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Archie Liberace

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About Archie Liberace

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  1. Archie Liberace

    Commando (1985)

    "Chenny! Chenny!" A classic from the first scene of Arnold carrying a tree to the final assault where he kills maybe 70 guys. His best work.
  2. Archie Liberace

    Body Double (1984)

    I remember this movie with anger. I was working on the school paper and I was given a pass for the night it opened. Asked out a gorgeous girl who I had been studying with recently, figured the time was right to start dating (or so I hoped). Between the porno scenes and the giant drill, she was not impressed. Forget the friend zone, we were barely nodding acquaintances for the rest of our time at school. Damn you DePalma!
  3. Archie Liberace

    Love Actually (2003)

    Some goofball critic at Rotten Tomatoes said this: "Plenty of entertainment in this well acted ensemble comedy that Robert Altman could easily have put his name on." Somewhere, Robert Altman is preparing bloody vengeance from beyond the grave for this particular critic. This - to me - is like saying that "Grown Ups" would have been a fine addition to Fellini's canon. Imagine making a film out of the loglines from ten awful romantic comedies and you have "Love Actually." But this is a film that is well worth watching in order for the discerning viewer to vent his or her spleen while yelling as a constant parade of well known actors prove that when it comes to reciting garbage, not even a nice English accent can cover the stench. Watch it and see which love story irritates you the most. Is it the porn body doubles who talk sweetly as they simulate on-camera sex? Is it the brilliant writer who falls head over heels for his cleaning lady?Is it the story that sees Prime Minister Hugh Grant realizing that he can't live without his buxom aide? Is it the bromance between the old glam rocker and his long-suffering manager? No cliche is unutilized, no logic is applied, no cheap sentimentality is unexploited. Worth watching for the funeral scene where Liam Neeson's wife's coffin is carried out of the church to the strains of the Bay City Rollers.
  4. Archie Liberace

    Masterminds (2012) starring Tila Tequila

    Oh this looks dreadful. Check out the trailer. http://mastermindsmovieonline.com/ According to the voiceover guy, it is "One of the best produced Indy action movies of the year."
  5. Archie Liberace

    Series of Unfortunate Events

    A stunningly bad film that managed to take all of the darkness from the book series and left out all of the fun. There seems to be a trajectory in the careers of film comedians - the rise, the stardom, the mega stardom, the films where no one tries to rein in their performances, the slide to clichedom and mediocrity... This applies to Jim Carrey as much as to Mike Myers and Will ferrell. When they work with directors who try to control their hammy tendencies, they can be quite funny. But when the director sits back and lets the actors do whatever they want, the result is disastrous. This film was directed by Brad Silberling who also helmed the Podcast eligible "Land Of The Lost" a few years later.
  6. Archie Liberace

    The Cat in the Hat (2003)

    We were psyched to see the preview and took both kids along (6 & 4 at the time). Packed theatre filled with parents and young kids and it was clear ten minutes in that this was a colossal bomb. I mean, no laughter, no reactions from the kids. Nothing. Stunned silence was the order of the evening - this was a franchise killer of the worst sort. And to this day, it remains the only feature film directed by Bo Welch who one imagines was simply on hand to tell the rest of the cast to shut up when Mike Myers was speaking.
  7. Archie Liberace

    I Am Sam (2001)

    Agree 100%. Ten minutes into this movie and I was cringing. A while later I was laughing and by the end of it I was yelling insults at the screen. Sean Penn was nominated for an Oscar, but he reminded me of an unfunny 8th grader trying to imitate a mentally challenged person. BUT I can not recommend that anyone watch this atrocity - it is very uncomfortable viewing.
  8. Archie Liberace

    Medea's Big Happy Family

    Perhaps Perry's masterpiece. His jarring mix of insult comedy, pathos and social commentary is in full flower here. When Medea's niece gets "the cancer," her family is too busy being dysfunctional to even be told about it. A mixture of fat jokes, cancer, Maury Povich, incestuous rapes (spoiler alert), broad comedy, manipulative women, gospel singing and general obesity that has to be seen to be believed.