chanson

I listen to these wonderful podcasts on a regular or semi-regular basis: Jordan Jesse Go! Stop Podcasting Yourself International Waters 99% Invisible On The Media This American Life Marketplace from APM Inside Europe from Deutsche Welle Ideas from CBC Radio Canada Broadcasting House With Paddy O'Connell Business Scotland The Bugle How Did This Get Made? Everything else I pick up on 94.9 KUOW.

You know, after listening to this episode and then reflecting on it, I realized something; that Hollywood Insiders really need a safe space to talk shop. I guess I just assumed that the glamorous life you guys led was easy and full of nip-slips, hookers, crotch-shots, and coke-fueled rampages. Now I am realizing that you guys need a safe place too. Because it's hard out there for Hollywood types. I'm so humbled by you guys, Hayes and Sean, for taking the time to create a place for your fellow Hollywood Insiders to relax and just be amongst their own kind, away from the stress and terribleness of day-to-day Hollywood life. Some real humanitarian shit you guys are doing. Real humanitarian shit.

Oh, I forgot. I'm also Ke$ha.

I was all of the members of ABBA. NBD.

I would even go as far as to tell the baby Jesus himself to suck it.

Good lookin' out.

Greggy, what's it like to be the rillist thing runnin? --------------------- Also, GQ says that Downtown LA is the the next cool capital of America. My thoughts: Suck my dick GQ.

I was kinda hoping you would know... I also have a dog. Is that a bad thing? PS - Seattle's pretty great. I'm being modest. It's fucking fantastic. I may be biased though seeing as how I haven't ever lived anywhere else. That said, I don't see why I would need to. It has everything. Rain. Skiing. Rain. A giant phallic tower built in the '60s. Lesbians. Republicans who are both afraid of their own political party and the Democrats. Breweries. Dispassionate Sports Fans. Ferries. Trains. Artsy Shit. Entrepreneurship. Billionaires. And other good shit. And all the bad shit goes away because it's depressing here if you're unhappy. And you will either move away or kill yourself (and have people say that Courtney Love actually killed you). I would recommend the former to the latter. But that's just a recommendation and I'm not one to tell people how to live their lives. Oh, also everyone who moves here dates Courtney Love. It's like a city ordinance or whatever.

Realistically? Probably not. Maybe Burdrulz will be my internet girlfriend instead? He might not have an internet boyfriend named Mario. He also might not have a totally not fake totally not made up 100% real IRL boyfriend, too. Which would make him being my internet girlfriend less weird.

This just got interesting.

You should post more. You'll know what to say. Even if it's dumb and pointless. Just take my lead and harass Valerie Bryant in a weird passive aggressive way. She likes the attention. You could also make crazy accusations about Sean and Hayes. Or you could pick a favorite host and then start shaming the other one. All kinds of things to post here about. I just came back from Christmas Eve church service. It was Christtacular! I even got to eat part of Jesus' body and drink some of his blood. Not weird at all! It was super great!

Valerie Bryant, I'm in love with you after that medley. Please be my internet girlfriend. I promise I won't compete with your IRL boyfriend. Because I know he totally exists. I'm also on team Sean. I feel like a Hollywood Handjob drunk Google hangout would be fun. Just saying. #TeamSean

You guys are so generous. I just get my assistants a big ol' punch in the dick. Wait... I don't have any assistants. Then who have I been punching in the dick? Oh, right, homeless people.

This story makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it's the drugs, the underage tattoolery, or the general acknowledgement of the existence working-class people that does it. Oh, I know, it's the fact that there's Spanish in it. That's what did it. It's subversive and I feel like you might be trying to recruit our young white children into some sort of gang-related activity. Narcocorridos are nice songs, though. Don't know what they're saying but I imagine it's something wholesome and family-oriented.

Option 3: Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. Because they are sweeter than normal Wheat Thins. I'll also take a Triscuit with peanut butter and a slice of banana. That's actually better than Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. PS - This makes me a happy panda.

BTW, in case anyone doubted that this is the best forum in all of Earwolf, we have the highest post to topic ratio. Eat my math, rest of Earwolf!

I can't like this because Scott Anchorman is in league with the devil. And Satan. Or I just like too many things. Whatever. Also, everything in your post makes me, as the whitest person anyone has ever met, very uncomfortable.

I don't have a tattoo because I'm not a Pacific Islander and it would be insensitive to steal their cultural traditions and rituals and then use them for the purpose of demonstrating to women that they should want me to have sex with them. They should, though. The women, I mean. I'm pretty awesome. I'm sure you've already noticed. However, as Valerie Bryant knows, I do work out a lot, so I'm considering a big tribal tat. The only reason I haven't done it is because I'm afraid the Samoans at my gym would beat me up for misappropriating their culture and turning it into a symbol for douchiness. Apparently none of the white blue-collar twenty-somethings who work out too much at my gym are aware of such a potential conflict. Very nice people though, Samoans. Good cookies.

No, they aren't. Yes, BD. bc forever unclean. Yes you do because you explained it. Younger you was wrong. Also, Sean is Banksy, so maybe you should ask him how to be better at that. Clearly you need the help. No you don't. And again, yes you do. We know you have a boyfriend, Valerie Bryant. Jesus Christ! It counts. No excuses. You are scarred forever. Take responsibility for your actions, damnit. ----------------------------------- I hope everyone enjoyed me being an asshole. Merry Christmas, nerds. Love You, Bye.

1. Nelson Mandela/George Bush, Jr. (Celebrities?), true though. 2. Never meet your heroes. Also, don't have heroes. They probably suck and cry themselves to sleep. If not, they're sociopaths. That in mind, Engineer Cody. 3. After consulting with my state's apple commission (bestapples.com [not kidding]), I have decided that it's a three-way tie between honeycrisp, gala, and fujis. They're all amazing. Braeburns are alright, too. Washington Apples, do yourself a favor and get one. Slut. ----- That's the slogan I proposed to the Washington State Apple Commission (again, bestapples.com) when I was head of a marketing consulting firm. They weren't amused. No wonder millennials aren't eating Washington Apples like the boomers do. Also, HugLife, thanks for giving me an opportunity to talk about my state. I'd do it anyway, but now it's actually relevant. So, yeah. Buy Washington Apples.

Burdrulz, I don't blackout. I try real hard but all that happens is that I get very smiley and start accosting people for the purpose of hugging them and telling them I love them. Oftentimes I don't really love them. It's a vicious cycle really.

We have a 405 in Seattle, too. It takes you to Microsoft. Also a form of superstardom.

RIP RsS. You came in like a wrecking ball and busted my shit way the fuck up. We were hot and heavy for a long time and you left before I even really felt like I knew you. But you can bet your busted up asses that I loved you with all of my heart, you sick twisted son of a bitch. In nomine patri et fili et spiritus sancti. Amen.

HugLife, I think those must be the old version. Sean doesn't wear glasses anymore according to the Earwolf pictures.

Burdrulz, Instead of the "!?" at the end of "What Up" you should use "‽". It's called an interrobang. You're welcome. Also, I'm so glad that it's a tank top. Or 'vest' for Common Sence. I just don't think that a Hollywood Handjibber shirt could be anything other than a tank.