Cameron H.

That's more or less what I heard about Auckerman's story. I am hoping to pick them both up tomorrow. Yeah, Drax is alright, I guess. I liked him okay during DnA's run on Guardian's of the Galaxy, but that was more because the book was just that good. As far as Ant-Man...Hank Pym's history is pretty suspect and I admit I don't know very much about Scott Lang. I will tell you this though, Marvel has been really smart about how they've been handling his integration into the MCU. And casting Paul Rudd was a stroke of genius. Also, even though it's been out for awhile--for those who haven't read it yet--Paul's Aliens vs. Parker was quite good and tons of fun. I couldn't recommend it more.

Has anyone read this yet? I'm pretty apathetic about Drax and Ant-man, but hopefully, if the sales are strong enough, we can maybe get Scheer on a Speedball ongoing.

Okay, I see how it is...I offer an olive branch and you come with the heat. Well, as previously established on these forums, there's only one way to settle these types of disputes. That's right! Strap on your dancing shoes, Tayloranne! It's dance-fighting time, and me and my posse have been rehearsing all day.

I'm really excited for Runaway. It's been awhile! (♫♪), since they've done a movie that I've never even heard of. This one seems pretty promising... Plus, we can all discuss how remarkably well Tom Selleck has aged and how poorly Gene Simmons has...

That's just how it is, man. Sometimes when he starts to read one of mine I'm just thinking, "Oh no! Not that one! There's a parenthetical! He'll never make it!" I think it's hilarious. I will say though, I am glad that he or Nate chose my Donatello post. I was hoping it would get chosen just because I knew he was going to have trouble with the word "perspicacity." I was not disappointed.

Paul: "Taylorannephoto, becoming the next Cameron H, I might add" Whoa, whoa, whoa--hold on a second! Tayloranne, we're going to have to do something about this. The way I see it we can either do pistols at dawn or--better yet--we can join forces! Together there will be no power in the universe that can stop us! It's your choice, so consider carefully...

Sweet Jesus, I'm out of touch! Please tell me the kids are at least still "gettin' jiggy wit it..."

Hey now, it's obvious Jason expects us all to be discourteous, irrational little monsters to one another on the forums. I don't know that we should let him down... I say, let's do this shit!

You know what? I honestly don't mind it.... That isn't to say I think it's a masterpiece or anything, I'm just saying that the kids in the video look to be having a good time (as opposed to the Coming out of Their Shells kids), and to me, that's really the most important thing. The Partners in Kryme guys seem to be out there doing something positive, and I'm all for people doing whatever they can to make people happy--even if it may seem a little silly. I mean, hey, it's just me and my three-year-old son over here, but if he wants to go see Partners in Kryme perform "Turtle Power" and "Rock the Half-shell," not only would I take him, I'd get all crunk up in that piece. And sorry man, but I can't get behind you on the Kevin Eastman thing either. First of all, I doubt he got paid to be in a Partners in Kryme video, and secondly, if I were him, I would 100% do it. Shit man, if I could get a book published and have it be a tenth as successful as TMNT, I'd be so grateful I'd do just about anything anyone wanted of me. "You want to write a song about characters I made up? That's awesome! Just tell me what you want me to do. Lip sync and look awkward? I can do that!"

Nope, still gross.

What impresses me (and granted, it doesn't take much), is when I watched this movie I seriously didn't think we'd have anything really to say about it. Honestly, it felt like pretty slim pickings. I figured by the time the episode was over there really wouldn't really be much left meat on the bones and we'd get about twenty posts that were variations of "The episode was great, the movie was dumb." However, not only has everyone had awesome comments about this movie, but it is currently the second highest posted upon episode thread! It's only behind Jupiter Ascending and passed The Marriage Councilor today--which for the longest time was the thread to beat. I'm not sure if that's just due to more people posting now or what, but it's pretty awesome (again, it takes very little to impress me). So, in all seriousness, thank you all for all of the comments and discussions--even you jokers who don't read the thread and post the same thing over and over. You all make my workweek infinitely more palatable, and I'm glad we all have this arena to geek out together. So, from me to all of you, a sincere, and sexy, round of applause.

I agree, there's no way they got passed this guy...

I don't know if it's been brought up already, but when she uses the maxi pad to bandage his wound she doesn't use the absorbent side... Sheesh!

Yeah, I would say Raph is definitely the most independent of the four, but to identify him as the leader (as the song does*) is a mistake. Leo is supposed to be the leader, but he really drops the ball in this movie. As I am historically a Leonardo fan, I've been giving him a pass thus far, but in all fairness, I really should point out that in this movie, he really sucks at leading. For instance, I really enjoyed the scene where they are slogging around the sewers looking for a new home and Raph says, "Even you could come up with a better plan than this!" Leonardo replies, "I already have!" and his great plan is...to keep slogging around in the sewers? Also, there's a point in one of the fights (I think in the club) where someone does something to anger someone (I'm not looking it up) and when whomever it is they are fighting turns to engage them, Leo yells out, "It was him!" and runs away like a little bitch. Throwing your brother under the bus, huh? Leo truly is a beacon of leadership. I think the only time he does anything remotely leaderly is at the club and he calls for the "Wishbone Crunch." This is when the four turtles smash their shells together and take out Shredder's second in command. I have to say, I would have really loved to be a fly on the wall when they came up with that tactic: Leo: "So guys, if we're ever in a situation where we are fighting a single, unarmed opponent who isn't fighting back I'm going to call for the 'Wishbone Crunch.' This is where we'll all spin around and smash our asses into him." Donnie: "Do we really need to have a name for that?" Leo: "Yes. Yes we do." *I have to say, after all the talk of the about it, I actually have downloaded the Partners in Kryme song. And i am seriously close to downloading a couple of songs from the Coming Out of Their Shells album. I think this movie might be making me go off the rails... (help me)

Beat me to it.

Fair enough, but...the episode was recorded sometime in May, at 10PM, on apparently a rainy night. Given those factors, I think shorts would be a bit weird. Also, you're going out, dress up a bit. Show respect for yourself and the performers. If I am ever so fortunate to go to a HDTGM live show, I promise to go full suit. Like this classy gentleman: But who knows...Maybe this can be the forum firestorm Jason was begging for. How about it, guys? Shorts or no shorts? Let's really tear each other apart!

Oh crap, guys! Looks like you're in some hot water with the fat cats over at Big Shorts. Watch yourselves.

Could this be the secret of the ooze? (Ah fuck...I'm sorry, guys. You know I try not to wear blue, but I just couldn't resist.) Fuck yeah it is!

Is it possible that Turtle-Michelangelo was just over compensating to hide his own latent homosexuality? Then the connection with the historical Michelangelo would be much stronger.

Oh, the dandelion thing is just stupid. At this point in the movie, the Foot aren't even actively looking for the ooze! The Foot soldier was just there to follow April as a means to get to the Turtles. I mean, please correct me if I'm wrong. So he gets a job on her crew, sneaks off, finds a largish flower, identifies it by scent, and brings it back to the Shredder, who says, "Then it's time to find out exactly what this ooze can do!" Again, correct me if I missed something, maybe it's in the first film, but is there any reason why the Shredder would make the connection that the ooze is the thing that created the Turtles? It's not like the flowers are anthropomorphized, they're just kind of bigger than normal. How do they know they haven't just got a hold of some really effective fertilizer? They then kidnap the Doctor and have him inject that shit right into two poor, defenseless animals. But again, the Doctor hasn't met the Turtles yet, so how would he know what it would do? And isn't the ooze just a byproduct of whatever they were doing? But wait, maybe he does know what the ooze does....What if, as a part of TRGI's clean up efforts, they have been killing off baby mutant animal-people to cover their tracks... Holy shit. This just got dark...

Hey, Auden! Yeah, I would agree with you from a historical standpoint, and if that were the reason posited in the movie, I would have bought that. The problem is that’s not the reason the movie puts forward. In the movie Splinter says, “Now the outside world beckons your teenage minds, but they can never understand. Their world can never be ours.” My argument is: they seem to be positively drowning in “understanding.” Everyone they meet immediately accepts and loves them. So hiding from the world kind of seems silly, again, as far as the movie is concerned. To sixgunbuddy’s point regarding keeping their identities secret to avoid experimentation, I get that as well, but again, there isn’t any “in universe” evidence to support that this would be an issue. In fact, in David Warner’s character, they have a character in the movie who could directly address this. The ooze that created them is a direct result of experiments his company was conducting, yet he doesn’t ask them for so much as a blood sample? I mean, really? That’s not even invasive. You’d think just out of scientific curiosity he’d ask for that. Then again, the libido of his scientific curiosity seems to be so flaccid that when his company loses a canister full of hazardous goop down the city's sewer he does absolutely nothing! Oh, he knows it fell into the sewer, he tells them as much when he first meets them, yet he didn’t do a damn thing to try and retrieve it. Seriously, that’s taking apathy to a whole new level!

So I have some questions regarding Keno and pizza delivery that I will hope lead to broader questions regarding the Turtles and their place in the world… So at the beginning of the movie, Keno is jumped by some thugs while on his way to deliver pizzas to April O’Neil. The Turtles step in, save him, and when he is free he discovers that the pizzas in the warmer bag are gone and money has been left to pay for for the pizzas. My question is, and I have never delivered pizzas so forgive me, doesn’t he still need to deliver those pizzas to April? I mean, if I intercept the pizza guy on his way to my neighbor’s house and pay for it, does that mean he no longer has a responsibility to deliver it to its intended destination? But that leads me to my second question… I guess we can assume that Keno is smart enough to put two and two together and he's able to figure out that the Turtles are hiding out at April’s apartment. So what does he do when he walks in and sees Raphael’s toe? He stomps the shit out of it. Now, at this point, Keno’s only interaction with the Turtles is when they saved his douchey little life. He has had no issue with the Turtles--they’ve saved his life, and we can only assume, been tipping him pretty well for all the deliveries. Why wouldn’t he just push back the screen and reveal Raph? Why was his immediate response, “This guy saved me, I should probably break his toe?” You’re in a stranger’s apartment! I don’t care what weird-o pets she might have, you can’t just barge into people’s homes and start attacking things. But, of course, that’s when Splinter shows up and calms everyone down. Cut to: a cross-legged Keno gazing up at Splinter with awe and reverence. And this leads me to my biggest question: Why are the Turtles in hiding again? From April and Casey Jones in the first movie, to Keno, the Doctor, Vanilla Ice and everyone at the club in this one, no one seems to give the slightest shit that these guys exist! It really makes you wonder why Splinter is so adamant that they remain in the shadows… Sure there’s a bit of shock when someone first encounters them, but ultimately everyone just accepts and loves them. Why not just send out a video that says, “Hey, we exist. We’re good people. We’re looking out for you?” Is it possible that Splinter is just projecting his own crippling agoraphobia on his sons and is thus depriving them of rich and fulfilling lives?

I encourage your's or anyone else's insight on the topic as I'm not sure how we can effectively discuss this movie if we don't at least consider how it pertains to fine art

Amen, brother! My distaste for all things Donatello can extend beyond fictional reptilian characters. For instance, compare Donatello's "I-don't-know-what-this-is" David... With the far superior, and significantly more badass, David sculpture by Bernini... No fucking comparison. Bernini's David just gave the internet an orgasm, whilst Donatello's David just meekly apologized, assured us that this never happens, and called his mom for a ride home. Let's all just agree right now that a man named Donato di Niccolò di Betto Bardi never existed, thus erasing all future homages to him from the time stream, and we will have the Ninja Turtle Group we deserve: Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Bernini.

I agree that this was a solid joke. Honestly, I think it's so solid that I have to imagine it's something the screenwriter had in the tank and this was his first opportunity to use it, because we really don't see anything on par with it through the rest of the movie. I mean, if we really want to get into dialog, I'd say the dialog in this movie falls into two camps: lines read like the character's are telling a joke (even though there isn't a joke to be found) and nonsensical, time-filling, gibber-jabber. Here's an example of each that made me so crazy I wanted to tear my femoral artery with my finger nails and just slowly bleed out until I drifted into a world devoid of Teenagers, Ninjas, and Turtles (Mutant or otherwise): The Un-joke MICHELANGELO: This way, dude. It ain't the Hilton. Let's face it. You'd be better off staying at the Hilton. Ha, ha, ha? Yeah, that's not a joke. That's not anything--except maybe something you'd read in a Yelp review for Days Inn. He's just sort of...saying things. I mean, the only logical response from the doctor should have been, "You think so? You think hiding in a sewer adjacent, abandoned subway station isn't better than the Hilton? You don't say..." But it's the line delivery that really kills me, it's so "Isn't this hilarious?" No it fucking isn't!!! Look, I'm not saying I can write comedy, but the joke really should have been more along the lines of, "What were you expecting, the Hilton?" Time Wasting Gibber-Jabber FOOT SOLDIER: Welcome to our headquarters... KENO: Okay, looks like this is the place. RAPHAEL: Yeah, looks like it... You know what guys, there's a goddamn reason why this looks like it's the place, because it is the fucking place!!! Not only are there ninjas everywhere, you were just TOLD by a Foot Soldier that it's the fucking place. But here are these two dumb-dumbs, acting like, "I guess this is it...I'm still not sure." It's like the screenwriter felt it needed to be stated three times in quick succession for the stupid audience to get that they were in the bad guy's headquarters. But ultimately, this all brings me to what made me truly sad regarding the script of this movie. By virtue of the amount of choreography needed in this movie and the fact that the animatronic Turtle suits are effectively turning the actors into living cartoons, I cannot believe that there were too many re-writes of the script going on. So any weakness you may find in the script, any stupid jokes that don't land, you know that shit was on the page! And that's a real pet peeve of mine. It's that, "You know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning?" crap that I can't believe makes it through the screenwriter, the director, the producers, the actors, and God knows who else and ends up on screen. If only the craft services guy or key grip would just speak up and say, "You know, that's kind of stupid, guys. You should really consider re-writing that..."