chanson

Why do women always pick fights with other women? Can't they just accept the fact that they're both pretty and that men would like it a lot more if they spent that energy on a threeway? These are the intellectual thoughts I've been having today. I already know I'm a terrible person, thanks for your concern.

My mom went to high school with her dad and she went to college at the same school as me... So there's that. Those Italians and their justice system love some character assassination and apparently a hunch from a prosecutor is enough to lock someone in prison... And I thought our justice system was fucked (Actually, our police are fucked, our courts are quite good). Not that I had high expectations of the Italian government because let's face it, their government is about as trustworthy as The National Enquirer... And that's on a good day. ...I believe Bill Nye's primary residence is in the Seattle area although I'm sure he spends significant amounts of time elsewhere teaching and presenting TV shows and whatnot. He was on Almost Live with Joel McHale back in the day. Oh Seattle, so many good things happen here. Also Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, both from Seattle. Also Jeff Dye. Just saying. Actually, that's someone I'd like to see on Hollywood Handjobs; Jeff Dye. Another thing, I like that people in Seattle support our native sons and daughters even when they leave home. Not that we don't wish they could still live here and stuff, but it's still so cool to see people from here doing well. About Adam Carolla, I'm sure he has his niche. I know he's popular with car people, which is a group I certainly do not belong to but can probably safely place myself near the outermost fringes of. I don't think it's the same as the Larry the Cable Guy demo though.

Yeah, I hear he's roommates with Macklemore, Rick Steves, Luke Burbank, Bill Nye, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Eddie Vedder, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and Detlef Schrempf. You know, that part of town.

Dan Savage, Seattle resident. Used to live on the same island as my family... He moved because he felt like his kids wouldn't be accepted because they have two dads... Which is bullshit because Vashon Island is known as the hippiest motherfucking island ever. Imagine weed-growing flower-child ass shit. I think he misjudged the dislike of outsiders moving to the island and drastically increasing the cost of living as being intollerant of his lifestyle... I imagine it's like when someone thinks another person is racist when the first person is actually just being an asshole and that's why the second person doesn't like them... Savage Love is still great though, just Dan Savage needs to not besmirch the reputation of my island by insinuating that its residents are bigots. They're conceited, judgmental, and often up their own asses, but not bigots... PS - I was sooooo pissed that there wasn't a new episode of The Real World. I watched Fantasy Factory though, so it was all good. PPS - HugLife, are maracas melodious? They seem more percussive. I've been wondering this for a while now.

Nothing says love like the memory of a saint who was clubbed to death for refusing to renounce his faith after attempting to convert the Roman emperor Claudius.

When did Woody Allen molest Rob Dyrdek? Maybe also why?

God damn you and your postmodern moral relativism. JUDGE ME DAMNIT! I'm not sure what's wrong about it. It may be my elitist and somewhat bigoted opinion that anything like a convention is gauche and ought to be ridiculed. It may also be the contempt I have for people who get to enjoy themselves in large groups. I don't know.

...If it was in Seattle, yes. I don't see why it would be, but yeah. Otherwise the getting there would be an issue. I guess Bumbershoot is kinda like an Earwolf convention because some of the podcasts come and do live shows, which is pretty great. PodCon... I don't know. I know it would be cool, but I still hate the idea with every ounce of my being. Is that wrong?

Yeah, you're probably right. I mean, they wouldn't talk about it so much to people who have no way of knowing if it wasn't totally true right? Like Valerie Bryant's totally not made up, totally real boyfriend. Who is definitely real and not fake. I think I understand now.

PS - I've noticed some comments and some stuff you guys have said and it has led me to really think about why you guys do this podcast in the first place. I'm gonna try to put this as delicately as possible... You guys have small dicks, huh?

I hate that Chanson guy. What's with Sean and Hayes always using his fucking questions? Am I right guys?

Because of the snow? Coincidentally with the snow? Irrelevant of snow? Does snow lead to alcoholism? America wants answers. Is this your way of saying you're dating Seal? Something about the Super Bowl.

Hey Guys, Remember the Real World? That's getting good again. ...Just Saying. Also, it's snowing here and I've been drinking. I don't know if there's a correlation, but they did happen concurrently. (it doesn't usually snow here, so that's a big fucking deal) I didn't write anything in the snow this time though... Sorry. Love you guys.

Here's another victory video for all you sports heads: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P9IwD6A89g Notice the guy without a shirt on: It was below freezing. Also notable: over 700,000 people showed up for the parade. The city has a population of around 650,000. Another thing: not a single arrest during the parade. Fantastic. It's good to know that just because we did a sports thing (official terminology?) doesn't mean we need to burn down our city. (I'm looking across the border at you Vancouver.)

Adam Devine: I want to ask something mean about SimCity, because you were in the commercials, but I don't think you're responsible for the shitty rollout. Also, I'm glad you got EA's money instead of someone else. So all in all, great job on that. Plus, you were pretty great in the commercials. Seattle Super Bowl victory: greatest moment of your life or all time? Fuck Marry Kill: Sean, Hayes, Engineer Brett/Sam Have you ever worked with Lamorne Morris? Does it hurt your feelings that you're the dumb one on Work of Holics? Or did you not know that they were portraying you in such a negative light? How famous do you have to be in order to get to meet Oprah?

It's cool. I was fake offended. You know, for comedy or whatever. A lot of my friends are currently in med school, so I'm pretty desensitized to that stuff by now. Which one did you circle? Stybjorn sounds like a total homie. I would totally bro-down with him, maybe get some pointers in how to seduce women... I bet he's got some moves these days. Ashley seems to have an identity crisis. Is she from West Virginia or is she from San Francisco? San Francisco cannot be your city if you have a southern accent. I'm sorry, but she'd be hunted down and killed by roving bands of militant lesbians (and not the good kind) if they knew she was living in their city. Fortunately for her, they don't believe in watching TV because it's a tool used by the patriarchy to keep us all dumb and unthreatening. This patriarchy seems really great if they keep giving us shows like The Real World. I thought Thomas was my favorite but as time has gone on, I think he's got the emotional intelligence of a 12 year-old. Jamie seemed cool too, but she's just a possessive insecure control freak too. Albeit a really chill one who I would want to be friends with. So now captain DJ is my favorite, because he seems like a real homie, but he needs to figure his shit out. In the most recent episode the exes arrived. It was cuh-razzzzy.

Are you referring to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eso9ibVJu2I ...apparently 25,000 kids were absent from Seattle Public Schools on Wednesday. Pretty Great! Sea Hawks!

I don't really know why I did this either. ...If I ever run for congress, this could be problematic and easily misconstrued.

Burdrulz, I think I've stepped away from the precipice I was standing on earlier. After some thought I've come to realize that it's good to get more people with different perspectives into entrepreneurship. I suppose my goal is to figure out how to use this new group of would-be entrepreneurs to my advantage. I think my natural tendency is to resist change but I don't think that's very productive or forward-thinking. The challenge is to figure out ways of incorporating the newcomers into the fold so that new and old voices get heard and can actually dialogue with one another in a meaningful way. Thus harnessing the good from both groups while helping them learn from one another. I think my resistance to the cultural shift in entrepreneurship was misguided. Also, in general, I think a well-constructed well-supported brand with good products is a great thing. Perhaps rare, but when executed well, quite good. You might like this: https://www.facebook...poratebollocks.

I was watching Work of Holics today and I realized that I already have the Costco lifestyle. How I hear you ask? Well, I went to high school in Kirkland, namesake of the Kirkland signature brand, and lemme tell you something, when you live the Costco lifestyle, it's head to toe license plates with your name on them and bulk containers of Goldfish.

So I went to a tech/software/entrepreneur meetup last night. It was the usual free beer, free food, lots of nerds, some millionaires with money to invest, etc. I realized that entrepreneurship has become cool, at least here and in places like Silicon Valley, Boston, New York, probably LA, I imagine it's much the same. However, I can't help but wonder whether this is a good thing or if this is just going to make it more difficult for the really devoted entrepreneurs to get noticed. Perhaps this worry is misplaced. Hipsterpreneurship. Can anyone speak on this please?

Nick Thune: You worked at the Boys & Girls Club at Emily Dickinson Elementary School. I came there from Einstein Elementary almost every day in sixth grade. I remember you. Honestly, I thought you had a goofy face and I was a little afraid of you. I don't know what my deal was either... But I'm super excited that you've done pretty well in Hollywood. What's up? Do you stay in touch with Pinkie? She was so cool! (PLEASE PLEASE ASK THIS, TRUE STORY) Also, Seahawks victory; fucking amazing or fucking epic? Do you miss Seattle? Did you and Joel McHale watch the Super Bowl together? That's a world I want to live in.

Everyone, feel free to add me on Facebook. Seriously. I already promised you beer, so Facebook makes sense on some level. You're Welcome.

Yeah, you know, I think we really needed this. Seattle, being a city largely consisting of transplants from elsewhere can have a bit of a cold, impersonal feeling, especially during the damp, dark winter months. The summer is exactly the opposite, but everyone gets so absorbed in their own lives that the community can suffer a bit at this time of year. Seattle is also a city of huge divisions. Urban/rural. Aerospace Engineer/Software Developer. Starbucks/Local Coffee Shop. Rich/Upper Middle Class. etc. However, when the Seahawks started getting closer and closer to the Super Bowl, especially after the win against the 49ers, the city just kind of came alive and also came together as a big family in a way that I've never seen before. It was like everyone was 10 years old on Christmas morning. It's really cool when everyone is on the same page for once and I think the win has done a lot for our image across the country as well. Hopefully that translates into something tangible and builds momentum for local businesses and whomever else can use that little Super Bowl bump to propel them to the next level of whatever they're doing. Also, is it wrong that I was a little upset that it wasn't a shutout? PS - I know I'm a huge sports head and all, but wasn't Denver supposed to be good?

I felt like if I didn't use some sort of official ID that it would have come up again... Because you people are so goddamn untrusting and the name issue keeps fucking coming up, so now it's settled and my identity may or may not have been stolen. Either way, I don't use that passport card anyway. I use the booklet which is passport number... Hey, wait a minute.