're a good dude." FUCK! I'm a bad guy. I do bad guy shit. I'm a fucking rebel! I jaywalk! ARREST ME GOD DAMNIT! On second thought, please don't. Jail seems dirty. And are those middle class people I see in there? Oh, I thought this would be fun, but maybe I was wrong. Father's disappointment with me would be soul-crushing and I'm sure his attorney would be more than happy to clear anything up, officer.

...so everyone on this forum is a criminal of some kind. Good to know. Also, Thelonious, I won't tell her, but I'll have her lifeguard Ken-doll boyfriend (who I love and respect very much, for the record) let her know. How's that sound?

I like the double post. Particularly the fact that the second post occurred three hours after the first one.

Joshrulz, you're walking a fine line between barely posting enough to be allowed to shamelessly promote your stuff - which happens to be pretty fucking sick by the way - and making me angry that you don't post enough thus forcing me to dislike your shamelessly promoted stuff - which happens to be pretty fucking sick by the way. So keep that in mind. Bitch. Also, anyone ever get arrested? I'll start by saying I haven't.

Drunk Monday Post: Veebs is the shit. Her sassiness is why I'm secretly attracted to her. I would imagine that has something to do with why her "not at all made up" and "totally real" boyfriend is too ... Fuck. Happy birthday to my cousin Allison, who is now 18. Fuck you, piece of shit men. Also happy birthday Hayes. Fuck you, Sean. Also I have a sleeve of saltine crackers, a bag of tortilla chips, and a bottle of cheap vodka surrounding me right now. Guys, it's a good night.

You guys, I like this Emptyextinguisher guy. He's from Washington. He's a botanist (from what I can tell). He liked one of my comments. He's trying to poison Tim Treese. All things I like.

Creeper. ...also true.

BBQ Pringles, guys. Bomb.

Veebs is right. They tell you that in school here. Because we're so outdoorsy. Also, they tell you that if you die from eating a poison berry you fail environmental science and should not ask the teacher for a good letter of rec when college apps come along. So keep that in mind.

You guys, I'm gonna go watch airplanes do tricks in the sky whilst simultaneously watching hydroplanes race. Suck it, nerds.

no.

"Hey! Hey! Stop fucking with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for your problems. He busy. With Korean shit." Bible study, guys. Bible study.