Smigg

I got 121, excuse me whilst I cry a little. And how did they not include Hercules in New York?

Well, the Doomstar Requiem hasn't been released on DVD yet, but it has huge implications on the overall story, then Adult Swim fucked Brendan Small over and won't let him do Season 5. What they've done is say "Yeah, so, we're not gonna let you do Season 5 here, and we're not gonna allow you to make it elsewhere". So, there's this story that's been going for close to 10 years now, and right when it comes to the payoff "Nah, not gonna bother now".

Some from The Doomstar Requiem http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icLZR4JjsZY

Best musical ever, Metalocalypse: The Doomstar Requiem (although, that's an opera)

It's been a year since we've seen this fucking movie, and I still have PTSD from it... the chicken... the shit-dicks... the leaving... the everything about it....

Or, those assholes who label a video with whatever you're looking to watch with the word "full" at the end, when all it is is a still picture with them reviewing it.

He's never been an intimidating guy. He once told a guy who was getting a little to frisky with his daughter that "You're messing with Hulkamania, brother! I'm gonna get the Hell's Angel's to break your legs if you don't back off!" If a 60 year old man says to me "You're messing with Hulkamania, brother!" I'd laugh in his face and motorboat his daughter because no one in the real world should back down from the threat of "Hulkamania!" We don't negotiate with Hulkamaniacs!

They do.

Or, when Shao Kahn's Extermination Squad drops from the sky, Jax busts out this one: "They don't even use parachutes!"

The movie has TWO guys who were American Gladiators, and one of them is a centaur!

I think knowing the mythology behind it all is what makes it double down in the insanity for me, because they literally had a template for a decent Martial Arts movie, they said "Nah, fuck that shit!" and made a movie that would have been bad for Syfy standards. What about the time a wolf shows up, morphs into a Native American guy (Nightwolf), who then just says "Pretty cool, huh?!" like Tommy Wiseau's taken a bong hit. And that's without mentioning this gem:

I'm great with subtitles, three of my all time favourite films are Ong Bak, The Raid and 13 Assassins.

Well, if that's the case, let Smigg come to the rescue! What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? THE TASTE!!

My wanting them doing it is entirely for my own selfish reasons, because the forum thread would just be littered with me pointing out the little nuances, the inside jokes, the "they fucked that up" comments etc.

Because, as a 23 year fan of the franchise, it's just incredible, the Scheer (see what I did there) amount of fuck up that is contained in this movie is a sight to behold. Not only is it a "bad" movie in the way that it's poorly made, it's just so far removed from the source material, where they basically shove their arm up it's ass, and work it's mouth like a puppet. To put it into perspective, imagine being someone from Nottingham, and you watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and they do the scene where it's revealed that Robin Hood and Will Scarlett are brothers, instead of an "Oh shit!", it's "NO HE'S FUCKING NOT!!" Now imagine that, all the way through the movie. That's why I want them to do it.

Well, the ironic thing is, that actually does happen in the games, but because the movie is so cack-handed in handling it, it was basically "Fuck it, put him back in and say it's his brother". There are two Sub-Zeros in the MK universe. The original in MK 1 is Bi-Han (like I said, I know what too much about this shit), he is killed in the events between MK 1 and 2 by Scorpion as an act of retribution for killing his family and clan (which is a whole different clusterfuck in itself). From MK 2 onwards, it's his younger brother Kuai Liang, who took on the Sub Zero moniker. Bi-Han was then resurrected as Noob Saibot.

It's not just continuity from the films, it's that "NO! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT!" you get when you have them show up. The movie is just a hodge podge or Mortal Kombat 2, 3 and 4, you have characters turning up with no names, whilst other characters are named and they don't show up, and the stories are all fucked up.

I need the MK: Annihilation episode because there is so much I can point out with the movie and how it differs from the games... even to the point of the MK ninjas real names, I'd just go nuts.

MK: Annihilation is my holy grail HDTGM movie, if my stand up career got passed "open mic shithead who offended people", I'd have lobbied to be on that episode.

I keep on longing for the mini-ep where he announced "Next week we are doing Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" so I can properly geek out.

Are you talking about "Drive", because I agree with you. I really don't get what all the fuss is about with that movie, but it's a Nicolas Winding Refn movie. That guy is so far up his own ass, he's coming out of his mouth again in a perpetual loop of pretentiousness. The only movie he did that I enjoyed was "Bronson", and that was because of Tom Hardy's performance. I saw "Only God Forgives" and it's one of the worst pieces of shit I have ever seen, just cinematic "oooooh, I am so artsy" wankery.

If we had tivo boxes where you could pause and rewind live TV back then, I might still be there.

This movie was on about once every six weeks on Channel 5 here in the UK. We used to have "Erotic Thrillers" every Friday Night, it was either a Shannon Tweed movie, or it was Sliver. When you're between the ages of 13-17 with a TV in your room, those films get watched, a lot!