MondayCity

I am sad that the world will never get to see "Ernest Gump." It could have been JV's Oscar bid. I know I would have liked it better than the original.

All hail Robot Magnus Fighter, the visionary who started this thread on April 19, 2013. RMF, please tell us what it feels like to know that you started this massive thread and that your dream of an LOL ep is about to be realized.

I kinda feel like we should defer to jarrycanada about Christmas movies, because he probably lives closer to the North Pole than most of the rest of us.

Technically, it's a comedy if it has a happy ending; but, if you don't laugh, it's probably not a funny comedy.

In the "Jingle All The Way" episode, Paul cites Variety as saying that Schwarzenegger has the comic sense of a dead moose (or dead mousse or something like that). This raises the question, "Who is the better comic actor, Schwarzenegger or Stallone?"--if better is the proper word. Schwarzenegger has the advantage because he has a funny accent--at least, it is funny to this childish lifelong resident of the US--and because he usually plays it straight (i.e., his character is not trying to be funny). Stallone would be better if he played serious dumb, instead of winking dumb or wisecracking. I have to admit that I laugh every time I hear Arnie say "I'm not a pervert!" or "Stop eating my cookies!"

Who got cast in the part of the monkey?

"One Magic Christmas," in which the main character's husband loses his job, then he gets killed in a robbery, then her kids are abducted and killed, and Harry Dean Stanton plays an angel. Oh yeah, this is by Disney and it's rated G. This is a kids' Christmas movie! HTFDTGM?

Not little people. Tiny people. Like HISTK tiny people. Although, maybe a baby...

If you are making an HDTGM soundboard, please grab Paul's "meanwhile" at 48:05 in this episode. His voiced cracked on the word and put it up into a register usually available only to tiny people and Minnie Riperton. It sounds like he squeezed a Leprechaun. I want it for my ringtone.

I know. I could make a robust list of horrible movies that have stellar ratings. For what it is worth, Vincent Canby hated "Sneakers," and Ebert gave it 2.5 stars. I think people are lulled by the great cast, but read the plot summary on Wiki, and it just sounds ridiculous.

I don't agree that "Sneakers" was a good movie. I remember it as being the kind of bad movie that makes you angry because it insults your intelligence--cutesy and cliché-ridden, with a dumb story and plot holes you could sneak a truck through. Watch it again and count how many times you have a thought that starts with the words, "As if..."

I love when Jason berates an audience member. That may be the best thing about the live shows.

On his IMDB page, Ron Liebman (who plays Freddie Ugo in "Rhinestone") is quoted as saying (in 2011): "To be rigorously honest with you, the script that I was sent was not the script that we wound up shooting, much to my chagrin. The script that I was sent was rather funny." [Liebman's quote would be great, even if he stopped there, but he continues and puts a finer point on it.] "The script when I got there, I think Sylvester Stallone had rewritten it, and it was no longer the script I had signed for." Wait, you "think" Stallone had rewritten it? Come on, Kaz, you know that it was Stallone who fucked up the script. I thought we were being "rigorously honest" here.

The part of Cujo was played by two children in a dog costume. I trained those kids, and I'm really proud of it. However, the film was based on a true story about a dog that was a total prick in real life.

must turd, even Bob Stone on the TV. SlidePocket, Sharon Stone would top the list (in no particular order). But Lerini, I have to draw the line somewhere, and I think that line is Oliver Stone. "Rhinestone" or Oliver Stone? Man, that's a defining question. If you're truly honest with yourself, would you "Rhinestone" or Oliver Stone? (By the way, now that I've typed it a couple of times, the word "rhinestone" looks really weird to me.) Thank you for leaving no stone unturned. (Damn it, I promised myself that I would not type that--or that I would type it and then delete it before I posted this.) (Did I?) (No. Damn it. Sorry.)

Ugh, "Rhinestone." The following are stones I would rather watch, in no particular order: Rolling, Sly and the Family, Gall, Kidney, Henge, Cobble, and the tombstone of George Johnstone Stoney (1826-1911).

Yeah, thanks, KajusX. See, what you have there is a wide awake nightmare.

I counted 6 monkeys, 2 muppets, a marionette, 3 animatronics, and at least one Olsen twin playing the part of Ella, and yes, I am afraid of all of them. Hey, I saw "Magic" in high school, and I am still convinced that ventriloquist dummies are pure evil.

Omission: Why didn't Geoff bring a net to catch the monkey in the last scene? Presumably his lab is equipped with safe and simple implements, such as a net and sedatives, for catching monkeys that get loose and act hostile. Why introduce a couple of syringes of poison into a house dominated by a psychic killer monkey, when a harmless net would do the trick?

Omission: What really happened to the nurse? Can we agree that the mother killed her, stuffed her body in the trunk of the nurse's car, and sunk it in a pond? The scene was deleted because it made the mother too sympathetic.

On the theme of names: The monkey was named "Ella" like "Cinderella", because she does all the chores and she has an evil stepmom (Mom) and two evil step sisters (Nurse Wretched and Clinical Cunt) and she just wants to get with Prince Charming Law Student. The Tucc was named Dr. Wiseman, as in "wise man", which we can safely say was intended ironically and could easily seem subtle under the influence of a bottle of vodka.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, Variety called "Mokey Shines", "A befuddled story about a man constrained from the neck down told by a director confused from the neck up." Oooh snaps. Is Variety implying that the director needed a helper monkey too? Would it be ok with June to give a monkey an AD credit? Hell, this could have been directed by a team of monkeys. Give the whole group a credit. Imagine years later, a bitter George Romero says, "I didn't want a happy ending, but the goddam helper monkeys shot some extra scenes and recut the movie while I was in Europe. Those fuuucking, cocksucking pieces of garbage!"

Omission: I think there was a missing scene in which Geoff's assistant, Eyegore, admits that the brain cells they are injecting into the monkey came from a girl named, "Abby Normal."

Excellent episode! The horror film episodes are definitely my favorites. Please do more. This one was "off the chain!"

Why was she allowed to just quit? I had her pegged as a redshirt from the first time she opened her mouth.