Cameron H.

So I was just reading up on this whole King Arthur clusterfuck going on right now, and it got me curious. Just because a movie flops doesn't necessarily mean that it's "bad." So to the group, are there any big, box office flops that you actually enjoy? For me, I'd say: (In case that image isn't working, my pick was John Carter) Granted, I'm not saying it's the best movie in the world, but I've seen it twice and enjoyed it both times. Also, I'm not sure if would be considered a "flop" necessarily (certainly a disappointment) but I really like Cowboys and Aliens and I have unironically watched it many times. What about everyone else?

Only physically.

Not until I was older, but I ASSume that's the case for a lot of kids. BUT To each their own...

What's weird is as I've gotten older I've developed a whole new appreciation for pie crust. I used to avoid it like the plague. Now, I truly get how the crust ties the whole ensemble together.

Anything? What about...

And his idiot second cousin is Pat Rat...

Taylor, in regard to your fifth point, were the people addicted to Zydrate or getting surgery (surgery)? Or was it just a vicious cycle?

Wrong again - LOL! There are three scenes with fireworks - after their first kiss, the sex scene, and at the end. During the sex scene, there is a shot from outside (from the driveway) with the fireworks going off in the same position as the end of the film. It may even be the same exact shot. (It happens around the 5:26 mark) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60nCYdsECcw&t=176s&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D60nCYdsECcw%26t%3D176s&has_verified=1 Face it, Willow just really likes the fact her dad's getting some action.

Strongly disagree! As distasteful you might find Willow's personal investment in her father's sex life, they are one hundred percent going upstairs to do it. He tells her knowingly "We're going upstairs to get some 'sleep'" at which point Willow replies. "Oh, I get it.." The fireworks are only used in the movie after kissing and sex. There's no evidence that they are meant to represent anything other than carnal pleasure. Although, initially, since she didn't appear to be with him, I thought the fireworks might have been due to a little "pre-game" action Aykroyd had going on that went awry...if you know what I mean. Also, Celeste was playfully lying to Willow at the end. Willow was disappointed that she lost her powers. The dunk was to say "j/k - I still have some powers. Our life together is going to be great...until you grow old and die."

See, I just took that to mean that her "playing human" was just a temporary situation and they'd probably be back to collect her in the sequel: My Half-Brother is a Dick in a Handbag. The point is, everyone is doomed to death and decay.

What if the penises are the ones who developed their cloning technology employed by Celeste's people? Perhaps they are withholding ("clutching?") this information deep within their purse scrotums and holding the rest of her society hostage?

I know a lot of people who would be very open to the whole "portable penis" setup.

Maybe three thousand years ago their penises developed sentience so they decided to cut them off and carry them around in purses?

I was reviewing the sex scene (That doesn't sound right...) because I thought there was a moment where Aykroyd sniffs his bed just before Celeste comes out of the bathroom (He doesn't, btw. I guess he's removing lint from his toddler bed or something...), and I found the "3,000 years ago" line! Celeste: Look, that's the weirdest thing I've ever seen... Handbag Dildo: That's why we gave it up three thousand years ago. SO! I guess I'm not crazy! And seeing as the Elders, by my estimation, should be about that old - meaning their society was still having sex during their lifetimes - there is absolutely no reason that they should need Lovitz to come back to their planet and teach them his gross version of the ways of love. In other words: I. Was. Right.

Did it bother anyone else, that no matter how happily the movie wants you to think it ends, Celeste's increased alien lifespan can only mean a future full of heartache, tragedy, and loss as she impotently watches her beloved husband and stepdaughter grow old and infirm before ultimately succumbing to the cruel ravages of time? Ha cha cha, indeed...

When Celeste telekinetically expels Dr. Steve's boss out the window and launches him through the air and into his car, his character utters the immortal phrase, "I've got to get home to that good pie." My question for the boards is, what "good pie" do you hope is waiting for you when you get home? Personally, I'm partial to Key Lime.

How about the fact that when Celeste decides she wants to change outfits Aykroyd suggests she does it in "the backseat of [his] car?" Gross, man. You just met this woman who, based on all outward appearances, is obviously unwell. How about you be a better role model for your impressionable teenage daughter and not take advantage of a woman who's obviously not quite right in the head. Also, they may have brought this up in the episode, but did anyone else feel like Aykroyd's, let's say...enthusiasm, for Celeste was a little disrespectful to his dead wife? I mean, yeah it's been five years, but to tell your daughter, "I've never felt like this about anyone" seems like a really fucked up thing to say to a young child who has lost her mother. Maybe cool it down a bit and try not to look like a Tex Avery wolf cartoon every time Celeste walks into a room...

She'll eat human food but will have to take AAA batteries as a supplement.

Oh...no, that's cool... Ugh! Gross! She may be an alien, but it's clear to me who the monster is.

Wait! Are you referencing my previous post or did you find the "3,000 years ago" line?

But if it was written based on the aliens' usage, and not human usage, wouldn't that be about right?

This should be quite the palate cleanser

This bugged me too! We're told that physiologically she's the same as a human, but she can stick her hand in a pot of boiling water without any adverse effects. Which is it movie: is she basically human or not?

I'm so glad you brought this up, not that I have anything to really add to it specifically, but it gives me a chance to post some math I did for a C&O that turned out to be a dud. I thought the movie said Celeste's people had outlawed sex 3,000 years ago. However, I can't find that quote in the movie anywhere. My point was going to be, if she's nearly 1,300 years old, and the elder's are considerably older than her, they shouldn't need Lovitz to explain sex to them because the Elders should be old enough to remember it. Based on Celeste's estimate that Willow appears to be about 600 years old, and the fact we know Willow is 13 human years, we can determine that Celeste's species age ~1 year for every 46.2 human years (600/13 = 46.153). This seems to be confirmed in that Celeste appears to be approximately a little more than twice as old as Willow (600 x 2 = 1200; 13 x 2 = 26) Granted, Basinger was 35 when this movie was made, but I have no problem that she's playing ~27. So, armed with this information, I divided 3,000 by 46.2 Earth years to determine whether the Elders could have theoretically been alive when sex was still legal in their society. This number came to about 65 years old - which seems about right for their ages, but might be cutting it close in terms of having personal experience with sex. Of course, all this turned out to be for naught anyway when I couldn't find the line about outlawing sex 3,000 years ago. The closest I came was a line about their culture being 5,500 years more advanced than ours, which was not only a bummer, but also further disproved my theory. Still, if anyone ever wanted to know how their age corresponds to the aliens' ages in My Stepmother is an Alien, now you know.