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Blast Hardcheese

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Blast Hardcheese last won the day on October 27 2018

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About Blast Hardcheese

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  • Birthday 02/14/1929

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  1. Blast Hardcheese

    The Apartment

    During this episode, Paul asks why The Apartment was never remade. It kind of was, actually: the movie Loser (2001) is a loose adaptation of The Apartment set on a NYC college campus. Jason Biggs plays the hapless, kindhearted “loser” who lends out the veterinary hospital he lives in (???) to curry favor with the hard-partying, pot smoking and womanizing hipster douche bags he wants so desperately to impress. Mena Suvari plays the Fran Kubelik analog while Greg Kinnear portrays a pretentious english professor in the Sheldrake mold who abuses his position of power in order to sleep with Suvari’s character, much to Bigg’s character’s heartbroken chagrin (sorry, I couldn’t remember any of the character’s names in this movie; like almost every remake, it’s not very good). There’s also Michael Showalter’s The Baxter, which is a spiritual cousin to The Apartment, and stars Showalter, Elizabeth Banks, Paul Rudd, Michelle Williams, Peter Dinklage, Justin Theroux, and most of the cast of The State.
  2. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 227 - Double Dragon: LIVE!

    I haven’t had a chance to listen to this episode prior to posting my comments here, but I had to get this all out while it’s still fresh in my mind. So, please accept my apologies if any of my observations are covered on the podcast. Okay, the thing I think I enjoyed the most about this movie was the blatant production rip-off elements “borrowed” from other movies. The humorous commercials and television news breaks to fill-in the narrative are blatant rip-offs of RoboCop‘s commercials and Media Break segments. Shoveling trash into the engine of the Dragon’s station wagon’s engine was a rip-off of Back to the Future, as were the UPC license plates (which were also used in RoboCop II). Post apocalyptic L.A. is a rip-off from Escape from L.A.* The movie had a TMNT vibe to it, and Abobo was kind of like a mutant rip-off of Bebop and/or Rocksteady. And while we’re at it, the station wagon itself was a “nod” to National Lampoon’s Vacation. Speaking of Abobo: during the chase scene at the beginning of the movie when he and his henchmen are chasing the Dragons through the streets of New Angeles, Abobo activates a joystick controller in his truck to zero-in on the Dragon’s after they use a map to obscure Abobo’s windshield. At one point, the henchmen slaps Abobo’s hand away from the joystick and takes over, saying, “You always sucked at video games.” Instead of looking easily angered or even dejected at this cutting remark, Abobo smiles back in this sexily sinister way at his flunky. The following shots are brief, but they are framed in just the right way to make it look like Abobo and his twink henchman are giving each other frantically joyous hand jobs. Why do good, well-meaning, but ultimately short-sighted tertiary characters always keep mystically powerful shit—that if it fell into the wrong hands could spell certain doom for us all—in the most easily obtainable and constantly needing-to-be-protected-at-all-time trinkets? Just Mordor that shit and get it over with already! *Correction: Escape From L.A. came out after Double Dragon. So it looks like that movie ripped this one off.
  3. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 226 - Body of Evidence: LIVE!

    Let’s just say all that quirkiness you see on the screen is steadily being sanitized away. If you told me Powell’s Books was getting bulldozed to make way for more lofts nobody I know can afford to live in, I wouldn’t be surprised.
  4. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 226 - Body of Evidence: LIVE!

    In my opinion, that remake stacks up against Body Heat or the 80's remake of Out of the Past called Against All Odds fairly well. Nowhere near as great as the original, but it's a prime example of the noir revival coming out of the 70's and early 80's. Noir is pretty cyclical that way; being revived every 10-15 years or so. I'm not a huge Ryan Johnson fan after Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but his debut, Brick, hit all of those noir notes perfectly, but in a new and inventive way. Have you seen The January Man starring Kevin Klein and Alan Rickman? It's not a great film (25% on RT!), but for a hard-boiled detective send-up, it's not half bad and at least it's trying to do something new. The "twist" ending has a real "why hadn't anyone done this up until now" moment. Again, not a great movie (oh, no), but the ending is a clever enough device. Also, if you haven't seen Fitz Lang's 1945 remake of 1931's La Chienne (The Bitch), Scarlett Street, I can't recommend this insanely bleak, convoluted and disturbing film enough. I'm pretty sure Scarlett Street alone inspired the Hayes Code. I'd love to see HDTGM review this film.
  5. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 226 - Body of Evidence: LIVE!

    Yeah, yeah. That show... We're all really fond of it around here and what it's done for our community. Romeo is Bleeding is pretty good, but the finale meanders a bit. Red Rock West came out in '93 and was a direct-to-video and cable release that caught a lot of buzz at TIFF that year. After a nudge from a San Francisco theater owner by the name of Bill Banning (who arranged for a select screening of the film), Tristar sent it out on a national art house tour. Another great neo-noir from this era is John Sayles' Lone Star, which has one of the most quietly fucked-up and "yeesh"-inducing twist endings in cinematic history. Speaking of my all-time favorite movie, Double Indemnity, have you seen the television remake from the 70's? It came with the two-DVD set a couple of years ago for some unfathomable reason, and is as fuckin' unintentionally hilarious as it is a gutless and hollow. The "speed limit" scene in this made-for-television disaster is HDTGM-worthy all on its own.
  6. Blast Hardcheese

    Thrashin' (1986)

    This, or Gleaming the Cube. Or both. Best line from this movie that June would enjoy: "Breakin' is a memory."
  7. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 226 - Body of Evidence: LIVE!

    As a Portlander, I have to say that I was a bit disappointed that for the live show here we got the perplexing 2:22 instead of Body of Evidence, a film produced during a particularly dismal era of movies shot or taking place in Portland (there was also Dr. Giggles, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues and The Temp... we did get Drug Store Cowboy, though, so it wasn't all bad during the '90's). Still, I'm glad this movie finally made it onto the Podcast. Okay, not to get all Bullitt chase scene on this film, but the opening bridge crossing scene was, from a local perspective ...interesting. One of Portland's nicknames is "Bridge City," as we have quite a few bridges linking the east and west sides of the city over the Willamette River. Towards the beginning of the film, we see Willem Defoe's character driving across the Fremont Bridge (a raised suspension bridge with these distinct triangle-shaped trusses) from the north/northeast going west into the city. That's all well and good, but then the very next shot shows him driving east across a two-way cantilever bridge which is named the Hawthorne Bridge, and is geographically four bridges southward from the Fremont Bridge. This scene is cut in a way to make it look like he's driving on the same bridge, but in reality he's essentially driving across one bridge and going through downtown to get to another bridge to go back almost in the direction he came from, and doing in a matter of seconds what Google maps approximates would take 15 minutes to accomplish (traffic permitting). Even odder still, it appears that, in an establishing scene, Defoe's character's law office is in Downtown Portland (located in the southwest section of the city), so why is he driving from the north/northeast area in the evening to get to the southeast section of the city? The 90's-era neo-noir with Linda Fiarntino Jason was trying to remember is The Last Seduction, and it is an underrated and amazing film. It's a must-see along with Red Rock West , A Simple Plan, Devil In a Blue Dress, and One False Move.
  8. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 224: Starcrash: LIVE!

    Damn! You beat me to it.
  9. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 224: Starcrash: LIVE!

    Did anyone else notice the turntable turbolift at the beginning of the film? In the pre-title sequence, we see two soldiers get out of the rounded conveyance and walk down a hall of their ship. As they exit, another soldier gets on the “turntable-lift,” it does a quarter turn and the soldier gets off to walk down another hallway. Wouldn’t it just be easier to tear out the “turntable lift” and install a corner in the hallway instead? The torpedoes with people inside remind me of the alien torpedo ships from Star Trek Beyond (another film that drew inspiration from Star Wars). The kit bashing on this film makes the Satellite of Love from MST3K look like 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  10. Blast Hardcheese

    HDTGM Drinking Game

    SIP: Any time June or Jason bring up Unspooled. DRINK: When they mention not being invited to be guests on Unspooled. CHUG: Paul skirts the issue of June and Jason not being invited on Unspooled.
  11. Blast Hardcheese

    HDTGM Drinking Game

    CHUG: Paul tells one of his Blockbuster glory days stories. (I’m still hoping/wishing/praying for the podcast, How Did We Get Scheer? where Paul relays one of his Blockbuster stories of yore to a different guest each episode.)
  12. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 222 - Unforgettable

    At the end of the movie, did David move his entire brewing operation up to San Francisco from Los Angeles? It wouldn't be unheard of, but Copper Mountain seems to be in its infancy as a company and moving the whole operation (office, the brewing tanks and hiring a whole new crew--unless his original staff moved up there with him) seems not only cost prohibitive at this stage in the game, but financially irresponsible as well. The final stinger of this film, where Tessa's mother, Lovey, pops in and Julia is all, like, "Great. Now I have to deal with this crazy bitch" doesn't hold even half as much weight as implied, if you think about it. Crazy though she may be, Lovey’s still just the grandmother. Julia is certainly more self-assured than David, but together they could still assert the ground rules in their own home and visitation with Lily when grandma comes a-callin'. Also, Julia's positive influence would ultimately negate Lovey's dysfunctional bullshit when she comes a-caliin' on occasion from out of town . Besides, what is ultimately in it for Lovey if she's on the crazy tip? Her daughter's dead and David is married to a new woman. The gravy train she was grooming for her daughter is over so what's the point in trying to crazy-up from here? Vengeance, maybe? But, I'm pretty sure, given her recent experience and age, Julia could easily take Lovey on (and out) if it came to down to it.
  13. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 222 - Unforgettable

    Being of the fairly left-leaning political persuasion, I can't help but chuckle at the "of course they do" irony of how con's are already established (or are becoming increasingly more involved) in an industry the right-wing has for so long regarded as a bastion of liberal elitism. Trump has his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Louise Linton is writing and directing movies and her hubby producer Steven Mnuchin has his thumbs is a plethora of Tinseltown pies (some in partnership with #hetoo Brett Ratner, no less!) Next time your drunk uncle or sister-in-law starts whining about how some "...damn Hollyweird libtard should shut their mouth about politics and stick to acting," hip them to the fact that the Secretary of the Treasury of these here divided states is pretty darned cozy with them elitist SJW cucks they claim to have so much disdain for. Not that facts mean anything anymore in this day and age, by hey, it's still a pretty solid snack to feed trolls. Anyhoo... At some point during this stress-inducing movie after she had been gas-lit for as long as she had, I was waiting for Julia to turn to David and just tell him that shit has gotten far too weird for her; that she's packing up her stuff, going back to San Francisco and ghosting his inattentive ass to "...think things over for a while." At one point, Ali, after presenting Julia with a paper trail of Tessa's past criminal transgressions (which, it should be noted, never again come into play, even when Julia is hauled off to the police department), even suggests that Julia goes back with her to San Francisco. I was screaming at my television, "YES! DO THAT! DO EXACTLY THAT!" Then, in the scene where Tessa flails herself down the stairway, David looks up at Julia with this "How could you?" look on his face. This dude doesn't have Julia's back at all. He's already asking Julia to step into this established life with him and his daughter, and when shit gets real, he's seemingly taking the side of the woman he divorced for a myriad of good reasons. Now, this movie is already women vs. woman enough, so we have to settle for the cards it's dealt us. But, it's really not too much to ask that David stand by Julia and at least listen to her side of the story, is it? That scene in the police station where the detective is acting all dead-to-rights is absolutely infuriating. It's 2017 and you can trace "Julia's" Facebook account access back to Tessa's IP address? Fuck you, movie! Lastly, I listened to the podcast before watching the movie and was under the assumption that, from the way Jason and June regarded it, Julia drove this sad little Ford Fiesta down to her new luxurious life L.A. From their reaction to it, I was envisioning some beat-up aqua marine-colored two-door deal from the early 90's, not the modern C Max version we see Julia driving in the film. While it's not the car I'd buy, I could see someone in the tech/online industry driving this fairly sporty, youthful-ish and affordable hatchback (and one that fits into the narrow and rare parking spaces found in San Francisco). It telegraphs her character pretty well. I mean David drives a BMW in this movie, and he is pretty much a douche, so...
  14. So, I may be mis-remembering this, but I seem to recall a line where, possibly during the climactic beat ‘em up scene, Deckard blames Brixton for killing Owen, or getting him killed. If so, that kinda sucks. I mean Jason Statham’s entry point into this franchise—his character’s little brother, Owen—essentially gets erased out of existence with a throwaway line of dialog. R.I.P. Owen Shaw, I guess... As much as I enjoyed the “chest math” that went into the scene where Hobbs and Shaw(s) escape in Deckard’s McClaren, I found it much more distressing that Hattie had to sit sandwiched between these two hulks in the cockpit of this fairly tight-quarters sports car. I’m typing this (slowly) on my iPad so I don’t even know how to include pictures of the interior of a McLaren 720c with this thing, but Google it and tell me if you think The Rock alone could fit comfortably inside one. Tall mentions Brixton’s Weyland Corp. tattoo, and I thought I saw it too when watching this movie. I agree with Tall that this film now exists inside a shared universe with the Alien franchise, but... I want to take this one step further and posit the theory that the producers of this film, in a methodical hyper-meta gambit, are gradually trying to systematically dissolve the walls between every film franchise in the world so that the F&F franchise can exist in pretty much any and every film franchise it wants to. I know this sounds slim, but hear me out: we have that Weyland Corporation tattoo, Deckard’s mention of using a Mini for an Italian Job, “Black Superman” (and the cut line about Brixton being the “black James Bond”), Ryan Reynold’s essentially playing Deadpool, Han is the same character from Better Luck Tomorrow, etc. Add to this... No, wait. I just watched Under the Silver Lake last night, and that film apparently really rubbed off on me. Sorry. Sorry. Moving on... Is Hobb’s daughter’s mother dead and was this already mentioned in a previous F&F film? Who took care of Hobb’s daughter when Hobb’s went out on missions/got imprisoned/beat asses like Cherokee drums in the previous films if he’s estranged from his extended family? I’m convinced that Brixton’s motorcycle is the love child of Bumblebee and KITT from Knight Rider. It’s a place I go to now. As much fun as this movie was, can we all just admit that nano-viruses are to action/spy movies what sky beams are to superhero movies? My biggest takeaway from this movie? That the application (or lack thereof) of make up is very important.
  15. Blast Hardcheese

    Episode 217 - Jaws 3-D

    Seriously?!? Their gear alone (air tanks, wet suits, inflatable raft, etc.) would have set them back way more than any profits netted from this score. "Florida Man Attempts to Steal $200 Worth of Coral, Eaten by Shark."