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Everything posted by BenjaminW.Piehler

  1. For your consideration... A slasher film where a Santa is the killer (released on November 9?). A distant relative of mine actually played Killer Santa in this film. He is legitimately kind of nuts so I doubt you'd want him on the podcast though. I actually haven't seen it, but by watching the trailer I think it would be perfect, especially this time of year. There are some great kills. (I like Santa hanging someone w/ christmas lights). I believe the movie is on youtube in its entirety. Trailer: Per IMDB, the plot is "A young boy watches his parents killed by a thief in a Santa suit. He spends his youth in an orphanage, staying quietly to his self, but his mind is further bent by an ironhanded Mother Superior (I'm interested in June's diagnosis of the mom). He finally gets a job at a local store, where he finally snaps when he is required to wear a Santa suit, and goes on a killing spree that leads him slowly back to the orphanage." Also per IMDB: Plot keywords (in this order): orphanage. sex. mother. santa suit. boy.
  2. BenjaminW.Piehler

    My Boss's Daughter (2003)

    For your consideration, My Boss's Daughter. This one may be too awful... but it might make a great HDTGM episode. I saw this "romantic"-"comedy" on a date in high school, and we absolutely hated it. It is completely delirious. Ashton Kutcher plays a nice guy seeking his big career break while working under a tyrannical boss (Terence Stamp) at a publishing company. He's also interested in the bosses daughter (Tara Reid). Ashton gets his chance to impress his boss and Tara when he offers to house-sit the boss's manor for a night. Naturally a series of completely unbelievable coincidences, misunderstandings and random events (such as the boss's pet owl escaping and consuming toilet water laced with drugs) leave Ashton struggling to hide from the oblivious Tara what a disaster the night has become. Not a single character really comes of as human or relate-able. In the vein of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" there is a scene where Tara feels safe performing a striptease for Ashton because she believes he is gay. (Has that ever happened?) I think delirious is the best way to describe it as there is so much crazy happening and all the characters just roll with it. Its gross; its potentially offensive. There are a few supporting actors who struggle though this film as well. Andy Richtor arrives as Tara's delinquent brother on the run from drug dealers and at one point shows his bare ass. Carmen Electra shows up in a wet t-shirt. I think Keenan from "Keenan and Kel" attempts suicide, if I recall correctly. Molly Shannon as the butt of a joke making fun of spousal abuse. Don't worry, there's room for jokes targeting the handicapped and mentally ill as well. It did awful in theaters and was almost universally hated by critics (for whom the film was not screened in advance). Here are a few of the more amusing quotes from top critics found on Rotten Tomatoes.. -"Even after sitting through it you can't swear you've seen it. It vanishes while you watch, like disappearing ink." -"Mr. Kutcher's comic style is a series of disbelieving blinks and flinches that make him look like a newly hatched ostrich still getting acclimated to his long legs and neck." -"With [Kutcher and Reid] as the star-crossed couple, the title of this movie should have been Zero Plus Zero Equals Zero." -"Three year old brain-dead variant of Risky Business" -"Zucker directs this mess like a substitute teacher soldiering through a day's work for a day's pay at a decertified school."
  3. BenjaminW.Piehler

    I, Frankenstein (2014)

    "'I, Frankenstein': NOT the worst movie ever" http://entertainment...ever/?hpt=hp_t3
  4. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Cool World (1992)

    I've never seen this, but when I was a kid my younger sister and my mom rented this and watched it together. They hated it so much they demanded their money back from Blockbuster... who actually gave them a refund.
  5. BenjaminW.Piehler

    National Treasure

    I dunno, there are alot of Nick Cage movies where he freaks out more... 8mm comes to mind
  6. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Chicago Shows?

    Any plans for a Chicago show in the future? We like bad movies in the Midwest too!
  7. BenjaminW.Piehler

    World War Z

    I honestly didn't even find the book that great.
  8. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Episode 80 — Jack Frost: LIVE!

  9. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Episode 80 — Jack Frost: LIVE!

    Killer Jack Frost appears to be an astronaut with a full body cast...
  10. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Episode 80 — Jack Frost: LIVE!

    God made flamingos and toast and stuff... You just made a shitty movie in that world.
  11. BenjaminW.Piehler


  12. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Stealing Harvard

    I did chuckle in retrospect seeing Martin Starr as the shotgun wielding convenience store clerk. But yeah, Tom Green went to "movie jail" after this for good reason... one of his films could make a good episode though.
  13. BenjaminW.Piehler

    Stealing Harvard

    Ugh. Awful movie.
  14. BenjaminW.Piehler


    Kinda late to the party but...