Jesse Carrigan

There is so much dialogue in this movie that consists entirely of basketball puns, bad one-liners, and things that just don't really make sense. Some of my favorite examples: HAS IT? I must have missed something. This was one of my favorite ones because it's such a dated reference: Rodman was criticized during his time with the Chicago Bulls for his practice habits (often skipping or being late). At the time, this might have made sense to the audience, but only old people like me remember that kind of thing now. Well, it's a good thing you introduced him to everybody.

I feel like I just won the internet. I knew getting that college education would pay off one day.

Guys, there is a convergence with another HDTGM movie. I just saw Road House and realized that Anson Mount has morphed into Sam Elliott. Proof:

Holy smokes. Mystery Men is one of my favorite movies of all time and I completely missed that Dr. Heller was played by Tom Waits. This makes my day. You can see more 0s in there, which means there were multiple somebodies who tipped at least $10. Those could be $20s, although given the production budget I think $10 was probably the max. However, I think we can figure out more. I remember Daddy Anson saying when they counted the money "It's enough for the radiator. And the trip." So they made enough to fix the radiator, which was $350 (is that right?). With some other numbers, we should be able to crunch how much was in that jar. Distance from Nawlins to LA: 1829 miles Price of gas in 1999: $1.30 (ermagerd) Fuel economy: 10 mpg (let's be generous) Food, hotel, minibar raid: $1000 (just swagging this one, but my assumption is at least 2 hotel stays, convenience store food for 5 people - Mimi is eating for 2 - and the amount of alcohol and Pepsi from the minibar based on minibar prices I've seen) (183 gallons of gas * $1.30) => $238 + $350 + $1000 = $1588 That's an implausible amount of tip money for singing "I Love Rock and Roll" at a karaoke bar even if everyone was really drunk.

Honestly, though? Brit Brit is not terrible in this. I mean, I'm not saying give her an Oscar, but I thought she comported herself pretty well.

Sorry, I should have just said "I have no frakking idea". I think 'plan' is probably a strong word for most of what happens in this movie. I also think you may have brought up the one believable thing about this movie, which is that its central conceit is that a bunch of friends who have just graduated from high school take off on a really, truly ill-advised cross-country trip with no plan and no money with a dude who as far as they know may be a convicted murderer. I'm not saying I did almost exactly that, but I'm also NOT not saying it.

This is a great point. How on earth did her parents get together? I mean, he is a Navy man, maybe that helped. Somehow I'm imagining a scenario similar to the one Mimi faced, except that Brit Brit's dad seems way too square and decent for that. Is this movie actually a compare/contrast between Mimi's acceptance of her pregnancy and her child and Kim Catrall's rejection of her offspring? Wow, this is deep. What about the rampant sexism? I must have missed this (obviously because I am a huge sexist). I did think, when Ben made them stop the car and got out and was flipping out in the desert by himself with Taryn, Zoe and Brit Brit looking on, "oh, he's mentally ill and he was in a massive schizoid episode when he killed that man. The girls should flee immediately before he has another psychotic break." Also, that shot/reverse shot where Blue Bottled Beer says, "Sorry I'm a cheating rapist" and Zoe Saldana starts to freak out, and then it cuts back to him and he just takes a drink like he's in a Fast & Furious movie. That's good filmmaking right there.

Ah, I missed the exterior shot. But that's my point. IT WAS POURING RAIN IN ARIZONA. I mean, I know it happens, but it's like the rain in The Glimmer Man. They wanted a shot of Brit Brit walking in to the hotel room soaked through, location be damned. There are many more bizarre things that happen in this movie, like when they get from rural Louisiana to New Orleans somehow despite having no money, but the Arizona downpour was weird.

Also, I thought for sure that Kit's evil cheating rapist fiance was cheating on her with JAIME PRESSLY. But it turned out to be this woman: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0091136/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t12 In my defense when you only get a 2 second wide shot of her she looks a lot like Jaime Pressly.

I think she ended up wanting to keep the baby, because she says at the end in the hospital something about when she was standing in the ocean and felt him kick it was like a sign. (Gawd, you guys, this movie is dark.) Was I hallucinating at this point, or did Britney Spears come back after talking to her mother to the hotel where everyone else was staying, and she was soaking wet as if she had walked for miles in the rain? Because Ben walks into the bathroom to bring her dry clothes, right? BUT WHERE DID THE RAIN COME FROM? THEY WERE IN ARIZONA!

Also, Dan Akroyd was approaching his role in this movie with his A-game: Talk about an unwarranted level of effort. The IMDB trivia page also throws up this gem: I do not believe this for half a second but I absolutely want to live in a world where Robert De Niro was reading Britney Spears' part to this dude.

I just noticed that this was listed in Google Play as a comedy. A comedy in which [spoilerS] Mimi is pregnant and reveals halfway through that she was raped, then at the end falls down the stairs and her baby dies; the rapist is revealed to be Kit's fiance; and Lucy's mother tells Lucy that she was a mistake. I wrote down in my notes "This movie is filled with pain. There is so much darkness."

I'm pretty sure this says it all.

Guys, I was talking to my mom and sister today and thought of this movie. It has: - Ralph "Daniel-san" Macchio as a classical guitarist who wants to learn about the essence of the blues. - Joe Seneca as the elderly bluesman who made a deal with the devil and needs help getting to the Mississippi Delta to revoke it (yes, this is the same movie). - Jami Gertz as a girl they pick up on the road (who helps Ralph Macchio lose his virginity). The final scene is a guitar battle with Satan's guitarist (played by Steve Vai) for Joe Seneca's soul. It is bonkers and amazing. It also features incredible dialogue like: Please do this movie.

The accents really did kind of come and go. There was one great scene where they were loading the plane and Ernie Hudson was saying something about Tim Curry's character not really being a philanthropist. They were bickering and both their accents disappeared at the same time; suddenly Tim Curry was British and Ernie Hudson was American, and then they were back.

Until I saw this movie I believed there was not a person less likely to say a Schwarzenegger-esque one-liner right before shooting a laser at monsters than Laura Linney, but I was so, so wrong.

I was sad that the dialogue was so boring overall, but there were a handful of gems. "Have your laughing, and I will have mine!" "I don't have her passion. I'll follow the gorilla." "What about them?" "Put them on the endangered species list." "Stop eating my sesame seed cake. STOP EATING MY SESAME SEED CAKE." Also, they were constantly saying lines to each other that didn't sound like they were even having the same conversation.

Maybe it's a prequel to Moonraker.

Am I the only one who thought of Bubba Ho-Tep when Dylan Walsh came running out of the tent with the leech on his peepee?

I am less than halfway through Congo and my mind is collapsing in on itself. I'm entirely confused about what this movie actually is about. The hard cut in the first 30 seconds from the jungle to outer space completely destroyed my sense of what era it is. I have so many questions. Is this a horror movie? A comedy? A adventure in the style of Indiana Jones? Why does the pilot look like a WWI-era British Aviator but has a New Jersey accent? What happened to Tim Curry and Ernie Hudson's accents? Why do the scientists keep wanting to just duck out in the middle of the jungle or a vehicle checkpoint? Why do they hate geeks so much when they are complete geeks? This movie is amazing.

Deadly Prey (YouTube) is completely amazing. A man is kidnapped by mercenary thugs to be used as the target for a sadistic training exercise. What the kidnappers don't realize is that he is a former special forces operative, who only needs his bare hands and short-shorts to exact revenge upon them all. In a completely unexpected twist, the man running the merc squad is...HIS FORMER TRAINER AND COMMANDER! Inane catch phrases, plot twists that don't make sense, explosions that do no harm from 18 inches away, and a lush forest apparently 40 minutes from suburban L.A. make this a cinematic treat that must be experienced to be believed.

From the classic Deadly Prey: Bad Guy in A Suit: What is this? Who are you? Hero's Father-in-Law: Who am I? A little man who spent twenty-seven years of his life as a cop trying to put big-shots like you away. Twenty-seven years in the filth and the dirt of the street, and there ain't no music down there. You watch the people in the streets killing, raping each other, pumping dope through their veins while big men like you sit in the fancy penthouses--and you let the poor slobs rot in hell. I know about you, as long as it puts money in your pocket. Today, the nobodies who made you rich are gonna win. Die, you son of a bitch. <shoots the bad guy> I can't understand how he didn't get an Oscar for this scene.

Not nearly enough Jean-Claude Van Damme. The only one so far, I think, has been Street Fighter. What about Double Team? Hard Target? Timecop? Someone has to fix this.