jaymanthegreat

I know, I know, I know... I shouldn't have worn bubblegum pants to a gum-chewing party.

They say life is what you make, so let's make it a turkey club, with plenty of pickles. Light on the mayo.

To err is human, which is why I bought this robo-horse.

I'm back, but not in black. My wife only buys me shirts in earth tones.

Life is full of possibilities. I'll sit with my bag of potato chips and wait for them to happen.

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly with the thumbs.

If my interpretation is correct, Einstein meant that Time is my cousin and Space is my nephew.

Today is a great day to spend with someone you care about, but you chose to spend it with me.

I only have one heart to give... I sold the rest to some dude named Freddy.

I never claimed to be a blue-haired clown with a compulsive spending problem.

My heart raced as she moved towards me. She leaned in, bringing her lips to my ear. I felt her hot breath as she whispered, "tacos, please."

Stop, Hammer-time! Screwdriver-space! Wrench-matter!

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