Olive_Duster
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Everything posted by Olive_Duster
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I need to teach my son a serious life lesson, but Iâm doing it with a limerick to keep it lighthearted. I just need a word that rhymes with âNantucketâ and one that rhymes with âand thatâs why you should never jerk off in a Best Buy bathroom stall.â
Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Why would I ever eat fruit thatâs been by somebodyâs foot?
Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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The only way Iâm getting fired is if they find a dead girl in my basement or a live boy in my bed....Actually, Iâd probably have to take at least a leave of absence if they find a dead boy in my basement. On second thought, any boy or girl, alive or dead,
Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Found in my residence might pose a problem for me with regards to my employment status. -
Iâm elastic and youâre adhesive so your malicious invectives rebound off my reflexive husk and affix themselves to your mucilaginous facade.
Olive_Duster replied to Colfax McLiverneck's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
This made me laugh.... -
Losing a golf club at a golf club is the ultimate humiliation.
Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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In an effort to help my daughter cope with the struggles of puberty, I decided to re-watch The English Patient, Apocalypse Now, Queen Victoria, Pride and Prejudice, and a whole bunch of other period pieces.
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I'm all for this whole 'girl power' thing if it means my wife and daughter will feel more confident and proud of themselves when they make my sandwiches.
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God is good, God is great, sure. But have you tried Taco Bell's new Burrito Bowl? It's the real deal.
Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
God is good, God is great, sure. But have you tried Taco Bell's new Burrito Bowl? It's the real deal. -
In Jazz History class, itâs the notes youâre NOT taking.
Olive_Duster posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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When Stanley is forced to hack into the Department of Defenseâs system with a gun to his head, he is simultaneously being fellated by one of Soul Patchâs bimbos, apparently to completion. The only problem with this is that men only achieve an erection when the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, the branch of the autonomic nervous system associated with relaxation. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the âfight or flightâ response which would be activated when the gun was put to his head. These two branches of the autonomic nervous system cannot be activated simultaneously and, therefore, I must conclude that Stanley has to be either faking an orgasm or faking his fear. I like to think he was somehow in cohoots with the blonde bimbo whom he met in the yet-to-be-made prequel, âHammerheadâ, which focuses on his obsessive investigation into Hollyâs step-father, the porn producer. Also, why did wardrobe dress Holly like she was the understudy for Rhoda?
