Smigg

It's been mentioned a couple of times in this thread, but while you're waiting for the mini-ep, give a listen to Ian Ziering talking to his Sharknado 3 co-star, Chris Jericho http://podcastone.com/pg/jsp/program/episode.jsp?programID=593&pid=523469

Whale Stones! Hailstones drop from the sky... with Whales!

Well, remember the Polar Vortex? POLAR BEAR VORTEX! With the incredibly cold weather that had parts of Mexico snowing, Polar Bears move south, and they find a rich abundance of food... Humans! As they eat and mate in their new locations, big cities are overrun with giant, killer bears. It's an A-POLAR-CALYPSE!

Swordfish Tsunami... A 'TSwordFishnami" if you will.

The guy in the Danny DeVito part looks like he's in the midst of the most satisfying shit ever.

Before he was in the WWF, Papa Shango/The Godfather was called "The Soultaker".

Ep #1 - Burlesque Ep #5 - Drive Angry * Ep #7 - All About Steve Ep #9 - Fast Five Ep #12 - The Love Guru Ep #13 - Crank 2: High Voltage * Ep #15 - The Back-Up Plan Ep #17 - Skyline Ep #19 - The Wicker Man Ep #20 - Punisher: War Zone Ep #23 - The Room Ep #24 - Superman III Ep #25 - Catwoman Ep #26 - Jingle All The Way * Ep #28 - Crank * Ep #32 - 88 Minutes Ep #37 - Speed 2: Cruise Control Ep #38 - Bad Ass Ep #39 - Godzilla Ep #40 - Judge Dredd Ep #41 - Spider-Man 3 * Ep #42 - Batman & Robin Ep #43 - Wild Wild West Ep #44 - Jaws 4: The Revenge Ep #45 - Road House Ep #46 - Barb Wire Ep #47 - Super Mario Bros Ep #49 - Cobra * Ep #52 - Reindeer Games Ep #53 - Anaconda Ep #55 - The Devil's Advocate Ep #59 - Spice World ** Ep #60 - Street Fighter * Ep #61 - Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot Ep #63 - Fast & Furious 6 Ep #64 - After Earth ** Ep #65 - Howard the Duck Ep #66 - Demolition Man * Ep #67 - Sharknado ** Ep #68 - Over The Top Ep #71 - The Glimmer Man Ep #72 - Toys Ep #73 - Congo Ep #75 - Daredevil Ep #77 - Hudson Hawk Ep #78 - Crossroads ** Ep #79 - Deck the Halls * Ep #80 - Jack Frost ** Ep #81 - Mortal Kombat * Ep #82 - Double Team Ep #84 - No Holds Barred Ep #88 - Mr. Nanny Ep #90 - Sharknado 2: The Second One ** Ep #98 - LOL ** Ep #100 - Junior Ep #102 - Tango & Cash Ep #105 - Safe Haven ** Ep #108 - Con Air Ep #109 - Face Off Ep #111 - Hercules in New York * Ep #113 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II ** Ep #114 - Runaway ** Ep #115 - Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! ** * - Owned ** - Watched specifically for HDTGM

What about a Sharknado 4 where they use the Sharknado to rescue David Hasselhoff from space? There could be a meteor heading for the earth, and they have to create the most destuctive force ever known to man to stop it. So they actually create a Sharknado to break up the meteor. And (spoiler alert for a movie that doesn't exist), when the meteor is destroyed, they kill two meteors with one shark, and use it to bring David Hasselhoff home.

One cameo that I got a kick out of, but hasn't been talked about (mainly because not many people would know the guy) is former UFC Heavyweight Champion, Josh Barnett. Why they would give this guy a gun I have no idea. Just the image of him putting a shark in an armbar... or a Fin-bar... would have made the movie.

Best example of just how much of a dullard she is, is Opie & Anthony's commentary of 'Taradise' with Bill Burr:

LOL did cause the best thread on the HDTGM boards, but I may still have PTSD almost a year after the fact. The Room did cost me a relationship after using it as a practical joke. I might have to go with Mortal Kombat.

I actually love Down Periscope

Maybe we should look into the obvious fact that Ivan Drago actually the hero in the story.

Okay, here's one that happens way too often in sports movies... "The ref's on their side!!" Because the 1,000,000/1 underdogs overcoming the 100 year in a row champions aren't enough odds to overcome, the referee's on the take too, and is biased towards the other team, the other team can't just be fucking awesome, but obnoxious and arrogant, they have to cheat too. Which also leads to another point in sports movies that gets overused. Ignoring the rules of the sport completely: "This has never happened before in the history of this sport!" That's because you're not following the rules! Like the boxers who get knocked down more than three times in a round, which should end the fight in a TKO. They usually do this more in Combat Sports movies.

But this a company that created "The Kiss Demon", who had to be in "Main Event Matches" so they could get Kiss to play live.

I was thinking the exact same thing. As for WCW killing it, it's because they were dumbshits. Southern based promotion, they made the country music guys the heels, whilest the obnoxious rapper, and his gang that had them outnumbered 5-to-1 were the supposed good guys.

This film, I can't even begin to tell you about it, it's bat-shit crazy. Despite the cover boasting a review that says "A British Scarface", the only way that review could have possibly said that is if it said "They were clearly trying to make 'A British Scarface' but failed miserabley." In fact, I'll ask you this question which might whet your appetite. Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight between Cockney Gangsters and Al Qaeda? Well, here's your answer... we lose, as a society. The movie stars British "Celebrity Gangster" (yes, that's how he markets himself), Dave Courntney as 'Dave Bishop', the man who owns the ecstacy trade in London, until Al Qaeda try taking what he built! This movie has it all, an leading man who literally cannot act, a director who was doing NHS Documentaries, sound that isn't synced correctly, really bad ADR, unnecessary sound effects and a story that makes you think "When did I take LSD?" This is the kind of movie that would make Jason freak the fuck out And here's the trailer:

Another great one was 'I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!".

Yeah, if they'd have made a straight up "Hey, let's do the shit they did in those 80s action movies", then it would have been great. But I've never been a fan of surrealism, stuff like The Mighty Boosh never appealed to me, and I felt like I was watching that. There's a rich vein of stupid shit from 80s action movies. - "Americans" with thick foreign accents, whilst still having 'American' names - Shirtless gunfights - Dropping weapons to have a fist fight, which ends with the good guy's buddy showing up and saying "Hey! We gotta go", so the good guy just knocks the other guy out. - Going undercover, whilst changing absolutely NOTHING about their physical appearance, getting recognised, and just killing everyone anyways. - Made up places, so they can just film in the US. - Villains with disabilities (either an eyepatch or a wheelchair seem to be the go to) - Skilled henchmen that kick the protagonist's ass, but then get cocky and die. - The "I'm gonna get a shitload of weapons" montage - Gratuitous Bikini montage - Feats of strength that aren't used for the rest of the movie - The grenade being thrown, and someone gets shot in the air. - Being chased by an aircraft whilst in a car or truck These are just off the top of my head, without silly stuff like the Triceratops head, I don't even know why I find it so egregious.

My issue with Kung Fury was that it wasn't an 80s parody. It was surrealism with a thick coat of ironic '80s paint. I was hoping for Black Dynamite-esq parody. Where they make a cheap 80s action movie, as opposed to "Hey look, this guy has a Triceratops head! And here's Kung Fu Hitler! You know what would make this work? The 80s!" That's why it fell flat for me, because it's not what I was hoping it would be,

Yeah, although, here in the UK, it's called 'Warrior King'.

Well, we have a channel called "Movies 24", this is such a shitty movie channel, their programming is made up exclusively by Straight-to-video and Made-for-TV movies, and they were on there, so I checked them out. These sequels are a sight to behold, both the Kickboxer and Bloodsport ones, I'm pretty sure they're on Youtube. Regarding Movies 24, I can't talk too much shit on that channel, I saw a movie on there starring Steven Seagal and Stone Cold Steve Austin called "Maximum Conviction". Seagal and Austin, I don't care what anyone says, that's a fucking great combo. As for the new one, I'm usually dead set against remakes of movies I loved from my childhood, but this has Tony Jaa in too, so I'm up for it. I'll watch Tony Jaa in anything.

Okay, if you want some more JCVD movie sequel weirdness, there are three Bloodsport sequels. None of which star JCVD, and only one (Bloodsport 2) featuring Ray Jackson. Now, Bloodsport 2 stars Daniel Bernhardt, Pat Morita and James Hong, the poster looks like this: Daniel Bernhardt plays "Alex Cardo", a thief who was caught stealing a katana sword (familiar?), but was sent to prison, where violence was encouraged. Then he trains and enters the Kumite, blah blah blah Now, here's Bloodsport III's poster: Yes, the same picture in both posters. Daniel Bernhardt returns as Alex Cardo, to avenge the death of his trainer! Now, here's Bloodsport 4's poster (having trouble posting the pic): http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0172184/ What the fuck! Did he just show up and they just had one picture taken?! So, Daniel Bernhardt returns as Alex Cardo... what?! I'm sorry, Daniel Bernhardt isn't "Alex Cardo", because he's an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FUCKING CHARACTER NAMED "KELLER!" So, completely different character, completely different story, there's no Pat Morita, because Alex Cardo no longer exists, because he's "Keller", different guy completely!

Here's Tong Po: Here's Tong Po in Kickboxer 4: And, for the hell of it, the poster for Kickboxer 3 is a sight to behold.