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Hollywood day, New York nights, Moscow mornings, wherever you are, it's always Laugh O'Clock here at Comedy Bang! Bang!

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights do make an airplane.

Aukerman, Aukerman, Does whatever an auker can Spins a joke, any size Catches laughs, just like flies Look out! Here comes the Aukerman!

They say, "an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind," but I say that would be great because I raise seeing-eye dogs for a living.

Welcome to Comedy Bang! Bang! I'm your host, Scott Aukerman. Thanks for the wonderful show. I'll see you next time. Bye!

Welcome to WTF, I'm your host, Marc Maron.

If you can't stand the heat, then you should really turn on the A/C to cool down!