chanson

What the fuck is happening on this forum these days? I go on a boat for a month and I come back to this craziness... I don't know, you guys. When I get back to Seattle, lovely Seattle, things are gonna get real. Very real. Shit. Internet is 75 cents a minute. Fuck. Bye.

Is a slot machine that pays out often called a slut machine?

LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! LIKE!

Are ironic emoticons ironicons? Follow up: are Iranian emoticons Iranicons?

Boeing 777-200LR Like that's even a question anyone needs to ask... Guys, don't get me started on airplanes. The Boeing 787-8 is also an acceptable (albeit terribly executed and horribly mismanaged [much like Boeing itself]) answer.

Zach Gilford, 1.) Is Kathy Lee Gifford your mother? I get that the names are different, but the question stands. 2.) Do you like Hoda Kotb? She's great, right? 3.) You were in Friday Night Lights, so do you really know how to play soccer or did you have to learn for the show? I assume it's about soccer, I've never seen it. 4.) What was it like being in Bridge on the River Kwai, widely regarded as one of the greatest films of all time? Do you think you'll ever have the opportunity to be in another film that's equally great; like a Medea movie or something? 5.) Google says you're 5'8". You seem taller. Just saying. 6.) When you're in the funny zone, does that also get you in the boner zone or are they mutually exclusive? 7.) What was it like interviewing Obama considering you're a devoted member of the Tea Party?

Agata; so hot right now. Agata.

Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting style: It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

Frankly, I'm not very cool or funny (but not in the way that being uncool and unfunny is both cool and funny). In fact, I'm really not a very nice person to be around and many people say on a daily basis how their lives would be measurably better if I was to die in a freak accident. Or was murdered. So you aren't alone. Also, your video guilt trip made me feel some sort of compassion for you; but I have also been told my capacity for empathy is similar to that of a seagull. So take that how you will. I also drown baby otters as a hobby. ...I need to stop caring what other people think of the fake things I say about myself.

Audible - based in Seattle. Just saying. Also thanks for shouting out the fact that Nick Thune and I go way back. And by way back I mean that he was at the same place I was for several days out of the week for an entire year with little interaction between us. Mainly because I was afraid of him. But just enough interaction for me to be aware of his existence. Just to clarify.

July Diaz conspiracy bait.

Does anyone else think about telling other people about this podcast but then realize that they're way way too in to the forums and would be embarrassed if anyone ever found that out, so they just keep it to themselves? No, me neither.

0101

Agata, I'm a pseudo-celebrity, so that kinda counts. I have been mentioned in several episodes of both the Reality SHOW show (may she forever rest in peace) and our beloved Hollywood Handjobs. Also, my Facebook says I'm a celebrity in Eastern Washington. Which is true. So there's that. I'm kind of a big deal around here. In case you couldn't tell. I'm also known for my humility.

Although you think you've outsmarted me (and don't pretend like you don't) did you consider that I was already aware that all time was before midnight? Also, did you consider that all time is also after midnight and that you're equally as wrong as you are right? ...And did you consider that I knew you would be shitty about it and call me out so that I could be shittier and call you out? No? Good. Because I didn't know that. But being shitty is my thing. Let me just say this, July Diaz. I am on to you and your plot to hoard all of the likes for yourself and I'm not having any of it. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But someday there will be freedom on this forum and your tyranny will be over and I would like you to consider how it will feel when you're down here with the little people and how much good all of those likes are going to do you then. Okay? Okay. Fair enough. PS - Agata, we know you're baiting us for compliments (not in that way, you sickos). The problem is that you're too pretty to not know the answer to the question you're asking. It's unconvincing and patronizing in all of the ways that make guys all tingly inside (not there, you sickos). So STOP MANIPULATING US! MEN ARE PEOPLE TOOO! NOT JUST MEAT!

Conspiracy theory alert: July Diaz likes any post that occurs before midnight.

You should get Sean Connery or Catherine Zeta Jones or Tom Jones or Bruce Springsteen. They're Cornish. Oh no, that's Scottish, Welsh, extremely tan, and New Jersey, respectively. Shit. Stupid American here. Are Cornettos Cornish? You could get them to support independence. And obesity. Oh no, the Scots already claimed that. Fuck. I think you need a TV show to expose Cornwall to the rest of Britain and make them hate it. I propose The Only Way is Cornwall.

Zouks!

Not to get too angry about this but defending and generally publicizing the wonders of Seattle and the State of Washington is kinda my job in this here forum. So yeah... This is awkward.

Are you actually Scouse or Welsh or a Geordie and just hiding behind the assumption that Americans can't tell the difference between regional British accents and the posh upper class accents that actually denote status? If so, you aren't wrong to do so. I'm just curious.

Seattle isn't perfect. It never will be. It doesn't want to be. It has become sentient. It is displeased by your comments. PS - If you have beef please take it to the Washington State Beef Commission. http://www.wabeef.org/ PPS - We do have a lot of bullshit charlatans here though. They can move back to San Francisco whenever they want. Sooner would be better in my humblest of opinions. PPPS - Props to the Octer. Is there a Doctopus in the house?

Anybody ever realize that they used to like TED Talks but now they don't because it's annoying listening to sanctimonious idealists preach about how things could be if only we lived in an ideal world and realized that's actually rather pointless and if they really had the answers they'd be doing the things they were talking about instead of talking about them? Me neither.

Gruyere is sooooo good! Especially when it's been aged in a cave. I don't know why, but it's great.

So, if it's a murder of crows, a business of ferrets, an ostentation of peacocks, and a recession of economists, what would the collective noun for Joshes be? PS - rash of dermatologists convocation of eagles parliament of owls pandemonium of parrots prickle of porcupines stubbornness of rhinoceroses bloat of hippopotami fixie of hipsters lounge of lizards pontification of priests

Veebs, now you understand the injustice that has been thrust [he he] upon me and all of us enthusiastic lovers of online forums. Earwolf hates freedom! Earwolf orchestrated 9-11! Also, for anyone in the officialdom of Earwolf, do Hayes and Sean get extra brownie points for having the best forum? Also, when I say best, I understand that is a subjective term, so to put some numbers behind my assertion I will define best as the highest average ratio of replies per topic. PS - Please don't misconstrue my question as any kind of support for Sean or Hayes. Especially not Hayes. I am merely curious; not implying that I believe they should be rewarded in any way.