jaymanthegreat

Beware, I say to thee! If any be so bold as to take my yogurt from the fridge, my memo of vengeance shall fly to thee on swift wings!

Sorry Ma, we was just a-wrestlin' a lil' bit. We didn't mean to kill all them there chickens.

Of Mice and Men? Way can it be of Rats and Women? I blame that Al Gore.

Rarely are radiators reused to wrongly reduce radishes from ravishing raids.

You bring the heat, I'll bring the sizzle. My mom will bring sugar cookies.

Rodney! Rodney, come back! Is it something I said or this alligator carcass?

A special thanks to our sponsor Leesa Mattresses and a very special thanks to jaymanthegreat for saving us from bringing them up organically.

Me and my baby are pulling out the candles and massage oil and packing them up so I can move out and be done with her.

If all your friends jumped off a bridge, then you probably weren't very supportive of them.

She was a sultry dame. He was a dark and brooding lothario. Now they run the bicycle shop on Cedar Street.

Stand back, ye demons and serpents of sin! Im sorry there's only one stall, but I had burrito for lunch.

Temptation. Lust. Passion. Sprinkles. These are my four dogs.

First, do no harm. Second, that's silver. Third is my favorite base. See! I know numbers real good.

Drove my Chevy to the sea of troubles, but the sea of troubles was dry.

I'm not looking for a Love Boat, I just want a canoe with no strings attached.

Bill Nye the Science Guy is not a real scientist, but I can assure you he's all man.

First I was afraid, but then I was hungry. I will survive, thanks to cannibalism.

In a live show, everyone can hear you scream.

Sweet loads of butter and cream, I have diabetes!

Sweet cheese, Martha. Nice sauce, Rodger. Once Paul shows up with the sausage, I'll get my dough on.

Sweet cheese, Martha. Nice sauce, Rodger. Once Paul shows up with the sausage, I'll get my dough on.

Now son, you see, a bird fucks a bee and daddy films it and sells it on the internet.

If small is big and big is absolute, then I suggest fighting the mongoose and flipping 2+ burgers.

In my life I have loved and been loved, found peace and created my own, but nothing, my boy, has brought me more joy than an ice cold can of Hawaiian Punch.

Behold! I bring you muddy mortals FIRE that you might know its power to create and destroy (and to light up a bowl of kush, dawg!)