Cameron H.

To me, that's the problem with some of these movies. I really like picking apart movies for logical inconsistencies, but as soon as you introduce an unreliable POV character suffering from hallucinations, there's not much you can say. Cage's actions, accents, or mannerisms? Pretty much anything he does or says in this movie can be explained away as, "Well, he's crazy." In a way, it's the same problem I had with Gods of Egypt (which I did not watch all the way through) since it's about gods. Once you introduce the idea of "anything goes" then, to me, it really punches a hole in any argument you can make against it. Even though I'n glad I finally got to see what all the fuss was about, give me a Safe Haven or a Deep Blue Sea any day over Vampire's Kiss.

Agreed. I don't think anyone is saying, "You shouldn't like this movie." If you find humor and fun in it, that's totally fine. I think most people, like I said before, liked the movie, they just didn't particularly enjoy some parts of it. My feeling was that this was a piece of art. And as with any piece of art, it can be all things to all people--love it or hate it. Whatever. It doesn't really matter. I just think some people leaned more into the "comedy" of the movie and others were more taken with the "horror" aspects of it. Either way, though, is a completely valid viewing of this movie.

I think it's just not explicit. The fact that he hallucinates Beals at that moment and the fact that he rolls off of her like he got off, to me, implies that she was raped. Also, it goes back to Fister Roboto's initial post regarding vampirism as an analog for sex. Whether or not there was actual penetration of a sexual nature is kind of beside the point. She was 100% terrorized and violated.

While I agree with you that much of it is in his head, she does eventually find it--which leads directly to her rape. I actually think that at some point in the movie he stops going to his psychiatrist altogether, and probably goes off his meds, and the scenes with her are all in his head--especially the scene where he calls her up in the middle of the night. I mean, seriously. Are you telling me this psychiatrist just gives her home number to her patients? Of course not. This is why the psychiatrist's lover is introduced out of nowhere. It's his mind saying, "Everyone is in a wonderful relationship except for me."

The thing with the whole rabies argument is according to the CDC, "most bats don't carry the disease." I even remember a Biology teacher of mine back in High School telling us that you needn't worry about being bitten by a bat with rabies, because due to the erratic nature of rabies symptoms, they wouldn't be coordinated enough to fly toward you and bite you. The bats you have to be worried about are the ones flapping around on the ground. Don't pick those fuckers up. This isn't to say that him getting rabies from a bat wasn't the filmmaker's intention, just that it's an unlikely real world scenario.

You're right. I just re-watched that scene, He does leave with her and that is his sock. Good eye I revised that theory in my original post, hopefully it makes more sense now.

I actually have a theory about that. I was going to include it in my previous post, but I recognize that I tend to go on and on sometimes... If we accept that this movie is about a man's frustrations about being unable to fulfill his unrealistic fantasies--especially as it pertains to finding a romantic partner--then his treatment of Alva is the inverse of that. He feels powerless and miserable that he can't be with who he wants, so to make himself feel better, he finds a person he thinks he has control over and does the same thing to her. That's why her being the very last person on the office's ladder is so important to him--since rape is rarely about sex and almost always about power. I actually would have liked for her to be the one to kill him in the end since that would show that she wasn't as powerless as he thought. I guess her power comes from the strength and support she gets from her brother..? Which I admit isn't quite as satisfying, but I suppose it's something. But yeah, Cage's character was such a lowlife creep that he was almost impossible to follow. I was like, "Am I supposed to be rooting for this guy? I thought this was supposed to be a comedy like Once Bitten or Rockula."

Yes, you are 100% correct. I haven't had a chance to listen to the episode yet, but I am astounded that there seems to be some kind of confusion about this. In fact, I'd say that's where the "horror" comes from. Vampires aren't scary, because they don't exist; however, the idea that a person can become so deranged as to think they're a vampire is truly unsettling since that actually could happen. I think the real question is: why does he go crazy? As far as I can tell, this movie seems to be be about unrequited love, that leads an already troubled individual, down a dangerous path of obsession. The movie starts with Cage talking to his psychiatrist and he is telling her a story she seems all too familiar with--he met a woman, took her home, and made it clear to her the next day, that it was nothing more than a one night stand. However, there is a tinge of regret to Cage's story and he basically ends the session. Next, he meets another woman at the bar. He takes her home, and just as they are about to have sex, a bat flies in through the window and interrupts them. A regular, run-of-the-mill bat. And although this is an unusual thing to happen, there's nothing supernatural about it. The "battle to the death" with the bat then increases his testosterone level, which combines with his pre-existing arousal and confuses his mind. Somehow, he conflates the oddity of the bat with the woman he's obsessed with which leads him to "vampire.". This is where the movie takes a bit of a left turn, since any rational person would never come to this conclusion, but Cage's character is in no way rational. Perhaps it's because a womanizer like himself could never accept that a woman could ever hold that much power over him that his boo-coo-bananas mind automatically goes to a supernatural explanation... Throughout the rest of the movie, Cage is fixated on Beals' character--just some stranger who seems to frequent the same clubs as him and who also appears to already be in a loving relationship. This seems to be what Cage ultimately wants. This is why, randomly, one of his delusions is of the happily married cab driver and his wife. In fact, he seems to be assaulted with couples wherever he turns. It's also why, in his final delusion, he is presented with the "perfect" woman. You killed a person? No big deal. You raped someone? That's okay. I love you for who you are. The problem is, at this point, Cage has pedestalized Beals to such a crazy extent, that he can't even accept a woman his own mind makes up--even if she is "perfect." And this is why, by the time he makes it back to his home, he is already abusing his new "girlfriend." Basically, while this movie takes it to an absurd extreme, the movie is positing, if you idealize someone--especially someone unavailable--you're only going to drive yourself crazy. This also explains the subplot regarding the files which mirrors this crisis. Cage is obsessing about something that is alluding him (the files) even though the other party (the author) is ultimately indifferent to his fixation. The irony is, assuming Cage's character was a sane and likeable person to begin with, the woman Cage brings home with him at the beginning of the movie actually seems to be well-suited for him. But because he is so wrapped up in his fantasies of this unattainable woman, he completely misses out on what could have been a good and meaningful relationship Overall, I liked the movie, but didn't exactly enjoy it. I thought Cage was awesome in it, but it's not something I'd revisit anytime soon. Like Bonjourjamie said earlier, I really wanted this movie to take me out of the funk I've been in since Tuesday, and a disturbing movie about going insane and raping your employee isn't exactly what I was looking for. I thought it was going to be a comedy, but I was legitimately disturbed by it.

My night (as illustrated exclusively in Chris Farley gifs)

A better way this morning could have started:

Has everyone had the chance to see the new Wonder Woman trailer? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q8fG0TtVAY This looks much better to me than the first one...Oh God. I'm starting to hope again.

Before I forget...I wish you all a Merry 31st of October. May your enemies wet themselves in public and your markers always smell sweet.

It's from Harry Potter.

CORRECTION: Paul is on the record stating that one of the signs you're watching a bad movie is when someone starts skateboarding. Well, I just got through watching Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed and there were at least TWO instances where a character either skate or snow boards and that movie was fucking rad. This may be a case of the exception proving the rule, but I feel like his list might be in need of a revision.

That was my thought too! Theoretically, you should have been able to connect Waffle Fucker to Percy Jackson and had the same result. I also think this would have been far more interesting. But, from what I saw, I was like, "Why are they all about Kable? Shouldn't they be cheering the gamer him/herself?" That would be like beating Mario Bros and forming a cult around Mario Mario.

Now, this may have been already addressed in the movie or in the episode, but I'll throw it out there anyway... I have to question the efficacy of Slayers as a tool for rehabilitation. Basically, they take already violent criminals, subject them to months of psychological trauma, train them on the use of advanced weaponry, and if they prove to be the most resilient and the best at murdering people, they are...set free? Wow. That's incredibly dumb. I mean, an otherwise non-violent person who commits manslaughter or a crime of passion, could theoretically come out of Slayers as a full-blown, murderous, psychopath. It's almost like the writers didn't put any thought into their half-baked, one-note movie about futuristic video games.

Posted this in the wrong place... I'll put something here in a second. As promised...

Shit, this all sounds like classic Hufflepuff denial to me. Although, I can't say I blame you. My American house is Wampus, but I don't really know what that means. I think it means I'm a Warrior Poet or something...kind of like Dom.

Hell yeah! What's your wand like? I'm packing fourteen and a half inches. Redwood. Unicorn hair. Unyielding. No big deal.

Everyone's done this by now, right? For the record, I'm a Ravenclaw with a Sparrowhawk patronus. What did everyone else get?

So, wait. Lag is an actual conflict in this movie? God this movie is dumb.

Fuck! I wish I could make it. I was hoping to get all of your opinions on my Mathilda May costume...

Oh, damn! I thought we lost you, man! Welcome back!

I 100% agree with you! It just wasn't fun for me at all. I got about 20 mins in and quit. It's just fucking obnoxious and hateful.