Dale Cooper Black

Objection, your honor. I didn't say my client had just cause, I said he did it just 'cuz

You scratch my Back to the Future, and I'll scratch yours

Can you imagine if you woke up on New Year's Day and it was 1985? That actually happened to me once

This is the story of a ragtag little league team, and the coach who taught them that sometimes dreams do come true. And then everyone got old and died

A sword swallower is dead after colliding with a bus carrying a group of circus sideshow performers, in what can only be described as a random mishap

The Great Catchphrase Drought of 2015 continues

Check out my Spinal Tap tribute band, Lumbar Puncture

They'll have to pry it from my cold, dead Hans and Franz

Once again I'd like to apologize to everybody about last week's "hump day" incident, especially the cleaning staff

Serve it at 6 degrees above room temperature

Global Tele? Or God Loves Bacon Lettuce and Tomato?

Still trying to get this right http://forum.earwolf...ight-have-been/

On Christmas morning in 1995, I got a 12-inch Woody... and I'm not talking about the doll from Toy Story

Only 17 more sleeps until best of 2015!

Murder, She Farted

There's a lot of armchair Nickelbacks out there

If you need to figure out whether or not someone is a Gypsy, perform a "you might be a Gypsy if..." comedy routine for them and observe their reaction

That'll do, Tig. That'll do.

Strap on your adult diaper, it's time to start the "Real Rob" marathon

You keep saying "they can't all be gems," but that sounds odd coming from a dealer of rare gems

Traffic was very heavy today, so I switched my car to airplane mode

You scratch my Vic Tayback, and I'll scratch yours

Is Sasquatch breaking into your house and eating all your Wild Berry Skittles? Find out at 11

And then a few days later he's all like, surprise, bitchez. #classicjesus

Go Go Gadget Fleshlight!