chanson

You forgot to mention the slow clap by the rest of the class at the end.

Great mention of Seattle in 1993 at 44:12. DC Pierson knows a thing or two about 5 star iTunes reviews. You guys could learn a thing or two. Just saying. Love You, Bye.

It's okay to treat yourself. Just don't pepper spray guys driving Subarus. They'll call the cops. Allegedly? Allegedly.

I don't think HugLife is British.

David Mitchell Jack Whitehall Jeremy Clarkson Jimmy Carr Jon Richardson I don't think they're famous enough though...

So... I almost got arrested tonight. Not bragging or anything, but I may have sprayed pepper spray out of my window and then convinced the guy I was spraying it at that it was hand sanitizer... allegedly. #fuckthepolice

PS - lots of love for the state of Idaho. From the neo-nazis up at Priest Lake to the jet-boat manufacturers in Lewiston on to the large basque community in Boise and in to the heavily Mormon southeast of the state, Idaho is a solid cushion for Washington and Oregon's pushin'. I mean, besides my affinity for Sun Valley I actually categorically prefer Montana but, you know, Idaho's pretty alright. PPS - new slogan for Idaho: "Not as good as Montana, but more white-supremacists and Schwarzeneggers"

Actually, they do this thing where they build a ski resort on an actual mountain in a northerly lattitude, away from the coast so that during the winter the clouds make snow instead of rain because it gets cold there... Really fascinating stuff. Cutting-edge science shit. I think that's why Arnold Schwarzenegger and some other famouses live there, because of the science and how cutting-edge it is. Official motto of Sun Valley Resort: "Dubai ain't got shit on this bitch."

Sun Valley.... Noted ski resort and playground of the rich and fabulous? I don't know why would anyone go to such a place?

My mom took me out of school to see Nelson Mandela speak at Benaroya Hall when I was nine. That was pretty cool. But he wasn't sitting near me on an airplane, especially not on a Southwest airlines flight. Dale Chihuly was in front of me on a flight from Seattle to Sun Valley, Idaho though... It's hard to be anonymous when you wear an eye patch and have melted glass on your shoes.

...I think you know where this is going. Also, they build jets in Seattle, so you wouldn't have to stay here forever thus invalidating the question.

so judgmental.

I was implying that I was the first one that mattered. I mentioned I'm a mean bitch. Now you know. ...also, I'm not sure being delusional is the same as lying.

Let me be the first to welcome our new mod(ess?), Sant'Agata Bolognese (I assume that's what "agata" is a reference to, because I also assume you drive a Lamborghini. [i promise this makes sense if you know about cars, specifically Lamborghinis and where they are built.]) Just so you know, I'm pretty much the resident rabble-rouser here at Hollywood Handjobs and you'll need to watch me like a (sea)hawk because I'm a mean bitch. Everything else you need to know is in this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP2XtYbIgD0 You're welcome. PS - I hold you personally responsible for the fact that I have already run out of 'likes' for the day. Strike one.

Uninspired. 1 star.

It does, just not at your midnight. Time zones, bro. Time zones. PS - Really digging the punny questions for the Zouks.

Jason, Is everything Greek to you? How many big fat weddings have you attended? What's your annual Windex budget? Is lamb vegetarian? Do you think children should be permanently banned from the Fort Steilacoom Dog Park in Lakewood, Washington? Specifically if they are distracting someone from coming up with questions to ask someone on a mid to low-range podcast? [On the Max Fun Network, I don't give a shit about the questions I ask for this podcast.] Not having a Twitter. That's a thing you do. Talk about that. PS - Last year (two years ago?) I saw you eating in the Center House Armory at Seattle Center with Paul Scheer during Bumbershoot. It really inspired me to eat there more often. Thanks for that. PPS - No I haven't eaten there since then. But I'm inspired to think about doing so in the future. You know how that stuff works.

Been liking this song for a while now. #SincerityBomb

I mean, you could pull him aside before the game and politely explain to him that your face is your moneymaker and that you don't go to the gas station where he works and spray gasoline around and then light it on fire so you would kindly appreciate it if he wouldn't spray gasoline in your face and light it on fire as well. Or however that metaphor was supposed to end. PS - I think you significantly overestimate my influence over both this forum and this podcast. Although flattering, I am too much of a pedant to allow you to continue to operate on this flawed assumption. Also, flattery doesn't work on me. Except when it does.

You guys go on this forum because of the soul crushing loneliness of your real lives right? Cool. At least we don't podcast right? I mean what kind of unstable narcissistic sociopaths would do something like that?

I mean, usually not Californians. Just because I say mean things about them a lot. And when they ask if I'm serious, I enjoy saying that I am very serious and then that usually crushes their weird smug self-righteous question-asking shit (I get it, you have talented shit). But I always say it's not personal. It is, but that seems to help. Thanks for asking. I really enjoyed this constructive, not at all passive aggressive dialogue between us.

Usually I try to make the first 100 posts in a topic myself but I'm a little off my game this week.

I tried to get the Greater Seattle Chamber of Commerce to sponsor the podcast but after I was banned at the last general meeting for suggesting that we invade Oregon and change their speed limits up to 60 instead of the 55 they brazenly insist upon in the godless backward third world hell hole they call a state it's not entirely surprising that they won't return my calls. What a bunch of pussy fruitcakes.

I read this to my friends at the bar last night after it cracked my whole shit up. It cracked their whole shit up and they don't even know about Hollywood Handjobs.

Jon, 1.) I cannot help but notice that you are not from Seattle. Commiserations. How is that for you? Do you think that's why Joel McHale is so successful? 2.) You were on MTV's Money From Strangers. What's Jeff Dye like? Does he crack your whole shit up? Or just most of your shit? 3.) Do you think it's insensitive to ask someone if they are "down" with something because they might think that you're asking whether or not they have Down Syndrome, which is a private and personal matter? 4.) Do you have a dog? a.) If so, what's its name? What's your favorite thing that it does? I bet it's both cute and really hilarious. b.) If not, fuck off. 5.) How do you get girls to like you? a.)Do you think Sean and Hayes will ask the previous question in a way that makes it seem like I'm inferring that you, a noted poonhound, have a hard time finding interested ladies? Octer[iLLUMINATI]Doctopus ILLUMINATI Coincidence?