Cameron H.

You know what's crazy? After Charles kills Mr. Fallows, he comes home and his mother sees the nasty, open wound on his wrist. Even though she immediately freaks out over it, she doesn't bother to stitch it up until the next day! Literally, just before Tanya shows up for their date. Do you want to know what Charles and his mother did during the interim? Had sex. You know what's even grosser than incest? Incest with a gaping, festering wound gushing blood all over the place. Also, way to notice the stitches on your date's wrist, Tanya. Sure, you notice that the Trans Am is missing but not the fresh, unbandaged injury on his arm? Nice.

I know there was some talk about Tanya doing some foolish stuff during the movie like checking to see if Charles was okay after knocking him out, but for me, nothing beats this: Tanya, taking a long bath after nearly losing her life essence to the (still on the loose) Andy Gibb looking cat monster, hears a commotion coming from downstairs. A commotion that, oddly enough, sounds remarkably like her father getting clocked upside the head by a glass vase and hurled bodily into an end table. Of course, this is no need for alarm. She continues getting ready for a good night's sleep. She's exhausted, after all, and it has been a long day... She then hears raised voices. One sounds like her mother. She sounds panicked--upset. Moments later, her mother's voice is silenced by the distinct sound of a middle-aged woman being tossed out of a picture window. Curious, Tanya decides to investigate. Sure, this could be the insane, shape shifting monster that tried to kill her a couple of hours ago, but it could just as easily be your normal, everyday glass shattering ruckus. Who's to say? Bottom line: she's no dummy. She calls from the top of the stairs, "Mommy? Daddy?" Nothing. Well, not nothing exactly. I guess six gunshots and the sound of the resulting carnage as bullets rip apart her grandmother's priceless Hummel figurines is something. The point is, the results of her investigation have proven inconclusive. She decides she'll just have to go down there and find what's up with all that racket... Oops! Monster mom. "Next time," she thinks to herself ruefully, "Next time for sure I'll use the ample time allotted to me to escape and get help instead of investigating the suspicious sounds of violence coming from downstairs. You won't fool me twice..."

Could be...Maybe romance is like a seasoning? Like, he was dead at the end of the movie but a slow dance was enough to resurrect him...

When Tanya drops by Charles' house unexpectedly for their date, why don't they just kill her right then and there? I mean, the movie plays with it a bit with sinister glances and threatening music, but ultimately, what they really seem to want to do is rush her out the door so that she can murdered in a public. Seriously, her coming over like that is best case scenario for them! They steal her sparkle, engage in some revitalizing monster incest, and can still establish an alibi by dropping by her parent's house to "pick her up" for their date. But instead of rejoicing at their good fortune, Charles actually seems nervous that either his mother is going to try something untoward or Tanya will discover their secret. Um, who cares, bro? Isn't the plan to kill her? You are in a private residence with your mom for backup. This could not be going better for you. At first I thought it was because the purple sex power came from a willing virgin, but based on what goes down at the cemetery, that certainly doesn't seem to be the case. And then I thought maybe there was some unexplained rule about it having to be done on holy ground or something, but the girl at the beginning of the movie was found in their house, so that doesn't seem to be the case either. They just seem to be going to the cemetery because he made plans with Tanya to go there and he likes to honor his commitments. I honestly think there was an earlier draft of this movie in which Charles actually is in love with Tanya. There are a couple of times in the movie where this is teased that it might be the case, and it would explain how the villain of the movie is kind of treated like the hero. My guess is that when he attacks and scratches her at the cemetery, she was supposed to turn into a Sleepwalker, too. Once she had accepted this change of life, Charles and Tanya would have teamed up against his mother and the two would have left town to live happily ever after. However, I think they ran into the pretty insurmountable issue of making an incestuous killer/rapist a viable love interest for Tanya. Once they realized they weren't going to be able to effectively pull off that little bit of insanity, they decided to make Charles go straight up Loony Tunes. This would also explain why our main character (for lack of a better word) is essentially out of commission during the final Act of the movie. Once the love story was written out, there was no longer a place for him within the narrative.

Great episode! First of all, I hate to bum out June, but there's no getting around it--Charles and his mother are 100% blood related. If they were only related in a vampiric "one monster can create another monster" type of way, there's no reason that they should be worried about being the last two Sleepwalkers. If she had the ability to turn some random teenager into her monster-son, then there's absolutely no reason why she couldn't just do that again. Further evidence can be found in his short story where Charles writes, "Feeding on virtue. Loving to feed. Feeding to breed" which seems to confirm that Sleepwalkers reproduce sexually. (Also, did he really just read a story about mother-son incest to a classroom full of teenagers? That seems like it would have gotten a little more of a reaction...) Anyway, my theory is, his father died long ago, and because they can't find any other Sleepwalkers, they've turned to incest as a means to perpetuate the species, and after awhile, they just sort of...started to get into it? But, speaking of feeding, I don't really get it. Charles and his mother seem to be eating a lot. He eats popcorn at the movies and his mother always seems to be making these elaborate meals for the two of them ("Roast chicken with cranberry dressing. Pumpkin pie for dessert.") Plus, doesn't he eat Mr. Fallows? It seems weird that they can eat regular food and people, but they starve if they don't suck purple sex light out of a virgin's mouth. There's just too much going on with them! Why aren't there any ground rules?

I haven't finished listening to the episode yet, but I found it crazy that Jason had a problem with her listening and dancing to "Do You Love Me?" in the movie. I thought it was common knowledge that all the kids to ...

You're a monster! No one deserves that. No one.

So they get "Cat Scratch Fever?" That's a real shitty way to go.

It's weird that the definition for Sleepwalker at the top of the movie says that they are "Nomadic" when (according to Charles Brady's short story anyway) the reason they move around so much is because they are chased out of town. Wouldn't that be like saying, "My wife discovered the torrid affair I was having with the pool boy so I immigrated to the La Quinta Inn?"

But unfortunately, by Forum Law, that does mean someone has to go. CakeBug, we'd like to have a word with you...

Soda. And I too only drink the ones that hold advanced degrees.

Nope. I just don't drink much period, so I'm not even curious about different flavored stuff.

Just the thought of that...

You Googled it too!!!!

No, no, no--not by being "pretentious."

Okay, fine...

I'm not saying I don't have any...

I love No Retreat, No Surrender.

Looks delicious!

Tuesday Brewsdays followed by Whoopsy Wednesdays where we apologize to each other profusely for all of our drunken posts and promise each other that we "didn't mean that."

If anything, I'm Nightwing (AKA Best Robin, Better Batman). Someone else can be your alcoholic Robin.

God, you sound insufferable...

Well, the beer better be from local breweries or no dice!