Blast Hardcheese

I'm hoping that they're saving this for episode 100. Every milestone deserves Showgirls. That's a saying, right?

They should just re-title this film The Amazing Money-Grab and be done with it. This movie is nothing more than tid-bits of fan service, staggering inexplicably from one scene to the next. I didn't get any of the character's motivations or what the over all end game of this movie was beyond the Gwen Stacey death scene gut-punch. Pure emotional manipulation without any of that messy story arc and pathos stuff. It's obvious Sony doesn't want to give the rights to Spider-Man back to Marvel, and instead is milking their cash-cow until it's dry. But do they have to make these movies in such a way that both panders to and show contempt for their audience?

"Okay guys, we're at the big finale where the player has decided to commit suicide after thinking he just shot and killed his brother and will hurl himself several stories off a building. Get ready to inflate the airbag and position it directlty under the glass ceiling he'll be crashing through, but will miraculously not break a single bone in his body (or even receive a life threatening cut or even a scrape). On my mark. Wait for it... Wait for it... Wait... For... It.... Now!!!" Oh, uh: SPOILER ALERT!!!

I love, love (((LOVE))) James Bonding! Can't recommend it enough.

The Fast and the Furious franchise. I can't believe that there was ever a time when I thought I was too good for these movies. What a fool I have been. Because of HDTGM, not only am I hooked on these films, but so is my wife. We can't wait for No. 7 to come out.

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, and it tasted like peanut butter! And I haven't eaten peanut butter in months!!!

I just watched the Stuart Murdoch-directed God Help the Girl. The lead actress, Emily Browning, looked very familiar to me, but I couldn't immediately place her. It wasn't until I IMDB'd her that I realized she played Babydoll in that godawful Sucker Punch "movie." Perhaps she's making amends for that Matrix-for-the-Maxim-douchebag dreck with this twee-gasmic charmer.

Four words: Directed by Stephen King. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggWS4tTzs60

This:

Oops! Sorry, Dan.

It has a surfboard-to-car chase sequence. C'mon!

This isn't so much a movie as it is punishment:

I saw this film two weekends ago with my wife, and while Snowpiercer isn't the worst movie we've ever seen, the ending left a lot to be desired. Not an awful film, just meh. I'd even go so far as to say "marginally good": a decent weekend watcher, especially if you, like me, enjoy dystopian sci-fi world-builders. The two biggest plot holes for me were: 1. Why build a super train with an engine that requires small children to keep it running? This seems like a very glaring flaw in the overall design of this technologically advanced locomotive. 2. Why, if they front passengers were so brutal and callous, would they continue to ferry all of the poor, seemingly useless tail section passengers? Why not keep just a few families (in order to farm their children for "engine duty") and jettison the rest of these people whom they have absolutely no regard for? It's like the elite front passengers aboard the train was begging for a revolution. I have to say, despite the absolutely clunky exposition ("Stude's notes," as June would say), I LOVED that classroom car scene. The actress playing the pregnant teacher made that bit. Also: the visual of a pregnant woman firing a machine gun and then getting a knife to the throat was marginally shocking and subversive. For an okay flick, that part really stayed with me.

More like Minimum Overdrive.

I agree, wholeheartedly. This film was practically made for HDTGM.

I loved Rik Mayall on The Young Ones, but I never understood the appeal of this movie. It came out when I was in high school and all of my friends were batshit in love with it. This film just seemed hyper-annoying and manically cloying. It has a very devoted fan base who will defend this movie with insane levels of rabid dedication. So, for these fans alone, this movie must be taken down like a foaming-at-the-mouth dog.

The title alone is HDTGM-worthy: Highlander: The Quickening?!?

Zouks was, as usual, absolutely hilarious! Conan would be an awesome get as a guest on HDTGM, btw.

Oh, the network that cancelled Community brought us this amazing new horse shit? Surprise, surprise.

I watched this movie because Jason Lee was in it. He was one of my favorite pro skateboarders back in the day, and his part in the Spike Lee-directed Blind: Video Days is still amazing all these years later: That being said, Dreamcatcher is absolute, Grade-A garbage. I remember aliens exploding out of a character's asshole, and I was done. This movie completely deserves the HDTGM treatment.

I just saw this post and it has totally made my day. Mazel tov, June and Jason! How lucky is this kid to grow up with two such wonderful and funny parents?

I know this movie would never, ever get reviewed on HDTGM given the connections to the Apatow universe Paul, June and Jason most likely have, but I would love to hear this crapfest of a film get the reaming it deserves. My wife practically begged me to watch this movie with her. After the last couple of self-indulgent Apatow features, I wasn't really looking forward to wasting time and an Amazon rental on another one. But, being married is all about compromise, so I relented. After this unbelievable snoozer was finished, my wife turned to me and said, "I'm really sorry for making you watch that." I'm almost 40 and I couldn't relate to this movie at all. I felt alienated from these characters and their "problems." The humor was lukewarm at best and I didn't care about anything that was going on on-screen ...at all. This movie might as well have been called "Issues You Wish You Had." Someone tell Apatow to hook-up with Paul Feig again and make a Freaks and Geeks reunion movie already. Because shit like This Is 40 ain't cutting it anymore.

I've sat through Eden Log. I've seen both G.I. Joe movies in the theater opening day. I watched Christmas With the Cranks just to see how truly maddening it is. The un-MST3K version of Mitchell? I've watched that from beginning to eye-bleeding end. I know what makes bad movies bad.

Evil Ernest. *Sigh!* Women always go for the bad boys. The fuckable, fuckable bad boys...

It's streaming on Netflix right now!