Freja

So, no new RW ep this week hugLife, you need to start watching television. Chanson, my new favorite roommate is obviously Brian, Jennie's ex. He loves to pontificate and you can tell he really believes he's an intellectual giant of some kind. After I watched the last epi on MTV's website (the things I have to endure due to not owning a TV) the video automatically shifted into the RW Aftershow, wherein Jennie and Brian were bitching at each other in real time, indicating that some major shit is about to go down between them in future episodes b/c they're most def not on good terms. Color me shocked! These two seemed to have such a healthy, balanced relationship!

http://www.earwolf.com/episode/freaks-come-out-at-night/ Long live RSS.

Sorry I offended you, Chanson. I'm in the medical field so I sometimes forget that people are skeeved out by body-talk and forget what is and is not appropriate. Not that that's what we were even talking about... more like joking about The Bachelor, but whatever. I'll shut up now Been watching the new RW, too, per your recommendation. Holy shit! Some thoughts: Ashley was a next-level drunk and I fear for her safety... I hate Corey because in one of the early episodes he was clearly about to take advantage of her but then Jenny stumbled into his path and so he just slept with her instead. Thomas and Jamie are a weird couple and the way in which they became boyfriend-girlfriend was more childish than the time in 4th grade when this kid Stybjorn asked me out on a piece of paper that directed me to circle "yes" or "no" if I would be his girlfriend. The guy whose mother died doesn't seem too ripped up about it... I think he thinks the Real World is gonna be a career changer for him or something... but at this rate he isn't really much of a personality so it's doubtful he'll be called up to join The Challenge (the only foreseeable career path the Real World can launch you into, I guess...) Where's my purse?

I don't think I was living in America when Temptation Island came out so I can't speak on that. Sounds like a show my idiot brain would enjoy, though! The more educated I become, the more apt I am to try to override it with the shittiest reality TV imaginable. If Temptation Island had a bunch of uggos on it, I'd be even more intrigued. Since you mentioned my fertility, did you know that I'm named after the Norse goddess of fertility?! What are the odds. I hate being single.

Mr. Morris, 1. On your television show you've portrayed an overly attached cat owner. Do you love cats that much IRL? Do you think it would be ok for me to forego romantic prospects and just keep accumulating special-needs cats in my tiny apartment until I die a spinster death some 60 years from now? (I have 4 right now) 2. Who are your comedy inspirations (besides Hayes and Sean, obvi)? In other words, who keeps you loffing and loffing? Do you like loffing?

If Survivor could somehow incorporate dating show elements a la the Bachelor it'd basically be like ecstasy to me. But then again, one of the reasons why Survivor is so great is that it DOESN'T just cast hot model types who live in LA and "want to pursue acting", nor does it emphasize fake love angles and bungee jumping representing "the start of a relationship". I love seeing homely weirdos sharing tents and competing in physical challenges. But then as an unmarried 26 year-old female just coming off a shitty breakup I can't resist the sweet siren song of The Bachelor despite knowing it's all fake and unrealistic and no one will ever take me on a date to Antigua and ask me how many children I want to have 15 minutes into knowing them. Oh and this is reminding me of something. Did you guys know that Survivor actually started in Sweden? It was called "Expedition Robinson". I've been watching this shit since I was wee lass... Anyhow, I distinctly remember that they incorporated love angles into the show. 2 tribes were separated, and every season they would force someone on the tribe to send a date card aka "message in a bottle" to a member of the opposing tribe. Then they'd have some ridiculous date on the island. I forget the rest.

Will an episode ever go by where Hayes + Sean DON'T mention huge male genitalia? I hope not! Chanson, plz report back on how much pow you shredded. I found a pair of XC skis in a dumpster last week (ok, I was living in it) and tried 'em out this weekend. But anyways... SPORT HEADS, YOU N' ME. ALWAYS. (trying to form bonds on this forum, even if it means talking about my garbage skis... is it working?)

A while back MTV had a week-long marathon where they just aired old RW seasons 24/7 and so I've seen some of the older seasons (none of the newer ones except for--OF COURSE--The Challenge). So I saw RW Seattle and it's so freaking good! It was Stephen who slapped sassy-mouthed and Lyme Disease-stricken Irene. David was the one who snuck away to the phone booth to call his forbidden lover Kira, the casting director who put him on the show, and screamed "Love me, Kira! IT KILLS ME KIRA! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!!". Thank you for my sexual awakening, David! 'preeshiate it! Anyways, this season was the best because they were all fairly intelligent (relatively speaking), went to good schools and weren't gross assholes who spent all their time in the hot tub like all the other casts would do after them.

Chanson! Come to the dead RSS forum with me and speak on shitty reality shows! RSS 4EVAH. I think hugLife has tentatively agreed to discuss reality shows with me but I can't tell for certain...? Or I can pull a greggy and just start posting things to myself. (Love you, greggy)

I legit wish this was still an active forum because I wanna talk about all the shittastic reality shows I'm obsessed with. Helllooooooo the trainwreck season of the Bachelor just started and I need people to hate-watch it along with me. I still am having trouble coping with the loss of the RSS in my life. hugLife, I'll talk to you all day long about Shamar's weird bravado and Brandon Hantz's mental instability.... Nm, no one will ever see this post.

Hummus= ambrosia. I'm a shy person, but I'd get on a stage and improv all day long if it was 4 hummus. Thank you for reminding me of hummus so I can go make it now in my crappy margarita blender. ... oh and great ep as always! I hope B-Husk makes a repeat appearance. If I were still a teen I'd prob have a crush on Teen Pope. Luv dem bad boyz

I went for a run today so I'm kind of a sportshead myself. Didn't take pics of it though because I'm pretty humble n' stuff. Can you tell your team to stop hogging all the Hard Knocks seasons? Thanks!

BRR II: I'm 5'7" tall but 5'9" wide. I like to eat. burdulz: Didn't see you outside my window in Stockholm. Maybe because I currently live in the U.S. and can only go back to Sweden in the summers and Christmas for school vacation. But yes, friendsies. Ok sooo I feel bad that I hijacked the forum with my Swedishness. It's not that interesting, I promise. Change of topic-- I just saw Hayes' question and I think the answer is the abortion song by Ben Folds. Brick? Another topic up for discussion is the fact that I want to Single White Female Valerie Bryant after hearing her Holiday Medley (got to it a bit late). In a non-murderous way, of course. Any tips on how I can become more VB-ish?

(I swore I'd never talk to you again, burdrulz, but here goes...) It's a pretty accurate stereotype! We didn't have one growing up but we were poor farmers and stuff. Many of my friends had saunas, though. And we were made to sauna together after every gym class in school. Naked. I'm serious. (Boy/girl separation, though). A big tradition in our culture is to run out in the snow naked, roll around, and then run back inside in the sauna. They didn't make us do that in school, though.

Hi. Swede here. At first I was like "uhhh not even gonna touch that post" because us Swedes are the bigger people in the Swedish-Dane relations. And by bigger people I mean we pummeled their asses in the Northern Wars. And we beat them in the national football competition like every year (serious stuff). Their language sounds gutteral-- like they have phlegm in their throat (cough it up, guys, jeez!) My dad almost got hit by a bus outside Tivoli once so that goes to prove that the Danes don't care about public safety. Hmm let's see what else... The Danish monarchy is boring as all hell compared to ours. Our king regularly visits underground whorehouses and strip clubs, our prince is shacked up with a former Big Brother contestant (shout out to the RSS heads!), our crown princess married her personal trainer following a long term stay in an inpatient mental hospital for bulimia, and the remaining princess was cheated on by her fiance with a Norwegian pinup model in a hot tub. Now she's married to an American businessman and everyone in Sweden hates her because she lives in Manhattan and our Swedish taxes basically pay for her apartment and all her lavish travels and she never even comes back to visit her home country. The nerve! Again, because I'm a bigger person, I will say that the Danes have great beer and butter and I may or may not take the ferry to Copenhagen once or twice a year, BUT THAT'S IT. But I digress.... Sorry, Chanson, you struck a nerve.... ETA: WE HAVE REINDEER. NEED I SAY MORE??!!

You must be pissed I never called you back after our night together since I thought we agreed we were going to keep our "meeting" a secret from the HH forum. Nice try putting me on blast here, bud, but it's not gonna work. P.S. I bathe in lavender-laced donkey milk every fucking day just like Cleopatra did. No incentive needed. Freja out.

Not falling for this hoax again. No sir. "There's an old saying in Tennessee-- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-- that says, fool me once, shame on-- shame on you. Fool me... you can't get fooled again."

Jake, if you were stranded on a desert island and had to have one other Hollywood star on the island with you for the rest of your days, who would it be and why? Brooke Shields or a volleyball are not acceptable answers.

Ok, so I'm super excited about Mike Schwalter's new podcast since it's cat-centric and I'm a cat-and-fun-loving person. I think I'm going to really like his show. Judging by the recent outpouring of cat love on this forum, I suspect I'm not alone. I wonder if Hayes and Sean took this into account before inviting Schwalter onto the podcast. Aren't they concerned we might desert them for greener cat-filled pastures??! And now with Hayes dealing with his butt injuries and resisting treatment... I dunno, I just worry that their p-cast won't be up to par... I guess I'll have to wait and see.

#prayersforhayes In 50 years I'll be telling my grandkids where I was and what I was doing the moment I found out Hayes busted his butt implant. Never forget.

RIP, Biscuit! I bet she's chasing mice and eating tuna filets up in kitty heaven. Letting go of a pet is the absolute worst. Have you considered getting another one to fill the void? I just adopted a hot mess of a cat; blind, deaf, strokey-looking face due to a botched ear abscess surgery and FIV-positive. But he's a total sweetheart.

What do you think I should change it to?? Something American and wholesome? Doris maybe? (as in Doris Day obvi). Growing up on a tomato farm in Sweden with a fucking sound for a name didn't exactly set me up for Hollywood greatness. Man, my parents really screwed the pooch on this one. Until I find a better name that's not a sound, I'm going into hiding-->

I'm having a bit of an identity crisis over here. I've spent the last day hiding in a blanket cave due to my feelings of shame over what transpired on the podcast. D-man made me realize that I've spent 20+ years identifying myself by what I thought was a name but was really just a sound. Gee, thanks mom and dad!! Then to add to the embarrassment, the last 3 words of my question were "for each topping" like the f-ing dumdum that I am! Dammit! I just can't get this Hollywood (or forum) thing right. I guess I'm just grateful for people like toby keith sweat for setting a good example for me to aspire to. We all saw D-man's Cupcake Wars appearance but did any of us think to ask about it? NO! Only toby keith sweat did because that's the type of pro he is. God bless you, tks!!!

Damien, can you describe your favorite pizza and provide rationales for each topping?

I don't appreciate how Ellie tried to downplay how crucial her game night appearance was to her achieving fortune and fame in Hollywood. It's obvious she doesn't want the rest of us to have the same opportunities as her. Sean and Hayes are breaking their f-ing backs to give us amazing insider tips here but Ellie was just being selfish. Ellie, if you're reading this (and I know you are) just know that I'm brushing up on my Apples to Apples skills, my mouth foaming as I use guided imagery to envision myself destroying you at the next Hollywood Game Night. I will make it in Hollywood. I WILL. Ok, so I may be Swedish and have no discernible interests or talents related to show business but that doesn't mean I won't make it!