ElieB

Yeah I'm in the minority on this board in thinking Split was a funny movie for a hate watch so I don't think it was really "good". and in that sense xXx was a waaaaaay funnier hate watch.

Damn just getting ahead of myself. Forgot about shitty surf ninjas.

WELCOME TO THE NEXT EPISODE

This is still one of the most enjoyable bad movie viewings I've had in-theater. I went in expecting something good and as my disappointment grew with every 'what the fuck?!' I eventually just started pulling at the string to unravel this thing. Turns out the string was one of those magic never ending scarves and it took me down a rabbit hole where space-time collapsed into a singularity of 'holy shit!' To this day it may be my #1 wish for HDTGM candidates.

Yeah I can't even remember the old xXx movies besides just not enjoying them at all. In terms of style they were outdated the moment they were made. But this one is like the Fast 5 of the series, except not legitimately good, just certifiably insane. Actually, make that the Fast 6 of the xXx franchise. It's all very self-aware and leaning into the comedy of the situation, right down to a laugh out-takes montage for the end credits in which you can tell all the actors just can't fucking believe they're doing this.

Saw it last night. Left the theatre just thinking "YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" for like 10 minutes. Perfect bad movie. Dialogue is all comically bad or cheesy, and I loved it. Toni Colette's lines talking about Diesel right before he's introduced are hilarious. Yen was absolutely awesome. Jaa cracked me up. Rose's hit girl is also really funny. The one guy who's "just a DJ" was fairly unmemorable except that the very concept of the role he was playing is bananas and hilariously executed. The other brunette 10s were all ok but I liked that the badass one was an otherwise unassuming Indian woman. Though, I don't really know what to think about how this film treated women... On the one hand, its crazy that they all want to fuck vin diesel and turn to mush around him. On the other hand... I think... it actually passes the bechdel test? xXx passes the bechdel test? What is happening?! Yeah, women have a surprising amount of roles in this, of a good variety. And if you substract Michael Bisping from the list of male actors (cause he's deadweight [or a useless git]), as well as the countless cannon fodder, then there may have been more female roles in this movie than male. OMG AND RORY MCCANNNN! I had no clue the Hound was in this playing B.A. Baracus.

that first review on the page is priceless

I'm not gonna name names here but you could technically watch most of the oscar noms anywhere if you *Cough*pirate*Cough*. It's really not the same as being in the theatee but screeners are generally very decent quality. I see way too many movies in theaters already so I don't feel so guilty about it.

I'm not going to soapbox about oscars so white because I don't like to muddy the awards with politics. That said, I'm pulling for Hidden Figures in all it's nominations. I loved that movie. Certainly, it has a lot to do with my fascination with the Mercury 7 & early space race. That got me in the door and it tugged at the heart strings throughout. But it was really a great film. Especially in contrast to recent films centered on racism, this one was so wonderful because it focused on the very best of us rather than the very worst. It was literally uplifting and I actually bawled leading up to the lift off scenes, which is a pretty damn rare occurrence. It also managed to turn the dark bits of racism into kind of humorous moments as well rather than just make people feel angry or guilty. I haven't scene LaLa but want to and haven't had the chance. Though I hate the idea of a musical winning the top awards and even moreso the thought of the hollywood elite awarding the movie that most worships hollywood itself... Like, fuck off. (Again, I am still excited to see it) Will definitely watch Manchester but don't really see what the appeal of the story is... The trailer just seems like humdrum modern family drama to me but I really like casey affleck. Definitely not seeing moonlight. Couldn't care or relate any less to it and i've heard it's one of those films that's a "good movie but not a good time." And also that Ali is in it for a very short time. If you're on film for less screen time than a tv sitcom, I don't care how good you were, that's not award worthy. Hell or High Water was great and really liked Hacksaw. Though hack wasn't great-great and really it's kind of been done to death despite the central figure being original. Neither screams award winner. Guess I need to see Nocturnal Animals and Capt.Fantastic. Very much underestimated those two. Arrival is overrated I think. Surprised it got so many noms though it certainly deserves effects or technical nominations I guess. As a narrative it really fell flat after the twists. So yeah, I'm just hoping for Hidden Figures wins. Terrible Oscar season

Guys. Has anyone seen this yet? It's such trash! And sooooo exploitative of teenage girls in underwear. And yet getting pretty good reviews. Went in with an open mind based on that alone but really hated it. It had one decent idea and ruined it by piling shit all over it. Was really hoping to enjoy some hit pieces on this one but I can't even do that cause reviews are good and it crushed the box office. I'm left to depend on you, fair heynongmen. Go see it, report back here. I guarantee you WILL be disappointed. It is NOT good. But, it is very laughable in the moments that aren't total silence or slow-pan.

Holy shit I would have loved that so much more than the non-climax we got instead. Unbreakable is definitely my favorite M.Night joint. Looking forward to catching Sam Jackson in xXx next weekend.

about midway through it really started to remind me of Vampire's kiss. That combination of repetitive scenes with his psychiatrist giving terrible advice(lol) and Mcavoy himself indulging his own psychosis. Only it didn't have the balls to let the audience question whether it's really true or not. (Though I know most people side with: No, he obviously wasn't becoming a vampire) Those who will take it less seriously will really enjoy the insanely shifting accent work Mcavoy is doing, might have been my favorite part. But towards the end his god awful speechifying was making me face palm. Add to that the very murky morality espoused in the final confrontation. That reveal left me with a lot of "WHAT?!" rolling around my head. Especially after that super dark molestation subplot in the middle. There were literally people leaving the theatre with their kids hahaha. I liked the cameo but felt the climax was all very ho-hum. I was predicting a handful of twists but it just sputtered out. Also, is it just me or were there definitely scenes from the tv spot that just weren't in the final cut at all? I had a completely different impression of it going in than what it actually turned out to be.

I think MacAvoy set a record for most villains played by a bald actor in a single production. So there's that.

So on last night's Marvel's Agents of SHIELD an AI android runs amock and I could have sworn the script was punched up by our HDTGM friends. Mack kept dropping nonstop bad movie references of the killer robots/AI variety. At one point they're all gathered around in their HQ talking through some plan when all the phones in the room start ringing all at once and Mack says "Ok, this right here? This i exactly how the Lawnmower man ends..." with a terrified expression. Later, Mack and his lady are talking about ai robots always go on to kill their human overlords and haven't the inventors seen any movies from the 80's? When his lady friend suggests they should force the inventors to watch all the terminators, Mack mentions 'Even salvation?' presumably pointing out the worst of the series. After that they run into a hangar where a Quinjet activates itself and starts shooting at them to which Mack says "She did not go all Maximum Overdrive on us..." lol and finally Mack sneaks up on the android and beheads it with his shotgun mounted axe, zoom in to mack saying "Roll credits."

Ohhh that's a nice list to skim through for unseen flicks. I noticed Pontypool on the list. Was that a new one for you? How did you like it?

Noomi was good in Prometheus, and I love that movie, but this here is the source of all my perversions. Morten Tyldum and JLaw came within seconds of recreating this scene in Passengers but they cut before every single scene of getting into their spacesuits. Fuck that movie.

I find myself unreasonably upset by the lead actress' stupid fucking haircut. Don't mind short hair, love it most of the time. But a straight up mushroom cut? wtf is this? Whatever, this whole movie is basically playing off my fetish for ladies in tank-tops on spaceships and/or easing into spacesuits. Bless you, Ridley.

Donde esta mi pollo??? DONDE ESTA MI POLLO?! Hahahah that was hilarious in spanish. I never bothered watching LOL, cause gross. So happy too see this scene completely out of context and in a foreign language. Muchos gracias! & FELIZ NAVIDAD!

Guys I just had my mind blown. It has to do with the mandela effect/berenstain bears stuff... First, check out this article http://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/internet/2016/12/movie-doesn-t-exist-and-redditors-who-think-it-does My friend and I both remember Shazaam. I'm downloading Kazaam now to watch and confirm that I've never seen this piece of shit. But I honestly can't believe that Shazaam wasn't real. NO way Shaq had the charisma that I'm remembering from Sinbad... what the fuck! Chime in if you remember Shazaam! Never forget!

Haha now that I think about it, Joe Black and Collateral Beauty would make great companion pieces for an ambitious double header...

Like with sphere, I seem to be on the wrong side of history with this one. Cause I liked it. Hopkins being a total boss. Brad Pitt being like a complete alien. I love it when adults act like idiot children who're experiencing everything for the first time. Just find it very comical. Hot Forlani, at her peak in probably her best film role? I dunno, her imdb makes me really sad. But I had a huge crush on her in this movie. Don worry, everything gon b irie [media=''] [/media]

HAHA, oh my... I just remembered seeing a trailer for this months ago in theatres. I remember being completely amazed by the bad-potential of it and thinking 'Theres no fucking way hes talking to not one but several abstract concepts. Cause like, why the fuck would Love and Time ever need to have conversations between themselves? He must be getting gas-lighted by a bunch of people in some twisted form of therapy.' To know that it's actually some elaborate but classic form of gas lighting just to get someone's job makes it that much better.

This is such a tragic thought. Now I'm imagining June tattooing her whole body memento-style with reminders of each and every HDTGM episode lol. Somebody please get to photoshopping this. very excited to see where the Battlefield Earth tatoo goes.

I laughed hysterically at the Air Force One confusion bit and then got really sad realizing how close to reality it is. If and when Trump is inaugurated as president of the united states, I think it will be perfectly reasonable to confuse Con-Air for Air Force One...

No doubt. But it's unfortunate because if I had to rank them I'd have Defendor 1st, Super 2nd, and Kick-ass last. There are a lot of similarities between Defendor and Super. But the characters in defendor are all so much more likable and there's no get-the-girl, stalking crazy boyfriend aspect to it. Just a kind-hearted imbecile and the people who can't help caring about him despite the stupid things he does.