Jump to content
đź”’ The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... Ă—

Blast Hardcheese

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    457

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    4

Posts posted by Blast Hardcheese

  1. Posted

    Happy 200th episodes, Paul, Jason and June! This episode is hilarious and so much fun. It ranks right up there with my personal favorite, 88 Minutes.

    I'm lucky enough to be married to a woman who loves 80 action movies (Lethal Weapon, Beverly Hills Cop, Die Hard--essentially the films Action Jackson is in the center of the Venn diagram of). She had never seen, let alone heard of, Action Jackson, so this was her first time watching this endlessly entertaining film. Needless to say, she absolutely loved it. "This movie is fuckin' perfect!" she exclaimed 20 minutes in. It was so much fun watching this movie with her (I haven't seen it in over 20 years since first watching it on VHS) and we had a blast. Thank you for making this movie HDTGM's 200th.

    Okay, so never having tried heroin, I have to admit that I am not exactly an expert on this illicit drug. My general knowledge of its addiction is derived primarily from seeing it portrayed in films like Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction and Requiem for a Dream. In Action Jackson, it's established that Dellaplane has hooked Vanity on heroin (or, is he fostering her already established addiction--this guy's a creep, so either way... ). Okay, but does the old-timey syringe she uses look a bit too hefty for shooting-up with? It looks like the kind of syringe an veterinarian would use on large animals. Then there's the effect the drug has on Vanity: instead of coming across as lethargic and, well, stupor-y, she's acts like a fidgety, drunken sex-pot who, once she gets back to apartment, has "the munchies." Now, I don't want to say that the filmmakers had a sub-remedial understanding of heroin addiction, but their portrayal of it is like a grab bag of lurid addiction symptoms Ă  la Refer Madness.

    Dellaplane owns a car company located in Detroit, MI, a highly competitive market which is dominated by "the big three": Ford, Chevrolet and Dodge. Dellaplane's company doesn't seem to produce any other models of cars other than the two-door sports car that looks suspicious like a Pontiac Fiero with 80's Ferrari vents glued on to the side of it, so how successful can this guy really be? Additionally, Dellaplane, a "successful" automobile magnate, is driven around town not in a luxury car manufactured by his own company, but rather in a Mercedes Benz limo instead. Also, the establishing shot of his narrow, multi-story factory (which must be super convenient for mass producing cars on an assembly line) shows a large, old brick building with several windows busted out. The guy can afford a private army of assassins (with an endless supply of butterfly knives), fund a convoluted murder scheme and lives in a very nice old school mansion, but he can't repair the windows in his company's headquarters?

    It was mentioned during the podcast how the producers came up with the name Action Jackson, and an Australian crew member exclaimed, "I'm in like... " yadda, yadda, yadda. Action Jackson is actually the name of a line of action figures produced by the Mego Corporation during the 1970's. The commercials had a pretty catchy theme song: "Action Jackson is my name/Bold adventure is my game!" which , incidentally, was also sung by by Joel and the Bots on an episode of MST3K. Anyhoo... here is one of the Action Jackson television commercials:

     

    Lastly, the actor who played the butler in Action Jackson is Nicholas Worth. He was also in another great action movie: Sam Raimi's Dark Man. He sadly passed away in 2007.

    • Like 5

  3. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

    One of the things that really annoyed me about this movie and is was solidified in the alternate ending played was that Kyle really doesn't ever do anything that isn't for him. The whole point of this curse was to change him into a better person and for him to start thinking of others than just himself. He does this exactly once, when he asks for the Olson twin to cure NPH's sight and get green cards for Zola's kids. Yet when it comes to Lindy everything is about his want for her to fall in love with him. He's already stalking and obsessed with her when he steps in with her father to kidnap her. After he kidnaps her he starts showering her with gifts to make her like him. He builds a greenhouse not because she likes plants but again so she'll like him. It is not "Oh she likes this, I'll do it for her" rather it is "I'll make this so she thinks I'm into that too and she'll like me." Then after the whole letter debacle he stops talking to her flat out without a thought or care about her thoughts, feelings and wants. He unfairly lets her deal with that letter and the baggage that comes with it while dealing with her father dying all alone because "she called me friend and now my curse won't be lifted." If he had really changed he wouldn't have cared about the curse being lifted or not. He should have by that point learnt his lesson. At least in the alternated ending played he sacrifices himself for her, for once putting her ahead of himself and his wants. Yet it the version we get he decides he'll let her go on a trip she's been planning and saving for years for as an act of self sacrifice but only after it was too late to lift the curse anyway. I guarantee within a week of getting his looks back he's back to being a self obsessed asshole.

    Cam, you are absolutely spot on. By the end of the film, Kyle hasn't learned to be a more thoughtful person but rather someone who can mimic human emotions in a convincing way.

    The scene with NPH getting his sight back would have been much better if he looked down at his outfit and said, "What the fuck have I been wearing all this time?"

    • Like 4

  4. Posted

    Okay, okay okay...

    1. What's ultimately in it for Kendra/The Witch for her to do what she does in this movie? Yes, Kyle is a shallow and vociferous douche bag, but how would his winning the presidency of the green ...initiative (?) really effect her life? He gives his speech to the school, she vandalizes his many, many campaign posters. Okay, tit for tat. When he tries to humiliate her at the school dance (taking place at a trendy New York bar for no reason), she doesn't seem particularly bothered by it, like, at all. Later, when "Hunter" is trying to find Kendra to reverse the spell, he tracks her down at the high school's Halloween block party, where she's just hanging out and dancing around like it ain't no thing. For a supposed outcast, she doesn't seem to be uncomfortable zipping in and out of the school's socials functions. Her character comes across as the being who knows the full extent of her supernatural powers and, because of that knowledge, has no absolutely fucks to give: casting this spell/curse on Kyle and behaving the petty manner she does seems like a complete waste of her time and powers. Had she been portrayed as being bullied, harassed or maligned for being different, that would give her motive and the movie stakes. But, she's lashing-out at one guy in her school (who is, admittedly a prick, but not really a serious threat to her at all) and using her considerable powers to teach him (and, as implied at the end of the film, his father) a lesson makes her unsympathetic: she has nothing to gain and no real wrongs to reverse. I'd argue that Kendra acting upon her petty whims makes her the bully/antagonist of the film, not Kyle.

    2. On that note: to lift the curse, Kyle, a thoughtless asshole who puts more stock into one's physical appearance than the content of their character, has to convince someone to love him in spite of the marring of tattoos, open (yet bloodless) wounds, nose boils, and solder scoring to lift the curse Kendra put on him (seriously, she should have instead just turn Kyle into a middle-aged schlub, transported him to L.A. and wish him luck with). Why condemn some hapless innocent into this game or ridicule and retribution? If Kendra's plan is to make petty jerks learn to be better people, why not go after bigger game (cough *Trump* cough) and do so without manipulating the emotions of an additional person who's oblivious to what's actually going on and can potentially get their heart broken? Kendra is a thoughtless asshole.

    3. Rather than setting him up at Brooklyn brownstone, why doesn't Kyle's father just hide the now-deformed son he's ashamed of at the much more secluded cabin-mansion upstate?

    4. Lindy's reaction to Kyle/Hunter at the end of this film should have been, "What. The. FUCK, Kyle?!? You're Hunter? You blackmailed my father into sending me to live with you?? And magic is real??? I can't fuckin' process any of this shit right now!" Which is then immediately followed by her running away from Kyle in any direction as fast as she can.

    5. Frank O'Hara's "Sharing A Coke with You" may be a celebrated and beloved poem (right?), but does its inclusion in this film feel like blatant product placement for Coca-Cola to anyone else?

    • Like 3

  6. Posted

    On 8/18/2018 at 12:13 PM, Quasar Sniffer said:

    BOND NERD DEBATE! No way, Lazenby is clearly the WORST. He's just so dull and uninteresting in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a movie that is otherwise pretty great (Telly Savalas as Blofeld, Diana Rigg as Tracy Bond, possibly the best Bond Girl). My favorite moments of his performance in that movie is when Bond is supposed to be doing an accent of a heraldry expert and Lazenby is dubbed by another, better, actor.

    And I have watched the Hulu documentary about him, which only made me dislike him more. He just came across like a egomaniacal tool, while Bonds like Dalton and Moore are Unqualified Gentlemen.

    Speaking of Dalton, I really enjoy him as Bond. I think Moore had so solidly established a brand of his quip-heavy, arched eyebrow charm as James Bond, the franchise needed something drastically different. Timothy Dalton brought that, with his searing sexiness and undercurrent of rage. He's, in my opinion, the closest Bond to Fleming's novels and so I definitely enjoy his performances.  Craig has that anger and bitterness too, but it's more on the surface, more unleashed than the quintessentially English Agent Dalton plays him as (even though the character is of Scottish heritage and Dalton is Welsh).

    Totally agree! The Laz lacks Connery's charisma, Moore's smarmy charm, Dalton's steely determination, Brosno's hammy wit, or Craig's Craig-ness. Also, for a guy who bailed on the Bond franchise to get hippie wet, Lazenby sure did a lot of guest appearances in what were essentially "Bond cosplay" to remind audiences that he once (!) played the suave British secret agent. In the Master Ninja II episode of MST3K, for instance, Lazenby plays "Chip" Bond-like character, complete with tuxedo, gadgets and a vintage Aston-Martin DB-9 he stole from the set of Goldfinger.

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    This is my first time posting over here on the Unspooled message board, but since Double Indemnity is my absolute favorite movie of all time I thought I'd chime in with some of my thoughts regarding the film.

    1. Every time Edward G. Robinson is on the screen in this film does for me what I often hear people who discuss Heath Ledger' s Joker does for The Dark Knight (and deserving so: Ledger was a revelation in that roll of course). One of my favorite aspects of Keyes' character is that, true to his last name, he's able to gleefully unlock Phyllis and Walter's scheme (up to a point), even going so far to realize that Mr. Dietrichson wasn't even on the train, but rather a "someone else" posing as him. Papa's got it all figured out.

    2. Paul questioned a couple of times why this movie has never been remade, but it actually was. In the mid-70's Double Indemnity got a hilariously abyssal, shot-for-near-shot made-for-TV update starring Rambo's William Crenna.  It came as a bonus disc with the remastered Universal Legacy Series edition of Double Indemnity, and deserves a HDTGM outing all its own (the TV version, that is). One of the most entertaining scene in the remake is when the main characters "attempt" the famous  "How fast was I going, officer?" scene, and it just deflates right there in front of the camera before the scene gets going, as if the actors just got tired and gave up.

    3. When he wasn't ripping off Quentin Tarantino's early films wholesale, British director Guy Ritchie would find time to lift and mutate lines of dialogue from other famous films as well. For example, here's a line of  dialogue from Benicio Del Toro's Franky Four Fingers in 2000's Snatch "I am not in Rome, Doug. I'm in a rush," which is a simply variation on Keye's "Well, we're not in Medford now, we're in a hurry." Revenge for what we did to The Office? Who knows?

    4. Billy Wilder's follow-up, The Lost Weekend is a direct jab at Raymond Chandler, as the character in that film is supposed to be Chandler himself.

    • Like 7

  8. Posted

    Of the various problems with this movie, I think the lack of charisma of its stars is one of the main culprits to it being as horrible as it is.

     

    In particular, Judd Law is woefully mis-cast in a roll that should have gone to someone who could pull off that certain Indian Jones/Han Solo-like smart ass swagger. I'm thinking of an actor along the lines of the Ryan Reynolds, Sam Rockwell or James Roday. Someone who can provide levity, charm and is instantly relatable to the audience. Judd Law is a great actor, but in this roll he came off as stuffy, poncy and smug. You know: traits the hero's nemesis should have.

     

    Or better yet, re-cast this role as a strong, intelligent female daredevil with the confidence and joie de vivre of a character like Roxy Rocket. Ta-da!

  9. Posted

    Jeremy Irons is as good an actor as Alan Rickman (arguably better) but I think it's apt. Rickman is in Harry Potter (right? I've never seen them) and Irons is in this or Dungeons & Dragons. Rickman was in Die Hard and Irons was in Die Hard with a Vengeance.

     

    As Hans Gruber's younger brother, Simon, no less. So yeah: forever in the shadow of greatness.

  10. Posted

    I know most of what I've written below was broached by other posters on this forum, but I basically wrote the following (which was transcribed my copious notes) last Saturday night (whoo-hoo!) when I watched this movie:

     

     

    I have to admit that I was actually (and ashamedly) excited to hear that Goestorm was this week’s movie: I was curious about this film and finally had an excuse to watch it and see what all the fuss was about. After paying $6 to see it on Amazon Prime (!), however, I quickly realized why this movie is so derided. Geostorm isn’t a “so bad it’s good” movie: It’s just bad.

     

    Geostorm is a CGI-heavy disaster-fetish movie that would have felt right at home in the 90’s (the decade that, of course, gave cinema goers the floodgate-opening blockbuster Independence Day), but by today’s post-911, post-Katrina trauma and mistrust standards feels depressingly out of place and naïve. Everything from the forgettable and familiar, one-dimensional character tropes (and these character’s odd, superficial familiar-ness with one another), to the half-baked “conspiracy at the highest levels of government” plotline, to the main character’s flippant and douche-y attitude in the face of extreme life and death circumstances feel painfully dated and labored. Maybe the director and producers were gunning for a quainter era of grandiose screen death and destruction: I don’t know. Geostorm failed as a movie, and failed in a spectacularly underwhelming and under-entertaining fashion.

     

    Of the many, many perplexing story devices in Geostrom, none irked me more than the Scooby Doo-esque reveal by Ed Harris’ Secretary of State character in utilizing the weather satellites (which, side note, Gerard Butler’s character takes credit for designing, but I have a feeling he just ripped off the idea from either Superman III or that episode of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero where Destro built a “weather dominator”) to destroy America’s enemy’s. Okay, but…

     

    As we learn in the opening voiceover from Butler’s character’s world-weary 14 going on 40 year-old daughter, the nations of Earth have put aside their differences to come together and confront extreme weather events head-on. Nowhere in this movie are we told—or are they even alluded to—who America’s enemies are. We are left to presume that America’s closest threats are the ones we have now: state actors and terrorist cells. But, these threats are never expounded on. Also, are Brazil, Japan and China (three countries we see horrifically devastated in this grand scheme) our enemies in the movies universe?

     

    The other portion of this movie that annoyed the shit out of me was the relationship between Butler’s characters brother (I’ll call him “Mini Mullet”) and Abby Cornish. These two work in the White House and can’t let it be known that they are dating, for some reason (I honestly tuned-out for parts of this movie, so there may have been an explanation, I dunno… ) That being said, what is the point of this? Their secret love affair places zero strain on their relationship and they seem to be relatively carefree and a happy, domestically. Also, for a secret relationship, they do a shit job of hiding it, as they both live together. I’m sure the HR rep at the White House who refuses to give these clandestine lovers the workplace romance rights and responsibilities statutes review would have no problem putting two and two together to see they both live at the exact same address.

     

    Lastly, who is this movie made for? In watching this endless stream of death, destruction, wooden acting, and desperate stabs at humor, I was left to wonder, “Who enjoys watching this shit?” Aren’t movies supposedly a form of escapist entertainment? What audience actually enjoys watching amplified, ham-handed computer-rendered versions of the shit that causes us real-life grief, misery and anxiety? At one point, I think it was during either the flash freezing of Rio de Janeiro beach-goers or the satellite disintegration scene, I unconsciously blurted out, “Oh, fuck you, movie!” at my television. This movie took me to a place I did not like. A bad touch kind of place.

     

    Paul, having now endured this slog of a movie, can we please get Tank Girl (the perfect bookend to Johnny Mnemonic, in my humble opinion) or The Day After Tomorrow for the next (or an upcoming) episode of HDTGM? These movies are endlessly entertaining and bananas in all the ways Geostorm most assuredly was not.

    • Like 3

  13. Posted

    That song wasn't used in the trailer, though, was it? I thought it was just in the movie.

     

    I would say that this Tears For Fears cover actually does something different with the source material and it's really novel and well executed.

     

    What I'm talking about are these nameless, faceless (can anyone name the "artists" performing these songs?), slow, morose, and suicide-inducing covers with wafer-thin, delicate vocals that are in EVERY film trailer these days. These covers are supposed to denote gravity and manipulate emotions, usually juxtaposed with 'splosions, characters looking off into the distance, and armies running into confrontation.

     

    I feel like the last one I heard was a cover of "All Along the Watchtower."

  15. Posted

    Haha, I LOVE The American Astronaut. That is how you do a zero-budget weird as hell indie and still make it good and entertaining. Would probably make a good double feature with 1984's The Brother from Another Planet starring character actor extraordinaire, Joe Morton.

    thebrotherfromanotherplanetposter.jpg

     

    Oh, and They Live? Fuck, I will talk about They Live in any context, always and forever.

     

    Oh my gawd! I totally forgot about this movie. Yes, totally! The Brother from Another Planet and The American Astronaut would make for a perfect double feature.

     

    Whenever I recommend The American Astronaut to anyone looking for an odd movie recommendation, I'll usually describe it as Eraserhead meets Firefly meets Rock And Roll High School. This still doesn't seem to do this amazingly efficient sci-fi indie musical justice, though.

    • Like 2

  16. Posted

    I know good weird movies a la Crank 1 & 2, Punisher: Warzone and the Fast/Furious franchise are few and far between on HDTGM these days, but if you had your druthers, what good-yet-strang-ish movies would you like to see Paul, June, Jason, and a guest discuss.

     

    To get the ball rolling, here are some of mine:

     

    1. The American Astronaut (2001)

    2. A Boy and His Dog (1975)

    3. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

    4. Johnny Suede (1991)

    5. Dead Alive (1992)

    6. Repo Man (1984)

    7. Suburbia (1983)

    8. They Live (1988)

    9. Murder Party (2007)

    10. May (2002)

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

    Did anyone else notice that two scenes from this movie are used in the 1993 film True Romance?

     

    In that film, during the scene at the Safari Inn where Clarence (Christian Slater) and Dick (Michael Rappaport) discuss selling cocaine to a Hollywood mogul, Alabama (Patricia Arquette) turns on the TV and immediately the scene in Freejack with Renee Russo's closeup during Emilio Estevez's character's car crash blares onto the screen.

     

    Later in True Romance, Dick's stoner roommate Floyd (Brad Pit) is zoning out in front of the television to the "mind battle" between Esteves and Anthony Hopkins.

     

    When I first watched True Romance, I kind of figured that the producers used footage from Freejack due to solely to economic concerns (both films were released by Morgan Creek a year apart from each other). However, it's possible that the directer, Tony Scott (working from a script written by none other than Quentin Tarantino), was making a fairly pointed, sub-textual commentary on society's mindless, unquestioning consumption of garbage entertainment like Freejack.

     

    Having never seen Freejack (up until this point, that is), it's two scenes in True Romance made it look absolutely bizarre and ridiculous (and it also give you a short and accurate synopsis of the film: guy dies, guy fights rich guy). I was pleasantly surprised to see, all these decades later, that Freejack is so, so, so much worse than portrayed in True Romance.

    • Like 6

  21. Posted

    It's directed by Madonna while she was still married to Guy Richie (natch!) It most likely killed the curiosity surrounding indie-Gypsy-punks Gogol Bordello. It feels like a what-if involving the collective conscious of Wal-Mart shoppers in the Bible Belt attempting to make their approximation of a soft core porno. The sex object-ettes in this cinematic version of lighting a cigar made of $100 bills with a lit $100 bill are dressed in lingerie for most of the movie, and you want to start a Gofundme to provide these lifeless-eyed actresses with clothes, blankets and warm meals. It's called Filth and Wisdom, and is light on both.

     

    It's either this, or Swept Away.

  22. Posted

    Blast, do you know if the original Jazz Singer was well-received because I thought it was. But then I read your post comparing it to Birth of a Nation and I know that was a huge blockbuster and it was only later that people saw how problematic it was. I guess I thought the original Jazz Singer was still respected with an asterisk?

     

    (Although if it was respected except for the minstrel stuff why make that the one "homage"? Why not do a cover of one that music or have a photo of him somewhere?)

     

    I guess I can't figure out why Diamond didn't just write a new musical if he wrote the songs?

     

    Why did you do this to is, Neil Diamond?

     

    The movie was a tremendous hit for a then-struggling Warner Bros. It really only contains two sections of sound dialogue and music: the famous "You ain't heard anything yet" line, and a scene between Jolson and the actress playing his on-screen mother. When Jolson's voice came over the screen in these two sections, it's reported that audiences were on their feet, applauding.

     

    This was around the time when several studios were experimenting with adapting sound to their films, and outfitting their theaters with costly sound systems, so sound wasn't necessarily a new concept by the time The Jazz Singer was released (The Lumière Brothers first experimented with sound recording technology for film which Thomas Edison soon capitalized on, introducing the concept of syncing film with recorded discs early on, which never took off). But The Jazz Singer was the first film to capitalize on the emerging technology by doing it so dynamically.

     

    But of course there is the use of blackface, which has definitely not aged well and overshadows the achievements in sound this film should otherwise be celebrated for.

    • Like 3

  23. Posted

    My wife and I were initially perplexed why this innocuous-seeming film was picked for this week's episode, so we went to watch the trailer on Amazon prior to watching the movie. It was one of those non-trailer trailers which was actually a cut scene from the film. It featured the minstrel scene in the African-American music club. Yikes...! We instantly realized why it was chosen after that.

     

    This week's episode ironically coincided with my History of Sound in Cinema class's discussion of the introduction of sound in film, and, of course, 1927's The Jazz Singer with Al Jolson, is prominently featured due to it's innovative use of sound. It was how, I am slightly embarrassed (but not too much) to say, I realized 1980's The Jazz Singer was a remake of the 1927 film. So then I got to wondering, what producer (or producers) thought remaking this infamously racially insensitive movie in 1980 was a good idea? That would be like an 80's remake of Birth of A Nation (a film notable for its groundbreaking cinematic achievement in narrative form, yeah, but you know... )

     

    So, back to that club scene: which is more egregious? The black face or the idea that, up until Ernie Hudson outs him, the all-African-American crowd is duped by the ruse and totally into Diamond's act? Like the producers thought that this was a hilarious conceit: fooling black people into believing this white boy in blackface is convincingly pulling it off.

     

    Okay, one last thing: I'm half Jewish myself and my best friend used to date a woman who would do this over-the-top "Jewish voice" thing whenever we'd hang out. I remember not being offended by the stereotypical "oy vey"s and elongated vowels in the middle of her words as much by the fact it wasn't particularly funny. If you're going to do minstrel Jewish voice, bring something new to the game, shiksa.

    • Like 8

  24. Posted

    He straight up said in a mini ep (not long ago, but I don't remember which one) that they're working actors and there are too many people involved in the movie that they don't want to piss off. He said if you want to hear someone talk about it, you could try a different bad movie podcast, but they wouldn't be doing it on HDTGM. He was really cool about it and I respect his forthrightness.

     

    I can respect that. The tightrope Paul, Jason and June have to walk with this podcast now is really getting up there, though. I miss the unencumbered and fearless days of this podcast, but I also understand the politics involved.

    • Like 3

  25. Posted

     

    Hey, Blast I hope whatever's kept you away for so long isn't a permanent thing! It's good to hear from you.

     

    In terms of your list, I would love if they did Cutthroat Island - which I just had the pleasure of watching for the first time recently. I would also still love to see Wolverine: Origins with Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn.

     

    Just your garden variety hectic life stuff (work, school, family, etc.) But, listening to Paul mention your comment on the recent mini ep made me miss this board and everyone on it (even the newbs who keep recommending the movies MST3K have already done). So here I am. Put me in coach. I'm ready to watch... Ninja Dance Squad? Or, whatever it is the next film's called.

     

    Add Jesse Falcon to that Wolverine: Origins list. I know it's one guest too many, but I'd love to hear his take on this film.

    • Like 1
×