Cameron H.

I think it's the difference between an orgy and intimacy. If everyone is just doing everyone it's sort of superficial and there's a kind of equality. If two people go off to be alone it feels far more like infidelity.

That was troubling for me as well. Like they kept referring to "President Reynolds," who I guess is supposed to be a kind of conservative President Reagan figure. So it's like a Watchman-type thing, but why? Why not mention Reagan by name? It kind of lost myself in its alternate reality type world. And, again, maybe that's the point, but if it is, I don't think it was done all that well. It was like the movie was trying to have its cake and eat it too. This is about David Bowie, but it's not (but it kind of is).

Yeah, I liked a lot of what was going on in the movie. Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure that it added up to much. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to have gotten out of it (if anything), and I'm not sure I know anything more about the whole glam rock thing other than it was a thing that happened and eventually ended. I think I would have appreciated a stronger narrative voice. Something to tell me why these events are so important--especially when they are being removed from the context of a biopic. I think this is partially answered in the end with this exchange: Curt Wild: We set out to change the world... ended up just changing ourselves. Arthur Stuart: What's wrong with that? Curt Wild: Nothing, if you don't look at the world. But I still didn't really get a sense of how anyone has or has not changed.

I picked this image because it is about the worst image you could choose for this movie.

Oh shit! I didn’t realize I (co) won the C&O this week. Uh...I take back everything I said above. Paul’s decisions are flawless. But, seriously, guys. “Lotty?” I’m not even that big of a Fast and Furious fan and I know that’s wrong—lol.

OMG! I don’t mean to dwell on it, but he literally read in the episode my words “The brother says ‘blah, blah, blah’” and then he turns it around and says, “I don’t even get where you’re getting this, Cameron? This is wrong what you’re saying.” I mean, I wasn’t advocating the philosophy of a dumb movie. I was just providing the in-universe answer to a question they had ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I happened to be listening to the episode with my wife which also kind of sucked. BTW, Paul is on her shit list

That sucks, but it definitely happens. He read one of my posts for that Jackie Chan/John Cusack movie and dismissed it as me not backing up what I was saying, but he neglected to read the second paragraph of my post which was exactly the research he was complaining I didn’t have. More recently, he dismissed my Spirit of Christmas post saying I was just pulling shit out of my ass when I was directly quoting the movie. It’s all in good fun though. If you come here regular (which hopefully you will), you experience all this little fumbles. It’s all good

Live from Chicago, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 1996 fantasy adventure film The Adventures of Pinnochio starring Martin Landau and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. They talk about Geppetto and Pinocchio getting in a bathtub, donkey transformations, Pepe the talking cricket, and much more. This episode is brought to you by The Daily Show Podcast Universe, LoveBooks (www.lovebookonline.com/bonkers), and Future Fit (www.future.com/bonkers). Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: http://www.earwolf.com/show/unspooled/ Check out our tour dates over at www.hdtgm.com! Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepubli…wdidthisgetmade Where to Find Jason, June & Paul: @PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter @Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on Twitter

Thank you for listening @Quasar Sniffer! I hope you enjoy the episode. We have a bunch of cool shows coming up. If you want to rebut anything we say, you can Tweet/email us. We record on Saturdays, so if we get your response before then, we'll try to incorporate it into the show. Twitter--@pilotpilots Email--pilotingthepilots@gmail.com. You can also respond here.

Hi Everyone! I just wanted everyone to know that our former podcast, "Magnum, She Wrote," has evolved into a new beast called "Piloting the Pilots." Basically, my wife, Erin, and I watch the first episode of any television show ever made in any genre, and we decide whether it is worth watching based on that first episode alone. No more of this "You have to watch three episodes before it gets good" nonsense--lol. Our first episode under this new format is for The Witcher with Picard coming next week. (Also, every fourth episode will be a review of a Casper Van Dien movie just...because?) No pressure, but if it sounds like something you might be interested in, you can listen on iTunes, Stitcher, and Soundcloud. Sorry to be a shill. Thanks! (I will also make sure the theme music is a bit louder on the second ep

Then there was the one where he entered the pasta eating contest: “Pingnocchi-o”

There’s also the one where he becomes a sad wine drunk called “Pinot-cchio.”

Sorry, I just skipped your pick Congrats on the promotion! I hope you can be around more often. Do you want me to add you to the end of the rotation?

Awesome! I’ve always wanted to see this!

I just wanted to point out the insane amount of money Lorenzini is apparently making off of his transmogrified jackasses. In the movie, he tells his henchmen that he wants them sold to the circus for "20,000 lira each." That is a fucking crazy amount. First of all, 20,000 lira is the exact amount of money the court says Gepetto needs to pay in damages to the bakers, as well as an additional 10,000 lira in court fees. At that point, Gepetto tells the judge that he can't pay that because it's the equivalent of three years wages. That means for someone of Gepetto's modest, middle class income, each weredonkey is worth exactly two years wages! That seems to be pretty fucking excessive for what appear to be some pretty basic-ass donkeys. I actually tried to come up with what the inflation figures would be for that, and while I couldn't get an exact figure, using these two websites, I was able to get a pretty good approximation of how much he was selling each donkey in modern currency. (A couple of caveats. Obviously, Pinocchio takes place in the late 19th Century and I couldn't find a decent inflation calculator that went that far back. I also couldn't anything specific to the lira, but the calculator I did use went back to 1956 with the euro. Of course, the euro wasn't an official currency until 1999, so I am assuming they are making the conversion from lira to euro for me.) In 1956, 20,000 in lira would be worth ~577,081.52 euros. Converted to US dollars, that amounts to about $639,555.14. And, again, I could only go as far back as 1956. It's easy to extrapolate just how much more that would be if you added another 60 years of inflation. So, in essence, Lorenzini is selling each of those donkeys for AT LEAST $600,000 a pop. That's a fuckton of money for a bratty pseudo-donkey. I mean, I'm not advocating what Lorenzini is doing, but I get it.

Did anyone else find it odd that in a story in which one of the major themes is “don’t tell lies,” that at the end of the movie—when Pinocchio tricks Felinet and Volpe into drinking the tainted amusement park water— the lesson Pinocchio appears to have learned isn’t so much ”lying is bad” but rather “when there are zero consequences, you can 100% weaponize lies to exact revenge on those who have wronged you?”

While it all looked like fun and games, even if those boys on Pleasure Island weren't polymorphed into a bunch of donkeys, Recreational Water Illnesses (RWIs) are a real thing and if after drinking a pint of unfiltered amusement park water the worst thing they experience is diarrhea, they can count themselves lucky. Even when properly chlorinated--which I'm guessing 19th-Century tween boy Bacchanalian nightmares probably are not--public water parks are notoriously unsanitary. You can catch anything from Legionnaire's Disease to the norovirus all due to the fact (as the CDC points out) that even with proper wiping, the average person is walking around with about 0.14 grams of fecal matter tightly lodged within their sphincter. So when you enter the water, get splashed, or are otherwise soaked to the bone on one of those wonderful flume rides we all love so much, all that fecal matter diffuses into the water. And while chlorine certainly does help, it can't always take care of *all* of it. So, no, I don't recommend drinking any of the strange water spouting from amusement park fountains.

Did anyone else feel like Pinocchio’s lies at the end of the movie we’re pretty fucked up and cruel? Like, I get that he’s trying to hit the monster’s gag reflex with his massive wooden nose, but there’s no rule in the movie that the growth in his nose has any correlation to the magnitude of the lie he’s telling. Instead of looking his caregiver and guardian in the eye and calling him a piece of trash, couldn’t Pinocchio have just said, “Snow is hot” or something else equally prosaic? Gepetto might be a big old sack of who-gives-a-fuck as a character, but he did risk his life to save your ass, you ungrateful little abomination. He was swallowed by a rival puppeteer. His day has been bad enough.

I get that Felinet and Volpe we’re trying to take advantage of Pinocchio’s naïveté by promising him that if he planted his gold in a cemetery it would multiply; what I don’t understand is why they had him bury it so deep—especially if part of their scheme was to have him stare at a clock for an hour. It’s their con! They could have just as easily suggested six inches instead of six feet. It just seems to be a monumental waste of time and energy when they know they’re going to have to go back and dig it up. I know they’re a couple of unscrupulous con artists, but that’s not really an excuse for shoddy work. No matter your profession, it always pays to work smarter rather than harder.

Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for (woah) We watched:

Following the debacle at the chili pepper incinerated puppet theater, Gepetto is desperate to find his creepy wooden moppet but doesn’t know where to begin his search. Leona, ever the rationalist, starts asking him questions to see if they can’t narrow down where his soulless little abomination might have run off to. After some cajoling, Gepetto says that Pinocchio would go somewhere he “feels safe” and concludes that, because he’s made of wood, Pinocchio would probably feel the safest in the forest. I’m sorry, but I don’t follow that line of thinking at all. Just because he’s predominantly composed of wood, doesn’t mean that somehow being surrounded by trees should have some kind of ataractic effect on him. By that line of thinking, since I’m 60% water, if I’m ever running away from transmogrifying puppeteer hellbent on forcing me into the theater arts, my safe space, and the most logical place for my loved ones to start looking for me, is in the middle of the goddamn ocean. It’s just a bizarre conclusion to draw. Also, in the next scene, I found it super weird when Pinocchio arrives in the forest and he comments on the pleasing smell of the pines. It’s strange because we learned earlier in the film that his name, Pinocchio, is derived from the fact that he’s been carved out of pine. I don’t know why, but that feels incredibly icky to me. It would be like walking into a crowded room and getting off on sniffing other people’s musk.

We used to get together on rabb.it and watch movies together. Sometimes for MM and sometimes for something we used to call HDTGM Classics. Basically, we would get together once a month and watch a HDTGM movie. It was a lot of fun, but the site we used, rabb.it, shut down. We’ve been trying to find something to replace it ever since. Kast looked promising, but I guess not.

I probably won’t be able to make it after all. Sorry! Let me know how it goes.

I won’t be able to stay for the whole thing, but hopefully I can drop in to test it out. Thanks, Cinco!

Just curious, has anyone tried Kast yet? I keep meaning to check it out but keep forgetting. I also saw some people say it’s not that good—that the streaming can be laggy.