Smigg

You don't want them to do Kickboxer, you want them to do the Kickboxer sequels, which include weirdness like: Kickboxer 2: - Jean-Claude Van Damme being killed off by Tong Po, whilst being played by someone else. With the main character being the younger brother of JCVD's character David Sloane - Peter Boyle as a crooked fight promoter - Shang Tsung from Mortal Kombat at Tong Po's manager. Kickboxer 3: - Now we're in Brazil, David Sloane is the world champion - As it turns out, there's an American down there, who is running a child sex and slavery ring - David and his trainer find out about this, and decide to investigate the situation Kickboxer 4: - Now David Sloane is in prison, after being framed for Murder. - And HEY! Tong Po is back! And he's played by a different guy! - And HEY! He's decided that he's no longer a Muay Thai fighter, he's now a Drug Trafficker... In Mexico... - Oh, and he's kidnapped David Sloane's wife. - And Tong Po is holding a private Martial Arts tournament on his compound, so the DEA get Sloane out of prison to go undercover in the tournament, in the compound of the guy whose brother's he killed, and then kicked his ass. - And HEY! JCVD is in this... by using Archive Footage... fighting Tong Po... using Archive Footage... Showing that this is clearly a different guy! - And there's a character named LANDO, I believe he posts on this board. In fact, he's in this thread. Cool. Kickboxer 5 - David Sloane is now dead, he was murdered, meaning the entire "Sloane Kickboxing Dynasty" have been murdered, enter Marc Dacascos, he is playing "Matt Reeves" - This is just so weird, I can't even understand it. - Basically, this guy has a "fighting organisation", and invites the best fighters in the world to work for him, if they decline, they're killed, Matt Reeves goes to South Africa to kick some ass.

Yeah, it felt like they were trying way too hard to be intentionally bad, and the absurdity just felt really forced, and because it felt really forced it just fell flat.

I just watched, and I'm saddened to say, I didn't like it. I think it tries way too hard and the joke wears thin after a while.

Why has nobody brought up the tyre skidding sound effect when the car is on wet grass?

There's something very fitting about Jason saying that Arnold Stang should have turned into an animated animal, because Arnold Stang was actually the voice of Top Cat.

I love this movie, and actually bought it, and I consider it the best 74p I have ever spent, I'd have spent double on it.

Unnecessary Parkour. If someone is chasing after you with some kind of cleaver or firearm, just fucking run, don't piss-arse around with your cartwheels and rolls. just fucking run. The "Fuck This" Car Gear. When there's a car chase, and the chasing car is gaining on the car in front, and when when they get just close enough, the guy being chased says "fuck this", they do a close up of the gear stick as he hits the extra gear and he speeds off. If the car has that gear, just fucking use it.

Well, this fucker escalated.

Or, he just stuck bits of paper on him and Caan just said post it notes.

James Caan also revealed that he would actually write lines on the extras' heads, and even went as far as sticking post-it notes on Caan's face when they were making the Godfather so he could remember his lines, whilst still looking like he was actually talking to the person he was in a scene with.

74p as in £0.74, and real Arnold.

I bought this movie on DVD, with Arnold's original voice. It's the best 74p I have EVER spent in my life.

This film has my favourite line in movie history. "No way, asshole! You gotta pay!" The whole scene is just, beautiful

Jarry, you've done it again!

Please stick to the asses and the tits that you're used to!

Okay, I might have the definitive "Face/Off" pairing that would also be conducive to the greatest HDTGM episode ever.... and

Judgement Night's soundtrack is just incredible, I listen to "Another Body Murdered" by Boo-Yah Tribe & Faith No More pretty much every day.

Just wait until my Death Metal version...

As for my alternative stars: Jason Statham and Wesley Snipes - Directed by John McTiernan

After seeing the movie open with a child getting killed by a Sniper Rifle wielding Nic Cage, instead of being shocked that I've just seen a child get well and truly fucked up, my reaction after seeing the police report was a jovial "Hey! It happened on my birthday!"

Can't fully hate this movie, because the soundtrack is fucking bad ass.

So, it was Aviatory Hubris? Arrogant Colm Meaney thought "Well, I've been on the Starships, this will be a piece of piss!" and then look what happened, people died.

June not liking "Boat Movies", just reminded me of Opie & Anthony's "Jocktober" where one of their target's (Scott Shannon) wanted to see Captain Phillips, and just called it "The Boat Move" If you haven't heard any "Jocktober" bits, imagine "How Did This Get Made?" but targeting radio shows. Absolutely hilarious, especially when they target Scott and Todd.

Much like June talked about John Cusack becoming an action star in this movie. This movie also caused a change for Colm Meaney? What was that change? The realisation that Colm Meaney needs to stay the fuck away from planes! He's in Con Air, shit happens to the plane. But, cast your mind back to a little film named "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" Stay the fuck away from the planes, Colm!