boardsandrec.com

Boys rule and girls drool. So sayeth I, the creepy dentist.

It's Adam and Eve, not Madame and Steve. Steve ain't sharing no ribs with some puppet.

I don't care what my wife misheard; the marriage counselor said I have to master the Fart of Seduction.

Like a deer in the headlights, I was in the deer's headlights. It was Earth all along!

They all ran after the farmer's wife, who cut off their tails with a carving knife. Did you ever see such a sight in your life, as three blind Steve Buscemi's with tails.

If you're going to cross a street, instead of looking both ways why not just look into the future to see how you'll die?

As Aladdin looked at the initials W.W.J.D on his wrist, he knew the next best thing would be to wish for more fishes.

If you can't beat me, join me in a toast of poison, for I am Satan

Welcome to another edition of Progressive Animaniacs.

I'd like to see less Johnny Appleseeds and more Obama No Pants

And there were no Survivors; making it the worst Thursday night of my life!

The squeaky wheel gets the oil. You heard me Al Qaeda

If you ever find the fountain of youth, I hope your wish is for a clean-shaven penny, cause that's what you're getting

You can either marry the right person or Maury the wrong, but does anyone knock around here anymore?