chanson

I drove to Canada once, just to go. I thought about walking around Vancouver and doing some photography shit but then I realized it was almost exactly like Seattle just with more yoga-pants. It also has a hellish dystopian future city vibe that makes me uncomfortable and anxious. They didn't believe me at the border when I tried to come home (maybe they didn't know what dystopian meant?) and immediately assumed that I was transporting drugs.

Weird vibes this week, bros. Weird vibes.

Still haven't listened to the episode yet. Might just not. I don't know. Depends on how good our forum game is this week. Also, who actually listens to the podcast? Sometimes I forget that there is one. I think Hayes and Sean do too. Political.

...It's weird because the party I went to last night did have voting in multiple categories. It was about food. But still, disconcerting.

Callback.

PS - Tim's comment reminded me that I'm gonna try and get someone pregnant tomorrow night. Still don't know who yet. Ladies?

Going to a double kegger tomorrow. Be jealous. I'm also bringing my little step-brother. Is that weird? Oh well. I'm gonna drink like it's the end of the world. Duces.

Everyone knows that D stands for dad. Get your mind out of the gutter. And I bet you thought I meant vagina when I said pussy too. Sicko. Here I am lamenting the utter lack of kitty cats and dads on this godless forum and all you guys can think about is putting your tiny little pinky sized dingusses into nasty old vaginas. For shame.

So... Fuck everyone who talked about the show this week. Everyone knows we come on this forum to not talk about Hollywood Handbook. WHAT IS THIS? FUCKING AMATEUR HOUR? I haven't seen a pic of even one person's Pussy or D. That's a real shame. You guys are what's wrong with America. PS - I bet you've all been sober while posting, too.

Not inspired to post this week. Don't know why. Sad face.

Congrats to Sean on his recent engagement to Hayes Davenport! Proud of you guys! ...I just skim my Facebook feed so I may have some of the details a little bit wrong. Probably not though. I doubt Sean would cheat on Hayes and then publicly humiliate him on social media by getting engaged to someone else.

I don't remember... I probably would have if I had checked earlier in the day. I guess that means I'm not posting enough.

I had a dream last night that the episode that got released next week wasn't Sinbad. It was scary.

Engineer Cody really needs to decide on a name and fucking stick with it. This bullshit has gone on far too long.

God damn it Josh, now I like you even more. I was trying not to be gushy this week.

PS - shout out to Professor and The Coyote

Agreed. It's also curious that a mythical sailor man would join the Air Force. Kind of outside his wheelhouse. Unless he was a sailor man in the way that a group of space ships is called a navy and he was just ahead of his time. Guys, I have too much time on my hands.

Just because I have friends in the Air Force and I live near an Air Force base, some Air Force people would find the semper fi part offensive. So would some Marines. Not to get too PC here or to be the guy who busts people's balls, but the inter-service rivalries in the US military are kind of ridiculous. Also, some people get way upset about it. I don't know why either. ...I only know because I made a joke once and it didn't go over well. Just FYI.

Sinbad, 1.) You were in Good Burger. Fact. 2.) What was it like working with Kenan and Kel? 3.) Does Kel really like orange soda as much as he says he does? 4.) Is that previous question racist? 5.) Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order? 6.) How do you top being in a film as important to western civilization as Good Burger? 7.) What's it like being a mythical sailor? 8.) What's the coolest place you've been in your adventures as a mythical sailor? 9.) Why were the '90s so fucking weird? 10.) Did you have anything to do with the Atlanta Olympics? That's about the right era right? I remember very little before that. 11.) Do you make your own bread? 12.) What was the best handjob you've received? Explain. 13.) Bummed this podcast isn't hosted by luminary actor and gay icon, Sean Hayes? Me too. 14.) Do you wanna build a snowman?

James, I especially liked the part where you fucked the desk chair. And the part where you were fucking the desk chair. Also, the part where you fuck the desk chair was nice, too. The funny part is that I'm actually describing three different parts but they all have the same basic elements. Thus, comedy.

I also think it would be interesting if we, as in ourselves, were actually the illuminati. Just some randos from flyover states. We could come together and pitch ideas about what should happen next in Hollywood. Like who should have a nip-slip. Who should become Vine famous. Who should become a drug addict. We could come up with ways in which we would execute our plans. It would be fun and also highlight the arbitrary nature of Hollywood fame. (I am from Seattle, there has to be some kind of social message)

We told you that you were good. I don't know about the rest of these ass-kissers but I don't give undeserved compliments. In fact, people often note that my lack of positive reinforcement comes in harsh contrast to my overwhelmingly positive and cheerful demeanor.

Boxes are scary. Pun intended.

Nerds is cool now. My best friend, who, as I have previously mentioned, is a dick, has a girlfriend and he's is good at computers also as well. And I don't have a girlfriend and I am not good at computers. So that's an interesting fact. PS - Sorry Veebs, he doesn't know Unity, otherwise I would recommend him to you. Everyone else I know with programming skills is too obsessed with their various but all equally unfulfilling careers to be worth asking.

I think it would be interesting to do a podcast as the Hollywood Handbook Illuminati where we come together and decide what's gonna happen next in showbiz and Hollywood.