jaymanthegreat

This one is for you, you foolish rebel.

You can do anything with Love. Not love the feeling, but R.J. Love who lives down the street. That guy's a miracle worker.

He gave me a run for his money and a brisk walk for his tootsie roll.

Get off your high horse! Its irresponsible to ride him when he's in an altered state!

There was a time once when people only cared about one thing: the sex. Now everyone's all about sex AND caring for their stupid families. Lame-Os!

Paul never sleeps. Paul never eats. Paul sees colors dancing around him. I wanna marry Paul. Paul is dead

I love Neil Diamond's "Coming to America." Though truly, I love all songs about patriotic ejaculation.

I don't get why some posts get a lot of views and some don't. First of all, none of them really need to be viewed as I always keep the whole catchphrase in the topic. Second, why would one that I post get 22 views when another I posted within five minutes only gets 8?

Time has a way of slipping past us, but I'll catch it one of these days.

Pornstar sex is just like regular sex, only with pornstars.

There's no point in helping people. It'll all be ruined by cynics anyway.

Water, water everywhere but I'm not thirsty at all. Gimme pancakes.

They called me a shrimp in high school. But jokes on them, my neighbor Jake loves the taste of shrimp!

Why hasn't anyone ever asked the good boys what they would do if the cops came for them?

Plastic Bottles. Aluminum Cans. Latex Prophylactics. Separate your recyclables, people!

Sweet as she may be, the Giving Tree must have suffered from some deep psychological trauma.

I support the gay agenda. I support any agenda, in fact. Time management is the key to any successful meeting.

Come to think of it, I don't think Benjamin Braddock's relationship with Mrs. Robinson was entirely appropriate.

My daughter wanted me to submit the following: Poopoo Poopoo Poopoo Poopoo

Went into the woods behind my house. Nothing happened. #sondheimsaliar

Do not cry over spilled milk, but rejoice that the milk truly lived.

Took me twenty years to figure out the title of Back to the Future. Maybe now I'll watch it sometime.

...aaaaaaand the phrase is caught! Betcha didn't see that one coming.

I wasn't trying to woo the waitress, I just wanted a glass of delicious olive juice.

There's a little place I know where the going is sweet and the sweeties are go. #tacoma