Cameron H.

I guess we can talk about it more when it comes up. I’m a hard “no.” If enough of us want to skip it, then we’ll move on to the next one.

I also forgot about Reindeer Games and Star Wars Holiday special. Oh, and just a head’s up, I don’t think I’m going to watch Sucker Punch. I’ve tried before and it’s not for me. If you guys want to do it, though, that’s cool. I’ll jusg sit out that month.

Do you guys want to go out of order and do either Jingle all the Way, Jack Frost, or Deck the Halls next month?

I like Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: movie and book.

Then I guess the question is, who would win in a fight: Jane Austen or Emily Brontë? No superpowers.

Look, I'm not trying to give this bubbling bucket bilious boogers too much credit, but I do think there's something interesting about Violet's name, specifically, her full name -Violet Song Jat Sharif. It's an oddly specific name and I wondered what it's significance was. The most obvious thing to note is the multiculturalism of her name. Violet is European; Song can be either Korean or Chinese; Jat is from North Indian/Afghanistan; and Sharif is Arabic. Considering most names - particularly middle names - are family names, it suggests that Violet has a pretty diverse background. What I'm not sure of, though, is this whether this diversity is specific to her or whether it is indicative of society as a whole. If the latter, I suppose that gives us some reassurance that - despite the constant threat of pathogenic hemophages - society has finally come together and gotten over its petty bigotry. I also found the specific names to be interesting. For instance, Violet and Song seem to invoke delicacy and grace - representing both aural and visual beauty. On the other hand, according to Wikipedia, "Jat" seems to refer to an "ethnic group of itinerant travelers found in Afghanistan." The name is apparently derogatory term and wouldn't be used by the people themselves. Wikipedia explains that it would be the equivalent of calling Romany "Gypsies." And finally, in contrast to that, "Sharif" is an Arabic name that means "highborn" or "noble." So, basically, when you put all her names together, she is a "nomadic Queen full of beauty and grace." I'm starting to think that this guy is whatever the opposite of an idiot savant might be. A genius dilettante?

Is Pride & Prejudice everyone's favorite Jane Austen novel? If not, what is? If it is, what's your second favorite? I'd say Pride is definitely my number one, but I've always had a soft spot for Northanger Abbey.

At the risk of given this teaming tureen of turds too much credit, I do think I have an in-universe explanation for the dreadlocked and rat-tailed vampires. Historically, one of the benefits of having short hair in the military is to prevent exactly what happens in this movie. Long hair is incredibly grabable. It makes absolutely no sense to provide your opponent such an easily exploited weakness. The fact that these specific hemophages have allowed their hair to grow so long speaks volumes about who they are, or at least, who they're supposed to be. If this were a video game, these dudes would be the boss battle. Their hairlength implies a confidence in their lethality that should be terrifying. It’s a way of getting into their opponent’s head. It’s saying, “I’m so deadly I can afford to be reckless.” This also means, by the Transitive Law of Buttkicking, that by defeating them, Violet is even more badass. They only reason I’m not difinitvely asserting that this is what’s happening as it assumes a level of consideration and competance that's not really evident in the rest of the film. I’m sure that the director just thought the hair fight would “look cool,” but if he ever wants to use my theory in the future, he’s welcome to it.

Near the end of the movie there is a moment where Violet notices her hand is gushing blood. I'm not sure exactly what happened to her, and I really don't care enough to try and find out, but the wound looks pretty bad. Anyway, she looks at this gaping wound for a moment, fires her weapon for about three seconds, and presses the gun barrel into her hand. There is a sizzling sound and she screams in pain. Now, there's not an exact temperature one would need to cauterize a wound, except to say - the worse the wound, the more heat required. In this instance, I would argue that her wound looks pretty significant, and the fact that her skin actually sizzles, tells me that it's pretty fucking hot, so..... I don't know, guys. Sure the guns are cool and all, but I just feel like carrying around firearms capable of generating enough heat to cauterize a wound after only a short burst is kind of crazy. There's just too much of a chance that you're going to seriously burn yourself or someone else. And what if Six accidentally gets a hold of it? Why doesn't anyone ever think about the children?

We're happy you started commenting here, too

For me, one of the more ridiculous moments was when Violet drives to the ArchMinistry to demand the antidote from Daxus. She drives wildly through the (surprisingly) empty streets of Future City, skids to a dramatic stop about 30 yards from Daxus, opens the door to the car with a dramatic flourish - brandishing her sword and gun - and has a long, low volume conversation with Daxus which ends with him and his soldiers shooting the shit out of her car. It's at this point that we learn (uh-oh!), she was a hologram the whole time! Whoa there, movie. Let's examine this logically. First of all, sure, I can buy a self-driving car. We already have them. No big deal. However, what I do have a problem with is that there would be a pre-programmed setting that allows for casual stunt driving through city streets. Next, her goddamn hologram opens the door! Let me just repeat that. Her hologram...opens a door. An intangible image...interacts with a physical object. And, yes, I have considered that, perhaps, the self-driving car might have automatic doors, but that means two things: A) that, again, these cars have a very specific "I'm pissed off and want this door to fling open dramatically" setting, and B ) she would have had to reherse that exit at least a couple of times to make it look believable. This also means, since this is a hologram and not some prerecorded simulation, that when she flourishes that sword and gun as she exits the car, she was across the street acting all this shit out - which is straight up bananas to imagine. Did she really think, "If I don't leap out of this car like a spasmatic psychopath, they're not going to buy my charade?" Which brings me to the conversation itself. How are they even talking to one another? Daxus is nearly a hundred feet away from her! The phone is in the car. So you're telling me that he can speak at a normal volume, in a windy courtyard, and she's receiving him loud and clear? How is her voice being projected? Certainly not through a fucking hologram. Am I supposed to believe that that stupid, card stock cellphone is capable of cranking out some eardrum decimating decibles? I have a hard time believing any consumer advocacy groups would allow that. And finally, what's even the fucking point? She goes there, demands the antidote, and...then what? She already knows he's surrounded by guards at the ArchMinistry. She walks away from that conversation having gained absolutely nothing - at least not anything that would help her tactically or strategically. And what if her threats had worked? It's not like the hologram would be able to take the antidote. So dumb. This movie was the worst!

I just wanted to thank Cinco for a great pick! I can't wait to find out what Kate has in store for us

Almost done with the episode, and I’m starting to think they should have done Pixels instead.

You were a fantastic researcher!

Find a gif and copy the image address. Then come here and type [img] the address [/img] Let me know if that doesn't work. I'm not sure about the profile pic, though...

Not really. Just know that you’re our new Messiah until the white wolf howls at the Blood Moon. Unless, of course, Mr. Engler slaps you with the “inky cuttlefish” gif at which point we switch off the role of Savior of the Syncopated Heart every hour on the hour for a fortnight...as long it isn’t a month that ends in an “R” - in which case you have to disregard everything that I just wrote, run to the nearest train station high on the effects of a hallucinogenic toad and await further instructions. They will be delivered in the bridle of an albino thestral with a gimpy leg. Don’t listen to Chad, his limp is an affectation. The albino thestral you’re looking for goes by the name “Goose.” Pretty standard stuff really...

Cool! Thanks for hosting, Cam! You’re a pip!

Thanks, Dan! I’m sorry I jumped the gun. I didn’t mean to cause confusion and delay.

Awww, man! My thread got the boot

Don’t forget! This happens tonight! Drink coffee...

Sorry, I can’t remember what it was actually called, but they also did that 100 Days of Positivity Thing at the beginning of the year which was quite nice. When everything seemed to be at its most bleak, they were at least trying to sow some optimism and bridge divides. They seem like genuinely nice people - Jason included.

I couldn't agree more!

It depends what type of movie it is. If they are riffing a blockbuster (which, sadly, they do less and less of these days) then, yes you have to own the movie. But if it's some B Movie from 20 years ago, they do it as VOD. Although, it is worth it sometimes to buy a movie you otherwise wouldn't to listen to the riffs. It's the only reason I own the entire Twilight saga.