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Blast Hardcheese

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Everything posted by Blast Hardcheese

  1. Blast Hardcheese

    Ass Backwards

    I don't know about that. June was repping the movie when it came out, and did so in various episodes of HDTGM around the time it hit OnDemand. I don't think she feels the movie "...didn't go well."
  2. Blast Hardcheese

    EPISODE 115 — Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

    Well, if Germans know one thing, it's definitely comedy.
  3. Blast Hardcheese

    Southland Tales (2006)

    And now I'm racking my brain trying to think of other movies Jon Lovitz has been in.
  4. Blast Hardcheese

    Southland Tales (2006)

    Jon Lovitz plays a dirty cop with sneering 'tude and bleach blond hair in this movie. I mean, come on!
  5. Blast Hardcheese

    Vacation (2015)

    Naked Gun with Ed Helms is going to totally fuckin' blow. And you know they'll replace the fun and clever satirical zeal of the original films (and television show) with over-the-top gross-out gags, low hanging fruit observations and pandering bullshit.
  6. Blast Hardcheese

    The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

    June would L-O-V-E this movie.
  7. Blast Hardcheese

    Pixels (2015)

    Christ! Sandler is due for a merciless HDTGM beatdown.
  8. Blast Hardcheese

    EPISODE 114.5 — Minisode 114.5

    Ann Coulter plays the Vice President in this one. Which begs the question: How did Donald Trump not get elected President in this movie's universe?
  9. Blast Hardcheese

    Dreamcatcher (2003)

    These are literally the shittiest aliens in film history.
  10. Blast Hardcheese

    The Cobbler

    I really wish Sandler would drop his pretentions and make a movie where his character is an unlikable fuckhead, and all kinds of racist, homophobic and otherwise insulting shit happens around him. You know, something you can "turn your brain off" to.
  11. Blast Hardcheese

    Showgirls (1995)

    I'm surprised The Suicide Squad discussion from the Runaway thread hasn't spilled over onto the recommendation for this film.
  12. Blast Hardcheese

    EPISODE 114 — Runaway

    Holy Shit! I forgot about my favorite scene in Runaway: After the de-bugging scene, Ramsay and Thompson are putting Christie Alley in the back of the mannequin-driven squad car when the police mechanic walk over to say hey to Ramsay. He seems chummy enough, but Ramsay's not having it (not today), and tells the mechanic to definitely NOT touch the car (for fear of inadvertently contaminating it with more tracking bugs). Then the mechanic seems to go WAY out of his way in an attempt to touch the hood of the car. Ramsay yells at the mechanic to get the fuck away from the car, and the mechanic slinks off all butt hurt. I like to imagine a scene that takes place the next day, with Ramsay apologizing to the doofy mechanic and allowing him to smear his hands all over the squad car of his choosing.
  13. Blast Hardcheese

    EPISODE 114 — Runaway

    Or, get the cash first, count it, THEN hand over the microchips. Also (and I'm fuzzy on Luther's motivation), but doesn't he already have a couple of the microchips in his possession? Does he really need the schematics he's after? Couldn't Luther reverse engineer the chips he already has and produce more of them on his own?
  14. Blast Hardcheese

    EPISODE 114 — Runaway

    Runaway has to be one of the most listless action movies I have ever seen. And it was made in the era of high-energy science fiction movies such as The Terminator, RoboCop and Return of the Jedi. Compared to those films, Runaway is just lying around the house. "Shuffleaway" seems like a more appropriate name for this film. Here are a couple of things I noticed: *Man, Tom Selleck looks tired in this film. He's super low-energy and just looks annoyed at everything. And that's what you want in a sci-fi action film: a hero who sighs heavily and needs to rest against stuff almost all the time. Maybe he had the flu or mono when they shot this movie.. *At the beginning of the film, Selleck looks right into the camera twice. He does it once in the police lab, and another time in the helicopter. It almost looks like he's about to address the audience directly. *Speaking of looks, Gene Simmons does this great "WHA...?!?" face towards the end of the film when Ramsay's partner, Thompson, busts into the construction site to save Ramsay's son. *How annoying was that fuckin' kid, by the way? *In the middle of a crowded outdoor restaurant, Luther shoves a knife into the back of Christie Alley's head, killing her instantly. He then lays her body into the nearby pool, and stands back up to reveal that his hand is coated with blood. But none of the patrons of the restaurant seem to notice or care, like, at all. *Is it just me, or are the robots in this movie really underwhelming? Most of them are a little more than two feet tall and look like toys you wouldn't want to get for Christmas. And the spider robots are hilarious; when in certain scenes it's obvious that they're stationary, but bouncing on a jib or something. *I love that Ramsay and his boss take turns being annoyed with each other. It's almost like, "Is it my turn to berate you now?" *Dye his hair green, paint his face white and slap some red lipstick on him, and Gene Simmons is Golden Age Joker. *How long do you think it took Luther to make all of those stacks of fake, bound money, anyway? Why not just stick a Spider robot in the briefcase and let it spring into action when the guy he double crosses opens it? *Funaway
  15. Blast Hardcheese

    Entourage The Movie

    I can't speak for Chris Hardwick, but I think what he may have been getting at is that Entourage not having a strong female presence is a tired and stale paradigm that needs to be retired instead of perpetuated (especially in this day and age). On this show, women are seen as either sex objects or harpies, and really nothing more. Contrast this with the women of Sex and the City, where each female lead has depth and character, and we, the audience, get to see how each of these women think, react and navigate through the hustle and bustle of their lives. These woman are human beings with a lot of the same hopes and fears as their male counterparts. I don't think of Entourage as belonging to a subculture, per se, unless, of course, bro-hams now count as a subculture all their own. But these douche-nozzles are everywhere, so I doubt it.
  16. Blast Hardcheese

    Entourage The Movie

    Don't forget The Naked Gun trilogy, which were based on the short-lived, yet hilarious TV show Police Squad.
  17. Blast Hardcheese

    Vacation (2015)

    I think the studios are in it for the quick cash grab. Given the competing interests from the Internet, video games and television on-demand, Hollywood's last deperate grasp is to repurpose itself. In doing so, however, it's produced a body of re-work that seem as if it's tailor made for morons who could give two shits about plot, character or nuance over cartoonish CGI, barfing and "...'splosions!" (these are usually the same people who proclaim, "They should remake that with... ") Studios take these properties people of any generation are semi-familiar with, repackage these with uncharasmatic-yet-aesthetically-pleasing-looking actors, and slap them on screen with the idea that foreign markets will pick up the slack when these movies bomb over here. Taking a risk on a brand new or daring property isn't bottom line cost effective, so throw Ed Helms in a retread and rake in that cash! Reboots and remakes are the particle board of cinema. But as long as there are stupid people willing to shell-out their hard-earned cash of these digitally slick turds, the more Hollywood will tap their inventory and completely fuck up the formula in the process.
  18. Blast Hardcheese

    Robocop 2 (1990)

    RoboCop 3 is abysmal, no doubt. It fails on all levels as movie, and especailly to as the third sequel to a film filled with gleefully excessive violence, profanity and gore. It's also so, so, SO dumb. But out of the three original films, I feel that RoboCop 2 is much more deserving. They took a brilliant premise, threw the hottest comic book writer at the time in and somehow royally screwed the pooch. While both movies are blatantly slapped-together money grabs, the second film excels at taking everything that worked in the first film, trying to turn the volume up to 11 and fucking up it up completely. The comedy is obvious, mean-spirited and tone deaf, the action mind numbing and repetitive, and the plot is a lumbering pastiche of half-baked ideas. The characters aren't engaging at all, and the film has zero heart. RoboCop 2 is a cynical exercise in cashing-in on successful film without properly analyzing exactly what made the previous film a success. Where RoboCop is a cult classic, RoboCop 2 is a cult tragic.
  19. Blast Hardcheese

    Maximum Overdrive

    Dad...?
  20. Blast Hardcheese

    Entourage The Movie

    Entourage over Veronica Mars, aye? I think Veronica Mars is a smartly written and engaging show. Mars herself is like Batman to Buffy: the Vampire Salyer's Superman. I'll admit that the VM movie was okay, but the budget limitations were evident on screen. Also, the dues ex machina villan reveal was a bit sloppy.
  21. Blast Hardcheese

    Maximum Overdrive

    But isn't that the way real life works? For every Elliott Smith or Patrice O'Neal we loose, we retain an Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh. The Universe isn't unfair.
  22. Blast Hardcheese

    Maximum Overdrive

    Bumping this recommendation again just because I don't want this cocain-fueled gem getting lost in the boards.
  23. Blast Hardcheese

    Vacation (2015)

    First Red Dawn. Then RoboCop. Now Naked Gun?!? This reboot shit really needs to stop. Why can't Hollywood leave great films alone and just retool those movies with great premises that bombed back when instead?
  24. Blast Hardcheese

    Robocop 2 (1990)

    I could not agree more. Pulling back the curtain on what made Michael Myers tick was a huge mistake. The less you know about him, the scarier he is. As for the RoboCop reboot, the concensus is that this movie was fair; not bad, but not great either. Essentially, it's the RoboCop Goldilocks would pick. Honestly, I thought the reboot was boring as shit. The first one was a ridiculous, glorious spectacle and it worked on so many levels (so many great scenes, lines and moments - all wrapped-up in a crackerjack script). The reboot just meandered from scene-to-scene. Compare the end scenes of the two movies, where Robo blasts the big baddie from the top of a highrise. One is exciting and the other is... well... not. I'm so tired of these reboots/remakes.
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