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Smigg

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Posts posted by Smigg

  3. Posted

    Okay, some of the things brought up;

     

    The Island - It's not on Earth,

     

    The Autographed Picture - That's a reference of the "Friendship" finishing moves started in Mortal Kombat II, which was introduced to make fun of the lobbyists looking to ban the games.

     

    "The Cyborg Guy" (Kano) - He's from Earth, but he's a traitor, so he's kept away from the rest of the Earthrealm fighters.

     

    Kitana - She's the adopted daughter of Shao Kahn (the skull mask emperor guy at the end). She's actually good. Her real father was the King of a realm called Edenia, however, it was absorbed into Outworld, the King was killed, Shao Kahn married the Queen (Sindel, who is in later games and the sequel) and adopted Kitana.

     

    The Goro Nut Punch - That's a reference to Jean Claude Van Damme, the Mortal Kombat game was originally going to be a vehical for JCVD, but he backed out before the game was made. JCVD did that move in Bloodsport, and in the game, Johnny Cage is wearing what JCVD wore in Bloodsport.

     

    Goro - He's of the "Shokan" race, There are two more in the games, Kintaro and Sheeva (Kamini Somakandakram...) the latter being in the movie sequel.

     

    Scorpion ripping his face off - He's not actually human, he's a spectre.

     

    Sonya Blade's Occupation - The Wiki tells of her position from Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance, around that time, she was just "Special Forces", there was even a terrible spin off game called "Mortal Kombat: Special Forces".

    • Like 4

  4. Posted

     

    There is much more baffling shit than that going on. The Zangief/E Honda fight with Godzilla noises, brainwashing a monster to be good by making him watch wedding videos (which is typically enough to make anyone insane), the teetotaler bureaucrat that is set up to show that diplomacy is wimpy and defeatist. Zangief's "Change the channel!!" (which in all fairness, did make me laugh) Fucking Dhalsim very randomly being bald and shirtless in his last scene, with NO explanation at all or even a hint of explanation. The fact that most of this movie seems to try its hardest to at least try to mimick what it might perceive to be reality, even on science fiction terms (re: M Bison's magic boots), yet Ryu throws a fucking fireball out of nowhere, and NOBODY seems to be surprised about that. That pose they all do at the very end.

     

    And of course, the most egregious front to me from this movie.... every Street Fighter character is squeezed into this movie (even freakin T Hawk) EXCEPT for Fei Long!

     

    What makes it even worse is that not only do they fit them in any old place, they're nothing like they're character for the most part, like Ryu, the main protagonist from the very first game (which I played on the Sinclair ZX Spectrum in the 80s), all of a sudden, he's a con man.

     

    I loved the "Change the Channel!!" line, speaking of Zangieff, did anyone else see him in the new Die Hard movie as one of the gang members (the tattooed guy who goes into the helicopter with the red lighting near the end)?

     

    Sagat for me is perhaps the worst one. He was the final boss in the original game, a 7' 5" Muay Thai Champion, now he's "Victor", and looks like the Xerxes/Persian Nightclub owner in the 300/Lesbos episode of South Park.

     

    What about that awesome part where Bison says to Sagat "I GUESS YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT DID YOU!!" whilst covering his eye? That's an awesomely delivered line.

  6. Posted

     

     

    I think I saw one of them. It had that guy from Step by Step -- the drughead, Cody -- in it. He apparently is a legit martial arts and skillful woman beater.

     

    There's five Kickboxer movies in all, the last one starring Mark Dacascos and four Bloodsport movies, two of which star Pat Morita. Funny thing about the Bloodsport sequels is there's one guy who is in 2, 3 and 4 as the lead, in 2 and 3, he's playing one character, then, in the 4th, he's the lead again, but as a completely different character.

  7. Posted

     

    That's in the formula. In no other martial arts movie do you have a scene where the main character has a dance sequence that ends up being a fight scene, ala Jackie Chan (using random objects in his environment as weapons). Tong Po rapes the girl that JCVD is seeing and he gets pissed. That's when Tong Po goes down. Still I think Bloodsport was his best work.

     

    Oh yeah, Bloodsport is by far the best JCVD movie, did you see any of the Bloodsport or Kickboxer sequels?

  8. Posted

    The only JCVD movie that is any good is Bloodsport. I wouldn't consider Street Figther a true JCVD movie.

     

    His movies follow a simple forumula: good guy comes into to town to find brother/friend/mentor. Good guy sees that this brother/friend/mentor is in trouble, and he wants to help. The best way to help is to beat alot of ass. Also, there is a scene where the good guy is dancing. Also, the guy beds his love interest in an incredibly graphic sex scene. More fighting. Guy meets up with the main villain. Main villian rapes/molests the good guy's love interest. All hell breaks loose as the the good guy let's out righteous fury. Boobs. Explosions. Fin.

     

    For a true JCVD experience, I suggest you all watch Double Impact. This is full on B-movie goodness and I know help usher in adolescence to many men in their early 30s.

     

    What about Kickboxer? That's a great movie

  10. Posted

    I am SO glad you've decided to do this movie because, as a guy who grew up on Street Fighter II, I went to this the day it came out in Britain.

     

    One thing that you need to bring up is that they actually released "Street Fighter: The Movie: The Video Game".

     

    The morons actually released a video game, based on the movie, based on the video game! Not only that, it's made by using the actual actors in the movie.

     

    streetfightermovie-scrn.jpg

     

    What makes it even more ironic is that JCVD lends his likeness to a Mortal Kombat rip off, he was originally going to be in Mortal Kombat!

     

    I can keep going for ages about this, from the "American" General being Belgian, with a thick accent, yet has an American Flag tattoed on his arm, a 7' tall Muay Thai fighter, who is 5'10" and doesn't know Muay Thai... there's just so much to talk about.

     

    I cannot wait for this episode.

    • Like 1

  12. Posted

    Well, when you look at it from a different perspective, it makes perfect sense,

     

    Geri Halliwell kisses the Alien on the mouth.

    The scene where they're all pregnant (including Geri)

     

    Now, this following point changes the whole movie

     

    Geri Halliwell is Chev Chelios' mother in Crank 2.

     

    Spiceworld is actually the first Crank movie! Geri banged the alien offscreen, got pregnant via the alien and gave birth to Chev Chelios!!

     

    That explains why the flashback scene in Crank 2, set in the 90s shows Chev as a kid, when Chev is about 40, it's the alien genes which is making him age much faster, on top of that, Chev never met his father.

    • Like 6
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