Dale Cooper Black

Breaking news: Scott Weiland has been fired from the rock supergroup in Heaven

I got 100% on my IQ test

Dr. Who's the Boss?

I'm not one for predictions, but... I think we have a winner here

He's the Schwing-o Kid

You spelled "medicine" wrong, you twit! No wonder you're homeless

I thought Colfax McLiverneck had this market "corn"-ered

That's no lady, that's my wi-fi

Forrest HUMP, more like

Most folks 'round here worked at th' old puppy mill but they closed it down back in aught six due to th' globalization of th' puppy industry, I reckon

That is some fine detective work, milady. I tip my deerstalker cap to thee

Too soon?

Check out Kenny Baker's new podcast, R2D2 Talkin' U2 to Me

Their older material is much better than their recent stuff

Just realized I've been spelling it wrong, too

I know, this is similar to one I submitted yesterday

Here's a tip for keeping those bullies away: poop your pants. They hate the smell!

I scream, you scream, we all scream for dumps

Recycling tip: If your catchphrase doesn't make it onto the podcast, you can re-use it at the New Yorker Caption Contest

The great catchphrase drought enters its 14th week

Not to get all political here, but I'm pretty cheesed off that the stewardess ran out of dinner rolls before I got any

War, huh, good god y'all, what is it good for? Oh yeah, the enrichment of the military industrial complex, I forgot

For future reference, don't scratch your balls during the moment of silence

If life hands you lemons, tell life to go fuck itself

How 'bout a little love for all the Nong ladies out there?