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ElieB

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Everything posted by ElieB

  1. ElieB

    Episode 64 — After Earth

    Then you'll love this other quote from Willow smith (from vulture article which i did not get passed the opening paragraph, http://www.vulture.c...recocious.html#) 'About a year ago, in a now-legendary T magazine interview, then-14-year-old Willow Smith was asked about her conception of time. “I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please,” she answered, “and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.”' The smith spawn were born of some unholy ritual, I'm sure. I believe they will either grow to be christ-like saviors or else be the downfall of civilization. I, for one, welcome our new time-slipping overlords
  2. ElieB

    Lost in Space (1998)

    Hahaha the face shield was legit. Way ahead of its time. Honestly it still looks as good as most new movies, comparable to the Ironmans and Guardians of the Galaxy(Peter Quill's CGI space mask lol) Spacey military mask and leather bomber jacket, very Peter Quill Pilot variation? How versatile Ahead of its time. Including things like Lacey chabert being an emo youtube star. And the efficiently oblong space helmets unlike the boxy, angled 2001SO helmets or the NASA fishbowls. It's still a little too square on the edges but an early example of space suit designs that we see in movies now.
  3. ElieB

    Episode 64 — After Earth

    So a friend of mine sent me this link to a Jaden . It's BANANAS and I wanted to share it here. I made this teaser pic for yall
  4. ElieB

    Lost in Space (1998)

    Amazing! Oh man I loved this movie. I was 12 when it came out as well. *high five* I mean it had all the things 12 year old me loved. Space, robots, aliens, adventure, a dorky kid, an emo girl, TIME TRAVEL?! YES PLS. Yeah, like TehJeff I had a big time crush on Lacey Chabert in this movie. Other than CGI monkey and general hammyness, I will defend everything about this movie.
  5. ElieB

    Violet & Daisy

    Spoiler: Only Bledel's character was actually shooting him, Ronan's character is only firing blanks. Sure, it bends credibility. But it has a comic, pulp feel to it so didnt care. Thought it was funny
  6. ElieB

    Vampire's Kiss (1988)

    Just witnessed this amazing work of our Nicholas Cage heritage for the first time. Vampire's Kiss has every-single-fucking-thing you want in a HDTGM movie. EVERYTHING. I can't even stop thinking about it. There were whole scenes i had to rewatch about a dozen times. Just google Vampire's kiss GIFs and count how many of them make you go "WUT?" PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
  7. ElieB

    Lucy (2014)

    USB stick of destiny!!! "Your usb drive of destiny is currently at 10% capacity... 20% capacity... 40%..." Or would it go in reverse? Going down like a precious resource, infinite wisdom.
  8. ElieB

    Violet & Daisy

    How DARE you! Alex Bledel is infallible! Jason will agree.
  9. ElieB

    Why did they change the theme song?

    I laugh at the new theme all the time. Still, it doesn't feel like a theme song. I miss the original, it actually felt like the opening of a show, it was hype! Bring back the original!
  10. ElieB

    Fantastic Four (2015)

    Naiedl it. Those ten year olds were able to convey Reed & Grimm's pathos better in 5 minutes than the rest of the actors combined for the duration. Which makes me think there was nothing wrong with Trank's "direction" at the onset of production.
  11. ElieB

    Fantastic Four (2015)

    Also I'm quite familiar with Victor von Doom as one of marvel's best villains. A brilliant dictatorial technocrat, who's prowess for both technology and manipulation is almost magical at face value. A foreigner who's world view is so flawlessly justifiable and yet utterly distasteful. Who displays the ego of a God among men and thinks himself sorely misunderstood. He has the potential to upstage the MCUs biggest weakness which is its villains. Yet they delivered a shallow, petty, angsty, immature, powerless, punk charicature to dress the stage for the climactic battle... wut. Why... So many choices were just oddly wrong to the point of laughs, but what they did with him kinda pissed me off.
  12. ElieB

    Fantastic Four (2015)

    i feel like the juicy controversy over direction and production is overshadowing what is fantastic mess of a film. Honestly, its succession of both fantastic and disastrous scenes is really astounding, in the funniest way. And I'll say this: if you haven't googled Kate Mara fantastic four wig(s), before seeing the movie, then you're doing it wrong.
  13. ElieB

    Fantastic Four (2005)

    Fellas, I recognize this was a bad movie. But believe me. Fantastic Four 2015 is a far more beautiful disaster. At least in 2005, our heroes actually went outside, were a part of new york city, and existed in a real world. At least it had character arcs and motivations, a consistent comic book tone, etc. 2015 is possibly the worst comic book movie of all time, regardless of director/studio clash. Read my blurb in the F4 2015 suggestion thread.
  14. ElieB

    Fantastic Four (2015)

    Guys! I saw it! Forget about Trank, or Fox, or on-set behaviors, or who's at fault for what... This is a marvelous DISASTER. I desperately want to hear an episode about this. Even if it's just a half-hour Mini-ep of WigTalk with June. OMG THE WIGGY WIGS! This movie could easily drive a full episode with all the radical inconsistencies and go-nowhere plot developments, and HORRIBLE representation of their powers and abilities... -80% of all the action shots are just 3 people floating in a bubble and, like, doing a brutal job at it. -Training montage is longer than the final battle. -Awful dialogue between friends and family who all treat each other like asshole neighbors they have to put up with. -Absolutely NO character arcs, for anyone. -50 mins of consecutive setup scenes for cool abilities or relationships, none of which pay off or come back in the 2nd half. (except for a nerd's internet screen-name and one of Sue's Autistic-looking but pre-fantastic skills) -The best actors in the whole thing were the two 10 year olds as young Reed and young Grimm -So many promises made, none of which are followed thru with, or even brought up again. -Grimm ad Reed are best friends who never spend ANY time together -Johnny can "Build anything" except a car engine that doesn't explode, so he's going to work on the teleporter project cause Daddy said so -Sue is central to building this teleporter thing, but when Doom and the boys get drunk and decide they should be the first ones to use it cause "it was their dream", they don't even mention to Sue what their doing but instead call up Grimm(who's been offscreen for half hour) -Doom is an angry hipster hacker guy. He really really hates authority figures but we never get any backstory to explain why, or what THEIR childhoods were like (Sue, Johhny & Doom) -But we do get to see young Reed and Grimm, so that must mean something right? Nah. But let's be thankful for the only good 10mins of the movie. -Reed has a tiny jason bourne subplot where he goes on the run (abandoning his only friends) and builds his own solo-teleporter + stretchy power suit. It's over immediately, contributes nothing and is never mentioned again. -We mostly see the Thing resting in a tiny lockerroom/prison cell or otherwise on monitors, military recordings of his field action -Doom's "final form" is just entirely static. He has 0 facial expression, no lips to move, nothing. So he walks around menacing vague threats which are unexplained but literally all of it could be ADR -Doom's powers are... everything? He walks around giving "Talk to the hand" gestures and popping peoples':Heads, electronics, ammunition, etc. Manifests things out of nothing. Kills people for no reason, even tries to kill Sue who he was in love with all movie long. etc. I wish I brought a notebook to write down some of the worst lines. Seriously people, this is the comic book movie equivalent of Winter's Tale! A beautiful disaster. I wanna hear June talk about wigs and character motivations I wanna hear Jason talk about the choices/changes they made regarding the original F4 source material I wanna hear Paul's take on Science fairs and 18 year olds supplanting NASA And I'd love to hear Kevin Smith back in the studio, or some other nerd like Patton Oswalt, to talk about their childhood heroes getting the Syfy treatment. PLSPLSPLSPLSPLS
  15. Canadian indie werewolf / buddycop movie?? Yes please. This movie is so damn good, in a Neveldine & Taylor kind of way. Like it's campy in all the right ways, great pacing, evenly peppered with smart-ass and/or cliche dialogue but it's BONKERS! Like the Crank of Werewolf movies. Must See
  16. ElieB

    The Interview

    Classic case of Ain'ters Ain'ting... The movie is what it is, a Goldberg comedy, and it's fine. If you honestly didn't laugh at all the honey-potting and honey-dicking then you must have a bad case of stank dick.
  17. ElieB

    Horns (2013)

    Seconded! Saw it at an indie cinema a few weeks ago on a date and we were both sharing WTF moments the whole way through. Laughing half the time, and straight up dumbfounded for the other half. Horrible wandering plot structure, weird pace that keeps you thinking the movie is about to end but NOPE just another WTF moment...
  18. ElieB

    Predestination (2014)

    All-time best use of a he-she as a plot device.
  19. ElieB

    WolfCop (2014)

    Oh man, thanks for the laugh! These are awesome one-liner/puns. Also, not to be that guy but the movie can now be downloaded and/or pirated at your convenience. Perfect Halloween fair!
  20. Nice observations about a classic!
  21. ElieB

    The Sweetest Thing (2002)

    God bless you, you saint . That clip is was HDTGM is all about. How in the fuck did - that - get made.
  22. ElieB

    Knowing (2009)

    The scene is bonkers! Starting with the first victim running passed him, engulfed head to toe in flames, while Cage just shouts 'Hey! HEY!' at him but does nothing to help. Then its just a series of 10 second clips in which Cage tries to save people from some horrible death, but in fact saves NO ONE. Because, as cage puts it later on, he was put there just to watch. and know. Don't even get me started on the half dozen scenes of creepy mute pedophile angels having staring contests with kids, or otherwise giving them horrifying visions of the apocalypse. WHY WOULD YOU SHOW THAT TO CHILDREN!? Oh look, these kids are completely helpless in fending for themselves and powerless to affect any change in the story, but let's show them the horrible fate that will befall everyone they know and love... MmmKay
  23. This was the most upsetting theater experience i've had in years. So disappointing in every way. I left the theater feeling ripped off and violated. Then I read all the great reviews of the film and my mind exploded... Did people see a different film? It basically turns into generic, badly written, badly acted, cliche-ridden garbage after 25ish minutes... I mean, i guess they were trying to make a family film??? That's the only way i can reconcile this peace of shit with all the reviews. If I was 6yrs old i might have loved it. But just about any animated disney/pixar kids movie is more enjoyable for adults than this.
  24. ElieB

    Jurassic Park III

    I rewatched the trilogy a few months back and this is the gist of it... after two movies of horror and fear driving the suspense, this movie turns around and gives us Tea fucking Leoni as the loudest, dumbest, emptiest shell of a human being running around oblivious to all the threats until they're right in her face. At which point she gets even louder. Other than Leoni, it's your standard enjoyably bad movie. But boy there's a lot of cringe-worthy Leoni moments in the opening 20 minutes.
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