chanson

Even though I don't really understand what any of this means, I agree just because Pumpkin Spice Lattes were mentioned.

I also make these comments on this forum. ...just in case there was any doubt about whether or not I did. Also, HayeSean, I know you guys have to pretend that other reality shows matter and that you like them but I think we all know that The Challenge is the real meat and potatoes of The Reality SHOW Show and I would love to hear some snarky comments about it. Please! XOXO Gossip Girl

I agree with the FCC's conclusions despite not understanding what is being discussed.

Soooo, why aren't we all talking about The Challenge?... That's what I want to know. Also, my gym started showing Bravo on the tv that used to show CNN, which is fine, I guess, except that now I have to spend my daily hour on the treadmill watching Bravo... Thanks LA Fitness! Thank God there aren't any tvs facing toward the weights or else that would be two hours a day watching Bravo. Fact: the subtitles to Tamra's OC Wedding do not make anyone appear more intelligent, interesting, or less vapid... Some things just were not meant to be put into writing. The sad part is that I already felt like I was being cruelly and unusually punished by being forced to watch CNN like some sort of plebeian. I asked if they could show the BBC or just pipe in NPR over the loudspeakers and they looked at me as though I was some kind of coastal elite... Then they began to show Bravo. Bastards! Does anyone know how to talk to blue-collar working class types (I live near a military base), like the kind of people who would work at a national big-box chain of gyms? Would they accept public radio tote bags as a sort of currency or do I just have to prove my dominance by grunting extra loud while doing squats? Please Help!

Hey guys, I just want to take full accountability for my use of performance enhancing substances. Every morning I drink a cup of bull semen but I didn't know that bull semen was enhancing my performance nor did I make it, so I don't understand why I'm getting so much shit for it. Honestly, if the bull wants to take performance enhancing drugs and that gets in its semen, that's on him, not me. Also, I would appreciate it if Engineer Brett would stop fucking up so much. He's really ruining the show for me and The Reality SHOW Show is all I have to live for in this world. Love You, Bye. PS-You guys are really starting to test my patience with this name bullshit. It's like you guys don't even care... My name is pronounced like chan-sen, or you could use the French pronunciation, but that makes me sound like an asshole, which I don't ever sound like otherwise. Also, I know you guys are still mad about the French not supporting President Bush in the Iraq war, so I get why you guys wouldn't want to use that pronunciation. I would take full accountability for my name but I didn't pick it, so next time someone is giving me a name I'll try to suggest something easier for you guys to pronounce, but if my name is enhancing my performance, it's really not my fault. PPS-I normally don't give two shits about dancing shows but since my hero and Seattle-native, Bill Nye is on Dancing With The Stars, I'll probably watch it. PPPS-I wish this thread would feature a frank, borderline-disrespectful, but easily misconstruable as offensive discussion of race, please. The awkwardness sexually arouses me.

Authenticity is so postmodern.

Dear Sean & Hayes, I didn't understand anything that happened on this week's episode. Like... there were words and they were in English but they just didn't mean anything... Maybe you guys could come back down from your international jet-set high horses and realize that there are upper-middle class coastal elites like myself who would really like to join in on the conversation but can't because we aren't Hollywood insiders... I'm not saying dumb it down for the flyovers or anything, screw those losers, but we coastal elites really have it pretty rough. I guess what I'm saying is don't forget us little people here in our exclusive coastal upper-middle class liberal communities while you're flying in your private jets to your houses in Gstaad and Palm Beach. There are people flying business class and staying in five-star hotels with the rest of the unwashed masses who would kill to have your kind of lifestyle... Maybe you guys could do more to explain what life is like being international jet-setters and let us know what we can do to get to that level. I mean, I know it's hard to relate to people as human beings when you're just so far ahead of them in every conceivable way, but if you could try, we would love that. Thanks, Chanson Hoole Kinney Seattle, Washington PS-also if you guys could have some sort of public radio tie-in or maybe promote a locally-sourced locally-produced locally-marketed fair-trade hand-crafted item that harkens back to our childhood without being totally childish and corporatized we would probably love that as well.

You know, I totally understand. I think it's probably okay though, I'm sure they'll be able to get parts on the Walking Dead for some time and maybe something will come up on True Blood for them as well. It seems like being dead is actually quite a good career move in Hollywood right now. It's just that it isn't the same when you don't get controversial... This forum just lacks that certain je ne sais quoi when you don't throw a spanner of controversy into the metaphorical works. Also, with Jerkface conspicuously absent we all have to pull a little more weight than usual... Recently, I too have spent some of time thinking about my place in these forums and just what my role should be here. I've come to realize that we're really just lucky that Sean and Hayes even allow us to listen to their podcast at this point with all the bad bad things we've done and all. It's so nice of them not to have punished us for our transgressions. Maybe some day we'll stop screwing up so badly... I, for one, just want to personally say how sorry I am to Sean and Hayes for all of the bad things that I've done on these forums, for all of the revolts and uprisings against them that I have attempted to start, and for having impure thoughts involving both of them and a draculer. I now know how wrong all of those things were and I am truly sorry.

PPPS-I'm beginning to think that Cara Maria might be a REAL nerd girl. I also have suspicions that CT may be a centaur.

PPS-Also, on The Challenge this week no one took their meds. IT. WAS. AMAZING!!!!!! Camilla [literally] claims that Johnny crucified her. The episode title is "Thrilla in Camilla," which sounds somewhat dirty.

PS-Riddle me why Valerie Bryant hasn't gotten controversial on this topic yet.

Postmodernism is dead. So is 21st-century metafictionalism. I was a philosophy minor for three weeks in freshman year, so you're welcome.

In reference to Survivor's casting you guys said that you hope someone's fiancée isn't blood related. I kind of hope that they are and that they find out during the season. That would be super great (for me [which is, incidentally, what is important to me]). Also, fuck college. Amen guys. In fact, I was gonna start my last year at the University of Washington (U Dub!) in a couple weeks but now I'm gonna drop out. Thanks for the advice guys, you totally opened my mind to the truth! I died when Sean said "I'm a bad bitch." You know, you guys really offended me this week. It's one thing to make jokes about the situation surrounding Gia, from the Bachelor's suicide. It's another totally different one to make jokes about people who are still alive being dead. I mean, what if someone didn't know you guys were kidding and that you guys hosted a comedy podcast? So uncool guys. Also, you aren't even real nerd girls.

Toby Keith Sweat! Where have you been? Also, does anyone know what the hell happened to Jerkface? I miss him too. PS - I'd like to take a moment to recognize our fearless leaders, Sean and Hayes, who are not, in any way, to be construed as our friends or comrades, for their improved participation this week on the forums. I think they and their respective brand management teams have really put in a good effort, so props to Earwolf for increasing the resources allocated to the brand-to-forum communication portion of their cross-platform PR strategy. Great implementation guys, I think this week's numbers will show a strong improvement on brand equity and begin a healthy growth period as we head into the middle of the third quarter with especially strong growth among millenials, who are ever so sensitive to "authentic" brand "experiences." It looks like the Reality SHOW Show management and PR teams have put in some real work and clearly conducted exhaustive research to gauge listener preferences vis-a-vis brand-to-listener communications strategies and brand engagement. Those extra new media courses you guys took in business school that all your colleagues (friends?) made fun of you for might actually have payed off in the end! Congrats!

I bet I am so much more number one faker super bester nerd girl than you.

So I just watched this week's Challenge and it did not disappoint. Frank went nuts and is really adamant that he wasn't trying to get Jordan and Marlon into the Jungle despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. This evidence angers him further. Everyone gets shocked by shock collars. Cara Maria couldn't handle it. I was gonna talk about it more but I got bored and distracted half way through writing this. I might edit it and add more later. Overall though: Pretty Great!

I think your cat was being rather reasonable and if anything deserves a pat on the back and a scratch behind the ears. Maybe someone could even get her some catnip... Because every cat likes to get a little high now and then, am I right?

I'm loving the creative ways the production team is stirring up drama. You can tell that the lack of ratings in the early part of The RW:PDX had a huge effect on how they produced The Challenge. The Frenemies challenge was so bitchy, probably the bitchiest in the history of The Challenge, but I loved every second of it. In the teaser for this week's episode it looks like the sleeping dragon that is Frank may be awoken! Meh, Cara Maria doesn't do it for me. I'm sure she's great and all, but she has this whine to her voice that really just angers me and I don't think I could look past that. She also tends to play the victim a lot. It seems like every season she wonders why everyone is against her all the time, which may be a valid question because everyone does seem to gang up on her super quickly, but she doesn't seem to want to rectify the situation either, so that annoys me. Also, didn't she say she has shocking nipple clamps on the fake electric death jungle? That worries me.

Not trying to be confrontational here or to take sides in any way shape or form. However, that seems a bit unfair to me. I really hope you're just kidding because that ain't right. You seem like a rational and reasonable person (you're from Seattle after all), so I won't waste any more of your time explaining why.

Holy Fucking Shit. This is still going on? If there is a god, please strike me down right now. I no longer wish to live in this world.

...or not. I give up. This is like my parents getting divorced all over again. I thought maybe this time, if I just tried hard enough, I could make each person see that the other's anger could only exist because they cared so much about each other. Now I have come to accept the real truth; that all human relationships are doomed from the start and we are all born and die truly alone. Everyone we love will leave us one way or another and we might as well get used to the paralyzing feeling of endless loneliness. Thanks guys.

...in case anyone needed someone to point it out: this got awkward. Can we please calm down, I'm sure TheNarnold was joking about Chloe Dykstra, who as far as I can tell from not having met her, is a perfectly nice, genuine person who happens to be dating Chris Hardwick of Nerdist and Shipmates fame. For what it's worth, I tend to take people at their word, so if she says she does "nerd stuff," then I'm willing to believe that she probably does. I have no personal knowledge about her "nerd credentials," nor is her possession or lack thereof of any consequence to me and I fail to see their relevance in any case. @TheNarnold: Audience, buddy. Audience. My bet is that at least a few people on this forum personally know Ms. Dykstra, and at least a few more are fans of hers, so maybe tread lightly in the future. In summary: girls, you're both pretty.

You know, for a former British colony, you'd think that Malaysians would speak better English... It's almost like an American podcast host is trying to pretend that their account is actually being managed by Malaysians but didn't realize that Malaysians speak English quite competently... But that's crazy, right guys? Right?

I'm so glad the brands Hayes and Sean clarified that Hayes and Sean aren't actually real people. I, for one, completely bought in to the construct that Hayes and Sean were actually my friends.... I feel so foolish now. The one upside is that I think that lets me off the hook for not having donated to the show. I mean, if they have the resources for such a sophisticated operation, they certainly don't need my money (what little of it there is). I don't know why, I almost felt bad for consuming a podcast that these two guys, Sean and Hayes put their time and effort in to. But now that I know Hayes and Sean are just constructs created to foster a false intimacy between me and the larger Earwolf family of brands, I guess my donation couldn't be that important... Now I can focus my donations on Jesse Thorn and the Maximum Fun network. I feel so much better now. Thanks for clarifying that!

I feel like this topic is turning into a downward spiral of caustic remarks and contempt. Can we please get back to making bad jokes about reality shows and stop acting like Trishelle (Trashelle) from The Challenge? This is totally what Sean and Hayes want us to do; fight amongst ourselves until one by one they do bad things (sorry, lacking imagination tonight) to us and we're all too pissed off at each other to notice. Sean and Hayes are really the bad guys here because they almost never comment on the forums. I mean, who the fuck does that? If there's anyone committing crimes against humanity on this forum it's Sean and Hayes. That's how Hitler started. First he and Mussolini, who had been on Jeopardy a while back and was still riding that gravy train, started a podcast on the Earwolf network and then they stopped commenting on the forums and then they committed genocide. It's such a slippery slope, guys. We must help save Sean and Hayes from themselves as soon as we can before it's too late! I've even heard that Sean and Hayes are responsible for all the wars in the world... And that comes from a very trusted source who doesn't shy away from controversy in the name of standing up for the truth.