WISHES FOR JASON MANTZOUKAS AND SCOTT AUKERMAN

[WISHES FOR JASON MANTZOUKAS AND SCOTT AUKERMAN]

I wish Jason and Scott would do the play by play for my girlfriend's kickball games, with me.

[Great job Mark, you really wet the bed on this one. Those petunias are gonna grow in nicely.]

Don't forget to crap the bed later.

[Foxy robot boxing, all this week on the Own Network!]

Get in the Own!

[Don't tread on me!... Ow! I said don't!]

That really hurt!

[Diabetes in the U.K. welcome to Comedy Bang Bang!]

Wilford Brimley

[Enjoy Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters!]

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang!

[What's up hotdog!? Welcome to Comedy Bark Box!]

What's up hotdog!? Welcome to Comedy Bark Box!

[Whether it's one or two, please turn the fan on while you do it.]

Whether it's one or two, please turn the fan on while you do it.

[I'm divorcing Kulap and marrying Reggie, but I promise it's not your fault little buddy.]

I'm divorcing Kulap and marrying Reggie, but I promise it's not your fault little buddy.

[Can I borrow some of your chapstick? I swear I don't have harpies.]

Harpy herpies.

[And now, the next evolution of Max Headroom!]

And now, the next evolution of Max Headroom!

[It's Comedy Bang Bang, the home of the Pie Boss!]

PIE BOSS!

[What's a podcast, some kinda fish?... The internet? Why can't they just have their show on the radio like everyone else? That's never gonna take off.]

Hey Grandpa check out this podcast: Comedy Bing Bong... No Grandpa, it's a funny radio show on the internet... Well, you can put it on your iPod and listen to it whenever you want... Whatever y'old fart, I'm cool and hip; you're just an old doodie pants and live from New York, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

[Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, the French army knife of podcasts.]

Cheese knife, corkscrew, cigarette lighter, cigarette holder, cigarette case, and smugness mirror.

[I just farted and It smells grrrrreat!]

PRRRRRRRrrrrffff....

[Baby it's cold inside so let's go to the volcano and make hotdogs]

Baby it's cold inside so let's go to the volcano and make hotdogs

[Miye websiyte!]

Miye websiyte!

[If a Comedy Bang Bangs in the forest and no one is there to hear, does it really make me laugh?]

If a Comedy Bang Bangs in the forest and no one is there to hear, does it really make me laugh?

[You can't come in here with that Comedy Bang Bang.]

You can't come in here with that Comedy Bang Bang.

[Live from Kim Jong Un's Glorious Basketball Stadium for the betterment of the people of Korea, It's Comedy Bing Bong]

Live from Kim Jong Un's Glorious Basketball Stadium for the betterment of the people of Korea, It's Comedy Bing Bong

[It burns when I drink tea. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.]

It burns when I drink tea. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

[.redrum, redrum, redrum, gnaB gnaB ydemoC ot emocleW ?godtoh pu s'tahW]

What's up Hotdog? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, murder, murder, murder.

[404 Hotdog not found.]

404 Hotdog not found.

[Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters]

Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are Hansel and Gretel, all grown up and now they hunt witches in the late 1700s? Early 1800s? I'm not sure, All of the clothing and architecture is around the turn of the 18th century but Hansel uses a pump action shotgun, and a one point someone shoots a 50cal Gatling gun.

 

Oh and Hansel has steam punk Diabetes.