For Dan:
I can't be the first person to alert you to this endless source of classic, County-ready stories: https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan
But if so, this will change your life. This Twitter feed includes the now-classic headline, "Florida Man Broke Into Woman's Home, Took iPad Photos Of Himself With Her Underwear On His Head" (http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2013/jun/25). Among countless others.
Enjoy!