Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

Dale Cooper Black

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    1303

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Topics posted by Dale Cooper Black

  1.  

    I misunderstood a sex tip from the internet, and now everyone's asking why my cat has no fur

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 309 views
  2.  

    After years of speech therapy I'm proud to say I finally got rid of my stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stuh-stupid speech therapist

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 427 views
  3.  

    Despite what you may have read on the internet, Albert Einstein never actually uttered the phrase "what's up, hotdog"

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 336 views
  4.  

    You can't get what you want in life without making some sacrifices to Khonsu the moon god

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 372 views
  5.  

    For childless couples, dogs and cats can provide a great alternative when it comes to making ritual sacrifices

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 369 views
  6.  

    Fun fact: If Jesus hadn't been crucified, he'd be dead by now of natural causes anyway

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 330 views
  7.  

    Like most kids, I was confused and embarrassed when I walked in on my parents having sex with a horse

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 285 views
  8.  

    FaceTime is just TacoTime with faces instead of tacos, right?

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 322 views
  9.  

    My tattoo artist didn't clean his equipment, so now I've got pus coming literally out the yin yang

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 317 views
  10.  

    I've heard of Dennis King, but LARRY King?? I wonder if he's related to my next door neighbor, Dennis King

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 283 views
  11.  

    I hate to break this to everybody, but you're all just a bunch of background characters in my novel about the first vampire president

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 305 views
  12.  

    There will be a slight delay in filming because Adam Driver's driver's driver's license is expired

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 302 views
  13.  

    I'll hold off on seeing the new Ghostbusters until Joey Lawrence weighs in with his take

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 312 views
  14.  

    Yes, let's build a wall between the US and Mexico, and let's put one up around Joey Lawrence while we're at it

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 303 views
  15.  

    The last time I went to Disneyland, they kicked me out for wearing my screen-accurate Donald Duck costume

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 301 views
  16.  

    Jesus covered his eyes while I changed my clothes, but I think he was peeking thru his stigmata

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 315 views
  17.  

    I wasn't sure I'd be able to free myself when my penis got stuck in that crevasse, but I managed to pull it off

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 329 views
  18.  

    No, I don't know what that smell is. What do I look like, Nostril-damus?

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 291 views
  19.  

    If I seem excited, it's only because I finally earned my merit badge in lancing from the Boil Scouts of America

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 285 views
  20.  

    There ought to be a disclaimer in Finding Dory clarifying that dirty mop water is not the preferred method for transporting tropical fish

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 325 views
  21.  

    I snatch purses and vice versa

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 306 views
  22.  

    Today I learned that President Garfield was not a wisecracking, lasagna-loving fat cat

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 302 views
  23.  

    First of all, I don't approve of these "ugly baby" contests and second of all, I don't understand why my taint was even eligible

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 312 views
  24.  

    I ain't afraid of no choad

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 362 views
  25.  

    Before inspiration struck, Neil Simon struggled with his first draft of The Odd Single

    By Dale Cooper Black, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 292 views
×