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RyanWright

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Posts posted by RyanWright

  2. Posted

    showshowbro, I am snapping my fingers in applause. Let's see if they are #ArmyStrong enough to survive that poetry slam. Freakin posers

    Also, wanted to make any new comers aware that a lot of us are "friends" on FB so get cool about it and check that out.

    I'm Ryan Wright in NC. if you have any trouble finding me, I am the one that is incredibly attractive, funny, talented, and has like the most dreamy eyes.

    • Like 4

  6. Posted

    Did you really grow up in an orphanage? Because, if you did, I will leave my [redacted] for you right now.

     

    Yes. Yes I did and I've never really been able to open up to anyone about it. Most people can't understand a life of being unwanted. Always wishing you had a warm sheltered place to call home, to belong to somewhere, and to be needed by someone. I try to be tough and conceal my wounds with comedy but for years I felt like I was in constant free fall. Honestly I am afraid to even let my mind drift back to those days... You have changed all of that though, my beautiful, wonderful Valerie Bryant, you are amazing and one of a kind. Having a future with you in it makes the harshness of my past disappear. When I think of you I feel safe, and I am brave, and in your eyes I finally know where I belong.

     

     

    *Suck it [ redacted], it's over man.

    **No really I hope I didn't cross any lines here

    **Seriously just a bit, unless it works. In that case I meant every word.

    Including the suck it part

    • Like 4

  7. Posted

    Thank-you, Greggy. I tried right-clicking on them about 16 times a piece and nothing happened, but on the 17th try I get an options menu. Thank-you for helping me. You should work for Google. Treese, you seein' this? Get Greggy on your team.

     

    Those pics are priceless. Chubby McGurl and ol' three drapes Junk.

     

    I don't know how to put pics in like all you cool people do okay?! I admit it...I need help please. Also there is very little photographic evidence that I was ever a child. Maybe it's because my mom never loved me or because I grew up in an orphanage, I can only guess but probably at least one of those.

     

    thanks for noticing the drapes. at the time I was saving up but ultimately had 4 drapes. also you are the third person in my life to call me that

     

    BTW: I ALWAYS get top billing in posts and you better watch it McGurly man! j/k

     

     

    p.s. I bet Hayes thinks that 'top billing' is when he uses too many minutes on his phone plan

     

    I am out of likes as well, when will earwolf end this insanity?!

    • Like 3

  12. Posted

    when the gf tips never came, I started to think that S+H were just like straight up liars.

    But then it hit me... that is the advice. My new strategy is to just make shit up.

    From now on, I am a big deal rich guy that do's movies and do's Hollywoods and doesn't give an F.

     

    Plus, I think a lot of those tips from valeriebryant really carry over into adulthood

     

    A great RSS moment is reading the news like joey from the amazing race "Hallelujah! The Cheese!"

    • Like 1

  13. Posted

    I think it is so boss that Sean and Hayes refuse to go to the Emmy's even though they were definitely invited and do basically all movies and feelms... well all the good shit anyway

    looks like chris hardwick found a host slot empty though. Ever notice how the words he says don't really match the contortions his mouth makes? it's like he is being badly dubbed but in his native language

    • Like 2

  14. Posted

    {50's Ritchie Valens "we belong together" plays softly in the background}

     

     

    Dear Hayes and Sean,

     

    I am writing to ask for advice. I have posted to your internet fan forum several times and subscribed on itunes, but I still haven't been able to find a girlfriend. I always make sure to brag to the ladies about how famous and popular I am on the boards. I have even told some girls that I know you guys IRL and that we're all best friends so they'll think I am cool, but the only responses I get are like "that sounds so lame" or "who is that? never heard of 'em". I am so confused and almost everyone on the forum is dudes. I very much like bazongas and would like to find a pair to call my own. please help

     

    Love,

    down and out in durham

    • Like 12

  15. Posted

    I'm back in the Popcorn Gallery Baby! Oh Yea! can't wait to get the residuals off that one!

     

    thanks for the pics, what a great time I missed!

    Did Hayes & Sean stick around and sign boobs? or did they whisk away on the helicopter/boat/house/boat?

     

    Bring it to the east coast next time and maybe leave pete holmes though. no one talks about Hayes' face that way

    • Like 7

  16. Posted

    How's this for a character idea? I make great russian accent, so I'm a mail order husband bought by the lead singer of feminist punk rock group as an ironic protest toward the treatment of women. she doesn't love me, in fact she's lesbian, and I'm forced to tour with her band or go back to the gulag. I'm confused, uneducated, oblivious, but thankful to be in Amerika, home of free, land of braves

    • Like 2

  17. Posted

    showshowbro, I caught the last hour of your show today and it was very funny man. I usually have to work Saturdays so I've only been able to hear bits and pieces. is there an archive I could find? I'd love to call in sometime and just shoot the shit or like if you want to come up with a skit beforehand. if you'd be interested I am up for anything.

    plus i do karate too but I pronounce it like Care-rah-tay

    • Like 2

  18. Posted

    let's find unity in our favorite past posts or post-posts? Chanson had one that cracked my whole shit up where he explained seanhayes vs. hayesean when it was revealed that sean and hayes are not actual people that are our "friends" they are more of a brand. I couldn't find it but I think it's an rss thread.

     

     

    Although I am unsure where this is coming from, I can't, in good conscience, say it's a bad idea or particularly untrue. In fact, you're probably right to hate them and you're not wrong about Seattle or myself.

     

    But I'm still right about the gargoyles vs grotesques and people really need to get their shit together.

     

    You know what you did. All you Seattleites are the same, dave matthews wrote a whole big song about it

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

    apparently togetherness isn't a popular pov with you monsters. I still refuse to join your rival gangs but I would like to offer my services as a drug dealer to both sides. if you can snort, eat, inject, or smoke it, I have it. I only deal in the metric system so don't contact me with that nickel and dime bullshit.

     

    word of advice to the gang leaders, I'd keep an eye on timtreese the forum police, if anyone on here is a narc it's him

     

    ps chanson I will never say anything good about you again. I thought your posts were funny but actually I hate them and seattle is stupid and is full of shitty people, most of all you

    • Like 5

  21. Posted

    I'm more of a lone earwolf and gargoyles has a disney saturday morning cartoon vibe to me. The forum is stronger united. I like all of you. Some more than others of course, and also that ged guy from a while back creeped me out. I hope he finds solace in posting to 'missed connections' on CL though. a lot of posts here are good and some are great but they are all archived. let's find unity in our favorite past posts or post-posts? Chanson had one that cracked my whole shit up where he explained seanhayes vs. hayesean when it was revealed that sean and hayes are not actual people that are our "friends" they are more of a brand. I couldn't find it but I think it's an rss thread.

    one love, ingrates

     

    valerie bryant, yes you are the "some more than others"

    • Like 4

  24. Posted

    Ooooo Booyah! My last post got a Hayes' like! I bet all you dipshits that didn't like it feel pretty stupid now huh? well good you should...

     

    Anyone have a question for Johnny Pemberson? Well, do it!

    Johnny Timburton, when you come up with a funny joke in your head, do you think some of the hilarity is lost in translation when you say it out loud to other people? if so, does this mean that your jokes will always be funnier to you than anyone else?

    • Like 2

  25. Posted

    ...so everyone on this forum is a criminal of some kind. Good to know.

     

    Also, Thelonious, I won't tell her, but I'll have her lifeguard Ken-doll boyfriend (who I love and respect very much, for the record) let her know. How's that sound?

    That sounds terrifying, those guys can tread water for like 10 minutes straight. I couldn't escape by land or sea my only recourse would be to fake drowning. or do you mean that he is literally a doll? like you love and respect him because his androgyny makes it impossible for him to violate your beloved cousin? regardless man don't fret, I am way out of her league

    What up? Yeah, I am still saving up to get the Handbookbook. There is a school supply drive at my office this week so if may see if I can steal one. Holler at me in Charlotte. I'll show you the best haunts and we can hang with Claire Danes and Sergeant Engineer Cody Brody.

    How is Claire Bear? I haven't talked to her since that night she kept introducing herself as "my so called wife" sweet girl but she comes on a little strong. I'll definitely try to get in touch though. I'm going to the Kishi Bashi show at the Visulite Theater on the 14th, you ought to check it out, he's all kinds of rad sauce.

     

    that reminds me, what has become of Freja? I think this forum has been Hamburgled!

    • Like 7
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