Cameron H.

First of all, that's fucking brilliant. Thank you! I knew I could count on your expertise. Secondly, I'm not sure if you were being serious or not, so this is what I think of when I think "emo" --which is, like, all the time. However, come to think of it, is there even a picture on Earth where Paul isn't smiling? Although, it might be funnier if does have a huge grin on his face. And Hot Topic was a store that sold a whole bunch of punk, emo, and goth gear in the mall. Having not been to a mall in years, I honestly don't even know if they are still around. I can only hope not.

No big deal! Yours was much more elegant and eloquent anyway It's better coming from you anyway. It's kind of your "brand" now. I was most surprised by his reading my second one... I felt like I had already got thoroughly put in my place by the forum when I first brought it up, so it was kind of weird to bring up something a number of people already didn't agree with, but whatever. Wasn't my favorite comment in the world anyway. Although...one good thing that could possibly come out of it would be if either First Time Caller or Jarry Canada would Photoshop an image of Mr. Scheer coming out of a Hot Topic in full emo gear chowing down on a large slice of Sbarro's. That would be delightful!

Sure. If you can call that living...

Okay, I'm going to open this up to ALL Marvel movies and TV shows. MCU 1) Thor 2) Ant-man 3) Daredevil 4) Bruce Banner 5) Captain America And, since there aren't enough female characters at the moment to really rank, and I'm not really all that into either of them, I'm just going to go ahead and list my Five Sexiest Marvel Comic Book super-heroines... 1) Captain Marvel 2) She-Hulk 3) Medusa 4) Gamora 5) Echo And since I opened THAT up, here is my list of Sexiest Marvel Super Heroes (regardless of whether or not they have been in the movies) 1) Nova (Richard Rider) 2) Thor 3) Star Lord 4) Iron Fist 5) Black Bolt

He sees the throng of people rushing to throw themselves at his sexy body. And his body language says, "Let's do this."

Taylor Anne, The Cumberbatchians are a wise and benevolent race that only wish to rule us in peace and harmony. We should welcome our new overlords with open arms and just allow their dulcet voices to wash over our unworthy bodies. Mind your tone.

Overruled, Taylor Anne.

This occurred to me last night, and I think it's the last thing I have to say about this movie. Simply question: Why a crab? I tried to Google it last night, but I couldn't find any history of crabs being considered a particularly magical creature or any real mythological basis for why they might be appropriate for a movie about magic food. Nor could I find "crab" on any lists I found about the "sexiest" or "most romantic" foods. I mean, I was able to get there, but the route was so circuitous, and meant jumping so many mental hurdles, that you would think you would finally just go, "You know what? Forget it. This idea is dumb." Film Exec: "We're doing a romantic comedy with magical food. There should be some kind of food that gives her magical powers. Ideas?" Writer: "Well, it's a romantic comedy..."strawberries" appear on almost every list of sexy foods." Film Exec: "Really? There are lists for that? Nevermind. No, I don't think that will work. It should be, like, some kind of animal." Director: "Clams are often considered to be an aphrodisiac. Maybe she gets a bucket full of magical clams..?" Film Exec: "Errr...closer. But we kind of need something with a face. Something that can convey some emotion." Writer: "You mean like a rabbit or a chicken? Maybe she makes veal..." Film Exec: "Are you fucking crazy? This is a family movie! We can't have the audience see her slaughtering livestock in her kitchen! No. It has to be an animal with an expressive face, but not so cute that the audience will care if she cooks it..." (pause) Writer and Director: "Lobster!" Film Exec: "Yes! Lobst--no wait. She's a down on her luck chef whose restaurant is about to close. She wouldn't be able to afford lobster. Hmmm...." Director: "Couldn't her "Guardian Angel" just give them to her?" Film Exec: "Give them to her?! What are you...some kind of fucking commie?" Director: "Sorry..." Writer: "What about crabs? No one gives a fuck about those..." Film Exec: "Perfect." Director: "Great! Fuck those guys!" Writer: "Thanks! Now...Just to circle back a second, are we sure that the guy who gives them to her--sorry--sells them to her is going to be her Guardian Angel? I mean, the movie is about witchcraft, isn't it? I'm not sure if that will play..." Film Exec: "Get the HELL out of my office!!!"

Jesus Christ! What do you want from the guy?

And...a very Happy Birthday to you!

I love the fact that so many of our posts have ended with this observation!

I didn't have so much of a problem with her buying ingredients, but I did have a problem when she idiotically asked, "Where are the portobello mushrooms?" I mean, if she asked, "Do you have any more..." I'd be fine with it, but "Where are the..." bugged me a bit. Where do you think they are? "Sold" would be my guess-- y'know because he actually runs a successful business. Maybe next time, if you care as much about keeping your restaurant open as you proclaim, you won't just drag your hungover ass straight from the club and get to the Farmer's Market a little earlier. I'm just saying 'Happy Birthday' to anyone or anything that wants to claim it

Happy Birthday!

To your first point--you're right, we don't really know her; however, we do know a little bit about her. We know that she's only been on three dates or less with SPF. With that brief of a history, I certainly wouldn't upload my schedule onto another person's whom I've only gone on three dates with--would you? That seems insanely controlling. It doesn't matter how much she might like him, that's really out of bounds in my opinion. We also know, since he tells Patricia Clarkson, one of the reasons he doesn't want to be in a relationship is because he doesn't want to have to explain why he's at the office all the time. Is that controlling? Yes. However, the difference is, he wants the control to do what he wants to do with his life, while she is literally trying to insert herself into his. I know he's and asshole and that SMG, who knows even less about her than we do, shouldn't jump to conclusions about a person she doesn't know, but that doesn't make Peet's character any more likeable or less hypocritical. My point in the last post was she's kind of a piece of shit too. No--SMG shouldn't have made snap judgements regarding Peet's character, but as the audience, we do know that she is shallow, hypocritical (e.g. "No phones!" Next scene, both of them are on phones), and controlling. Just because her boyfriend is an asshat doesn't make her a decent person. If anything, it just shows that they were probably a perfect couple. As for your second point...I could have sworn I heard "customers," but I will happy to withdraw the comment if I'm wrong. However, since I doubt either of us have any intention of ever watching this movie again, we may never know

Just a couple of criticisms on a couple of characters I previously defended. When Amanda Peet gets the truth whammy caste on her and she flips her shit, she accuses Tom of being "too controlling." Now, I'm not trying to say he's not controlling--it is definitely part of the entire douchebag package he's bringing to the table--but she's the one who got into his office uploaded her schedule onto his. I mean, there are plenty of things to hate him for, but accusing him of being "too controlling" might be an arrow she wants to keep in her quiver. Then, after this scene, there's a moment when SMG and sous-chef Nolan are cleaning up the broken plates that Peet had hurled recklessly through the dining room, and Nolan says to her something to the effect of, "I found this piece of shrapnel between two customers." Dude, you only have THREE diners, and they your regulars! Are you telling me that out of your three loyal customers, presumably the only people keeping your two-bit, shit show of a restaurant open for business, you never bothered to learn their names? Damn! I guess the customer service at Southern Cross is just as bad as the cooking. Close that place down!

Here's what I've got... Because SMG does not buy the crabs from the Angel in the Farmer's Market... ...she is not there to step in when Valderon quits on Tom over the knife issue. Without Valderon as chef, and unable to find a suitable replacement in time, the Grand Opening of Johnathan's is a complete disaster. Bendel is forced to go back to his investors and explain how his company lost millions of dollars due to Tom's spendthrift ways. We also come to find out that a significant number of backers of this venture were from international firms. Furthermore, because Bendel does not have a ready supply Amanda's amative eclairs, he does not get involved with Lois, and therefore, does not have the physical and emotional support he needs to compose himself and keep his stress levels low. He takes a meeting with the heads of the international firms to explain the situation...it does not go well. From the beginning, Bendel comes off as combative, unhinged, and thirty minutes into the meeting, he completely loses his shit. What were once terse, acerbic rejoinders suddenly mutate into a torrent of racist and bigoted epithets hurled liberally at his investors--each more vile and despicable than the last. As his hate-speech reaches its crescendo, Bendel has a sudden heart attack in the middle of the conference room. He falls into a wretched and contorted heap upon the fine mahogany table he bought for himself on his last birthday. As his final gasping breath escapes his lips, a sickly rictus grin spreads across his face--he always knew he'd die alone. How right he was. He was always right. The investors, insulted and humiliated, leave America and sue Bendel's company. The resulting court battle is both lengthy and costly. Ultimately, in a bizarre kangaroo court, a judge on the take finds in favor of Bendel's company. Outraged, the investors return to their home countries vowing to pull all of their assets from their American holdings--the negative publicity paints American companies in a foul light. Word begins to spread that American businesses are unreliable and crooked. There are grumblings that some of these countries may demand full remittance from the US government on previous loans. Knowing full well that any such demand would result in bankruptcy, the market becomes unstable and volatile. Finally, on the tenth anniversary of the day Amanda should have bought the crabs at the Farmer's Market, America plunges into the 2nd Great Depression. Shortly afterward, the global economy also becomes consumed in this financial quagmire.. Frantic to rectify the situation, America sends ambassadors around the world in an attempt to repair relations and restore stability. Although America is able to restore some good faith with some of its allies, many others are not so forgiving. The world is divided into two opposing sides. The word "compromise" becomes an anathema and it is quickly purged from the lexicon of diplomacy. Two sides--equally strong, equally weak--fiercely face each other across a gulf of mistrust and burning hatred. Late one night a soldier sits in a bunker by himself, he doesn't know it (indeed, he never will) but a sun flare is wreaking havoc with his radar display. He doesn't know that what he's seeing isn't real. All he knows is that it looks real. Very real. He rubs his eyes. He rubs them again. He can't believe it. This can't be... The Enemy has fired! The Enemy has fired? ... ... ... ... The Enemy has fired. The young soldier takes a deep breath. He follows procedures. He confers with his superiors. They believe what they see. The order stands: press the button. This young soldier, Peter, barely twenty-one, thinks of his girlfriend back home dancing in the amber glow of sunset in her finest yellow sundress, their unborn baby fluttering in her growing belly. He loves them. He loves them both. He loves them both so much. He loves them as much as he hates the Enemy. Tears turn to steel. The blurry red button beneath his palm solidifies and becomes clear. He prays to a God he's never believed in, but nevertheless, hopes will hear him... Gently, he presses down. So...basically, I think we should all be grateful as shit that SMG got those damn crabs!

The fact that you even have to ask should tell you all you need to know...

Welcome to the boards! I'm really liking what you're bringing to the table! Yay! Auden's back!

Here are a couple of issues I had at the end of the movie. Jason mentioned how ridiculous it was that she couldn't hear him shout her name and how the window was open on the cab for the paper airplane, what he didn't bring up was how pointless this scene was anyway. He KNOWS where she lives! He fucked her on the floor of her kitchen! It's not like she's skipping town! Just hop in a cab and go meet her there. Unless the main journey of the movie was actually supposed to be about his making the perfect paper airplane, there was absolutely no reason for that big dramatic moment. And if the big moment in your moment Rom-Com amounts to, "I can fly paper airplanes good!" then, I'm sorry, but you failed at screenwriting. The second moment that was absolutely bonkers was just after the crazy paper airplane scene. She goes back into the store and sees a mannequin with the note "Wear me" on it (Barf). So she puts on this dress and meets him, and wonder of wonders, her hair is all done up in an elaborate bun and her makeup is perfect! Excuse me, I thought she was working all night? As anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant kitchen will tell you, after a couple of hours, you are just a sweaty, greasy mess. I mean, I get the dress. That's fine--easy to do, but who the fuck did her hair and makeup? Was it the crab? I bet it was the crab...

To address something they brought up in the episode, not only was it bold that she demands expensive plates from his place of employment, but she does so after wrecking an entire display of cologne at his store! There is no way that her cheap “mismatched” plates cost anywhere near the merchandise he might be selling at his store, and once she destroys that display, there is nothing to stop him from saying, “Not only do I think we’re now even, I think you may actually owe me some money…”

God. There's so much. I feel like I'm still a little unclear as to the power and magic of the food. It's like the movie wants us to believe that the food transfers her emotions on to the eater, but this doesn't always seem to be the case. When Tom and his girlfriend show up at her restaurant, she is immediately in a anxious and jealous mood, but when they eat their food, he gets so aroused he literally cums in his pants and his girlfriend becomes destructive and obnoxious. Where did those emotions come from? It's almost like the food is heightening their own emotions rather than reflecting hers. Then, at the end of the movie, when she's so upset with the whole Tom situation that cries into the sauce a little, everyone gets afflicted with this weird romantic sadness--and they are all into it! Why are they all so happy to be heartbroken and grief-stricken? Then, for the second course, they all just sit in stoney silence. That was creepy as Hell. Is SMG some kind of crazy sociopath that can just turn off her emotions? Oi! If I'm ever in a position where I'm being fed emotions by magically infused food, I seriously hope that SMG is not the chef that night. That girl seems extremely unstable.