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About tortoisebeats

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    Goddamn City Slicker
  1. tortoisebeats

    Episode 186 - Geostorm: LIVE!

    Between this line about the self driving cab and the line about the President pro tempore of the Senate, I have no clue how the writers thought through the details to fill these plot holes, but the rest of the movie is so full of random nonsense. Still, what a hilarious movie to sit through.
  2. tortoisebeats

    Episode 186 - Geostorm: LIVE!

    Omission: I'm legitimately surprised no one picked this up, but while the focus of Ed Harris' masterplan was to destroy America's enemies, the secondary part of his plan was to assume the office of President of the United States. Unfortunately, as the Secretary of State, he is 4th in the line of succession behind 1) the Vice President, 2) Speaker of the House of Representatives, 3) President pro tempore of the Senate. The writers of the movie must've worried about someone calling out the chain of succession so they added a single line during the Democratic Convention in Orlando where the VP says "and I'm joined here with the Speaker of the House and the President pro tempore of the Senate to support the President to reelection" in order to show that if Orlando were destroyed, only Ed Harris would be left to take over. A few problems with this. First of all, the role of President pro tempore of the Senate is way less powerful than a Majority Leader in the Senate, but is assigned by the Majority Leader. Its the reason you would see Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell, and Paul Ryan together on TV or in the news. You wouldn't just randomly start talking about Orrin Hatch instead of Mitch McConnell. Wouldn't a more meaningful statement to make at a political convention to say "I am joined here by the Speaker of the House and the Majority Leader of the Senate." Secondly, wouldn't it be easier to make Ed Harris the VP so that he is more clearly bad guy with the most to benefit? Its not as if Ed Harris was doing Secretary of State type things throughout the movie anyway and the only time we see the VP is during the speech. Lastly, the even easier solve to this would've been to make Washington DC a target of the geostorm while Ed Harris is off anywhere else to enjoy his newfound Presidency!
  3. tortoisebeats

    Episode 402 - Solo Bolo Trolo

    Elegant as expected from Mr. S. I feel exactly the same way. BTW incredible profile picture.
  4. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/08/10/body-report-cards-arent-influencing-arkansas-teenagers/?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0 How would kid Besser have dealt with this?
  5. tortoisebeats

    EPISODE 365 β€” Bongo vs. Bongos

    Except for the times when Zouks takes something Scott says fully to its ridiculous conclusion. (Episode 356 10 min 15 seconds) Scott: "Junior. That's the one where he gets..." Jason: "Pregnant with a baby" Scott: "How does he do it? Does he stick his penis in his butt?" Jason: "Yep he sticks his penis in his butt because he's ovulating from his butt. Because he has a buttgina? Is this what you wanted? This is what you wanted?"
  6. tortoisebeats

    EPISODE 335 β€” The Wedding of Gilli and Garry

    Gilly's improv'ed song was so good it doesn't make sense. I've relistened to just that part 5 times now.
  7. Oh shit that was my video that I suggested! I'm glad Matt and the gang loved it.
  8. tortoisebeats

    submit youtube clips for improv4humans

    My favorite video in a long time: "Funniest Bus Argument" Old lady is complaining to a New York City bus driver that he is driving too slow and she is late for work. Another passenger chimes in to defend the bus driver. Doesn't need too many visuals and its a pretty audio heavy. Only 2 mins too.
  9. Great episode. I missed hearing the awkward dulcet tones of Eric the unpaid intern. Where do I chime in on the votes? I personally love the musical episodes because it mixes things up and it brought me into a sort of country music I really didn't know existed. Case closed is exhausting sometimes and feels a little one sided / yell-y. I honestly don't find it relaxing/entertaining to hear two people not getting convinced about each other's opinions and its a drag on the show. It's worked the best when experts actually chime in like the sushi rite aid guy that talks about facts. Way shorter Weirdly I like the Mississippi stuff even though it feels similar to case closed. It's probably because people are talking about facts like rankings of states on x chart.
  10. tortoisebeats

    Episode 324 β€” Golden Duchess Cruise Lines

    This would've been so perfect I would have literally died. Just like when Lauren's character said her husband was on Borat because he calls her his wife. Sometimes its the jokes they don't say.
  11. tortoisebeats

    Episode 323 β€” Pie Quiz with Tears for Fears

    At first I was impressed with how much detail you put into this and then I googled it. I think I vomited all over my pie.
  12. tortoisebeats

    Episode 318 β€” Lumber Hack

    It should've been the first "ask the UCB" episode after the Jay Mohr episode.
  13. tortoisebeats

    Episode 155 β€” Wild Horses Return

    Lauren and Steph as the mom and daughter. So good.
  14. tortoisebeats

    Episode 155 β€” Wild Horses Return

    Back to back I4H episodes with Lauren Lapkus? I'm the happiest man in the world right now.