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About TexBelmont

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  1. TexBelmont

    EPISODE 153 — Farewell...For Now

    Some of the stuff that made me laugh the hardest had nothing to do with Dungeons and Dragons. I laughed like crazy any time the topic came up of the guy in the wheelchair. What was his name again? I never before had realized just how horny the people must be who work around hot dogs all day. I will never listen to Chuck Mangione again without thinking of his dulcet tones coming out of a horn of blasting. The list goes on. Thanks for the great times and great laughs, guys. You have created a nationwide epidemic of cackling idiots whose coworkers assume have lost their minds.
  2. TexBelmont

    EPISODE 132 — Derro Onslaught

    Besides, if they were busy playing the game, we wouldn't know about the greatest invention to hit mankind in the 21st century (maybe any century), chickens with hot dogs for bones!
  3. TexBelmont

    EPISODE 123 — Saving Steve Martin

    I listen on headphones, and I don't hear it at all. I guess I need to listen harder. What I did hear was Brian's colonoscopy fart story. That was this episode's laugh-until-my-stomach-hurts moment for me. BP&F, keep digressing all you want. If it weren't for your digressions, I would not know how to properly prepare for the inevitability of my first colonoscopy.
  4. TexBelmont

    EPISODE 115 — Tying the Rope

    I love the whole show, but nobody cracks me up as completely and consistently as Rick. He is a sick, sick monkey.
  5. TexBelmont

    EPISODE 116 — Blue Worm

    Rick is my absolute favorite, hands down. My stomach hurts from laughing so damn hard at his antics this episode. Thebparty, and the game, needed a little injection of chaos, just like Winter's rectum needed an injection of quarter staff. Please, please, PLEASE let Rick keep playing! Even if he lands you in a TPK, they're fictional characters, and Rick will make your demise as hilarious as the inevitable, episodic demise of Wile E. Coyote. Great work, guys. I am a big fan.
  6. TexBelmont

    EPISODE 114 — Looking For New Friends!

    You guys came so close to making me shit my pants with your "Washboard ass" line. I had a fart chambered, and there was mud behind it, so minimizing release pressure was critical. As soon as I started to fart, you guys made your joke about Dag's stomach tattoo, I cracked up, and farted way too hard. It's the closest I've come to sitting my pants since I shit my pants a few months ago. Keep up the great work!
  7. TexBelmont

    Episode 112 — Red Afro

    I would vote for Whamdango. Putting something in a bear's butthole is clearly great, but going for your own butthole is what sets a proper Whamdango apart. One of the funniest, most creative moments in all of Nerd Poker.
  8. TexBelmont

    The Best Artisan Dice

    I used to play a homemade RPG we called "Fight for Life" with a set of brass dice. They were very heavy (as far as dice go), and they dented the shit out of my friend's dining room table. His mom was none too pleased when she finally noticed. I loved them, though. They made me feel like a man. 25 years later, I'm still trying to find that feeling again... http://shop.coolmaterial.com/products/brass-playing-dice
  9. TexBelmont

    Episode 107 — Sleeping Mario

    I thought the exact same thing, Hunter. Turns out it was an early Christmas present for those of us who get up early on Wednesday to download Nerd Poker first thing. I'll be bummed next week when there's not a fresh episode, but it's worth it for some extra holiday cheer.
  10. TexBelmont

    Anti-Smoking ad

    I don't even remember hearing such an ad. Funny, though, that of all the horrible and offensive (and hilarious) things they say on this podcast, an anti-smoking ad was where you chose to draw the line. I'm guessing that you have some sort of personal connection to the content, which is why you're sensitive to it. In other words, you're the problem here. Cool out, Nancy. Hopefully your delicate sensibilities will recover, and you'll be back to being a precious snowflake in no time.
  11. TexBelmont

    Episode 103 — Whamdango!

    I agree that they need to roll up characters of their own to join the party full time. After all, despite his admonition, I've forgotten about Jerry at this point. Also, major props on Blaine's callback late in the episode, where the giant had a chance at smelling Winter, on account of his fingers having been in his ass earlier in the day. Great, great work, as usual. Keep up the hilarious podcasting, guys. I love it!
  12. TexBelmont

    Episode 102 — Wave that Pajuvi

    Lots of great laughs in this episode! Magic Missile may forever be called "Whamdango!" And when they were talking about marking the building with a cock, a comment was made that they'd be awakened by some giant sticking his dick through a hole in the wall... I laughed so damn hard! After 102 episodes, the folks on my mail route must think that Wednesday is "Maniacal Laughter Day." Keep up the great work! p.s. It would be interesting to tie this timeline into the other timeline by having them find a Collector ship at the dock. Probably won't happen, but there's been a lot of talk about stowing away, and that's how the last campaign started.
  13. TexBelmont

    Unexpected New Episode

    Nevermind. I think my iTunes has gone wacky.
  14. TexBelmont

    Unexpected New Episode

    1 - Let the Game Begin! Uh, thanks for giving me something on Sunday that I was anxiously awaiting next Wednesday. I haven't listened yet. Anybody know the scoop?
  15. TexBelmont

    Episode 90 — Smell The Weird Rope

    The invasion of the fish seems like a good attempt at a story line, but I'm not sure this ragtag group has the confidence needed to take them on. Fish Army seems nearly as large, motivated, and slimy as the KISS Army. It does seems that Blaine wants them to stay put, which is why he said the Roc was tired and needed to rest before traveling on. Blaine finally has an idea for a larger scale campaign, and it would be just like the Nerd Poker crew to fly away from his carefully crafted story line.