Olive_Duster

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December 16, 2013
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December 6, 2020

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Everything posted by Olive_Duster

I bet if I were really in to Pokémon, my dream vacation would be two weeks in Machu Pikachu.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 13, 2020
It's cold and flu season and you know what that means. Giraffes are bulk buying throat lozenges again.

Olive_Duster replied to SideofMcG's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Did you know that while giraffe’s necks are 26-28 times longer than that of an adult human, their throats are actually only twice as long?
- October 13, 2020
- 1 reply
If children are the future, why are mine here right now?

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 13, 2020
The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go. Now, let’s rake up those dead things into a pile and jump on ‘em for fun!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 8, 2020
If I’m elected, I will stack the Supreme Court - with supreme courtesans! Let’s get this party started, America!!!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 8, 2020
Sleep, those little slices of death - how I loathe them. Toast points, those little slices of bread - how I loaf them.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 stole 6’s bicycle, the jerk!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
Excuse me. Do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, friend, practice. Practice reading maps. The city is basically a grid. Shouldn’t be this hard, kid.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
They always talk about how even a broken clock is right twice a day, but they always conveniently fail to mention that the same broken clock is wrong at least 3 times a day!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
I first thought ‘cancel culture’ was something a doctor might say; now I know it’s just a new kind of diet yogurt.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
Whenever I think about corn, I worry that my Dad was right - maybe I do have “shit for brains.”

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
I’d rather have a two pump chump than a two term Trump so make with that cum dump so I have more time to stump...for Biden, baby!!!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
Have you ever gone hunting with a bowl and spoon? How can you aim your gun with all that weed and heroin in your system?

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 7, 2020
I’m an eternal optimist. I don’t go behind the local Applebee’s to rummage around for my dinner in a garbage can’t!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

Olive_Duster replied to Tough Shit Elliot's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

This is just great. Well done.
- October 6, 2020
- 1 reply
Nobody ever asks WHY-bastank

Olive_Duster replied to honkyray's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I think someone said this on Fat Albert once...
- October 6, 2020
- 3 replies
I need a girl who's a shark in the streets and I have no other parameters.

Olive_Duster replied to Fiendish Dr. Wu Tang's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

This made me laugh.
- October 6, 2020
- 1 reply
Extra! Extra! RIval newspaper fires copy editor after failing to spot superfluous “extra” in bungled headline!

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
The other day, I bought a thing of "rain-scented" dish soap because I thought it would be nice if all of my glasses and plates smelled like wet dirt.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
My physician always complains that he can’t get anyone to rent the condo he owns. If you ask me, he’s a real “doctor without boarders.”

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
Eating fruit leather is a lot like having sex. When it’s good, it’s great and when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Plus, both involve massive amounts of fruit leather.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
I don’t know why I used to worry that my penis was too small. In my personal experience, women are fine with a small penis. It’s the constant sobbing they can’t stand.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman book high-profile guests on his podcast?

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
Be honest. Does this excess adipose tissue make my ass look fat?

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 6, 2020
I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I merely gave her a book of poetry after I crammed a cigar up her cooch. It was totally above board, almost clinical, really.

Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

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- October 5, 2020

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Olive_Duster

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Everything posted by Olive_Duster

I bet if I were really in to Pokémon, my dream vacation would be two weeks in Machu Pikachu.

It's cold and flu season and you know what that means. Giraffes are bulk buying throat lozenges again.

If children are the future, why are mine here right now?

The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go. Now, let’s rake up those dead things into a pile and jump on ‘em for fun!

If I’m elected, I will stack the Supreme Court - with supreme courtesans! Let’s get this party started, America!!!

Sleep, those little slices of death - how I loathe them. Toast points, those little slices of bread - how I loaf them.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 stole 6’s bicycle, the jerk!

Excuse me. Do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, friend, practice. Practice reading maps. The city is basically a grid. Shouldn’t be this hard, kid.

They always talk about how even a broken clock is right twice a day, but they always conveniently fail to mention that the same broken clock is wrong at least 3 times a day!

I first thought ‘cancel culture’ was something a doctor might say; now I know it’s just a new kind of diet yogurt.

Whenever I think about corn, I worry that my Dad was right - maybe I do have “shit for brains.”

I’d rather have a two pump chump than a two term Trump so make with that cum dump so I have more time to stump...for Biden, baby!!!

Have you ever gone hunting with a bowl and spoon? How can you aim your gun with all that weed and heroin in your system?

I’m an eternal optimist. I don’t go behind the local Applebee’s to rummage around for my dinner in a garbage can’t!

We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

Nobody ever asks WHY-bastank

I need a girl who's a shark in the streets and I have no other parameters.

Extra! Extra! RIval newspaper fires copy editor after failing to spot superfluous “extra” in bungled headline!

The other day, I bought a thing of "rain-scented" dish soap because I thought it would be nice if all of my glasses and plates smelled like wet dirt.

My physician always complains that he can’t get anyone to rent the condo he owns. If you ask me, he’s a real “doctor without boarders.”

Eating fruit leather is a lot like having sex. When it’s good, it’s great and when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Plus, both involve massive amounts of fruit leather.

I don’t know why I used to worry that my penis was too small. In my personal experience, women are fine with a small penis. It’s the constant sobbing they can’t stand.

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman book high-profile guests on his podcast?

Be honest. Does this excess adipose tissue make my ass look fat?

I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I merely gave her a book of poetry after I crammed a cigar up her cooch. It was totally above board, almost clinical, really.

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