BertramCooper

This debuted on HBO this weekend, and it is next-level bonkers. Kinda falls into that Adore category in that it looks amazing on-paper, but is just a total fucking hilarious mess. It's the Fatal Attraction/Misery/Terminator mashup you've always wanted without realizing it. I can't stress enough how badly this deranged movie needs to be on the show.

Looks like it's trying its best to get down to a fantastic 4% on RT. (It's currently at 8%.) For comparison, even the miserable Green Lantern managed a 26% on RT. Any chance we get an ep on this turd while it's still in theaters? Might give me an incentive to actually see it.

Very nice of the white folk to pair off the two Indian characters at the very end. They were clearly meant for each other simply because they're both Indian. So cute! I'm kinda stunned that Andrea Martin's bizarre wedding announcement that she is pregnant - which read to me as sincere and not a gag - didn't get mentioned in this ep. I mean, holy crap. So glad that after all we've been through these past couple years, we can once again find humor in police officers committing sexual assault. Turns out those P.C. snowflakes didn't ruin it for us after all! What a relief. (Just imagine how that scene would have read had the genders of the two characters been reversed.)

Okay, something that jumped out RIGHT away: In that opening musical number, the lyric "children of darkness" is paired with a shot of Magick, who is obviously a small black child. I'd be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and write it off as an oblivious editing choice, but the cuts to and from the shot of Magick are so precisely paired with that lyric that it definitely raised my eyebrows. See for yourself (it's between the 35 and 40 second marks right at the beginning): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdvRr5lIUGA&t=0m35s

There are several great Earwolf regulars who do great little boy voices (almost uniformly women), but Fran Gillespie's is by far my favorite.

My favorite part of this awesome, hilarious podcast is when Zach messes up a detail of the narrative (like saying Monterey when the setting has shifted to Seattle) or states something factually incorrect (like Chipotle having an "assortment of cheese"), and Jess feels obligated to correct him. I think it's happened at least once in each ep so far and it's hysterical every time. Also I'm crushing hard on Zach. He's adorable.

One of those rare episodes where the featured guest seems perplexed by the show's shtick, and the resulting awkwardness is palpable. And you're not sure if the guest DOES get it and is just doing a bit, or if it's genuine bewilderment.

I just finished the film and haven't listened to the ep yet, but I gotta say, I had a fucking blast watching this movie. Had had a grin on my face from beginning to end. The no-holds-barred incest, the INSANE dialogue, the terrible special effects, Mädchen Amick's squeaky voice, the goddamn cats - I just could barely breathe. Just bonkers from beginning to end. Bad Stephen King films REALLY deliver. Goddamn.

FYI: This just got added to Amazon Prime Video today. Perfect time to do it, Paul!

I wish the show went after bad Oscar bait a bit more. So I'd choose either the borderline unwatchable Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, or the Lisa Frank nightmare that is The Lovely Bones. Both films are horrendous and I think both would make for good HDTGM eps.

Is Maxwell Caulfield in Grease 2 the most extreme example of a totally non-ugly ugly duckling in film history? They don't even try to make him look non-stunningly handsome. I mean, at least Rachael Lee Cook got glasses. Also, I remember going to a bowling alley as a teenager and one of my friends stupidly started walking down one of the lanes. The manager about lost his fucking shit and came out and started screaming at him. So I got a kick out of the bowling alley dance routine.

It was a completely minor and tangential detail that I casually mentioned in a post that otherwise had nothing to do with that specific fact. It's not like I mentioned it with the intention of taking credit for being the first one to point it out. Again, not a contest. And hardly me "throwing a fit."

Seriously? This isn't a contest. Apologies for not reviewing six full pages of posts beforehand.

So the gal who played Louise (who is Blake Lively's half-sister, apparently) was like 16-17 when this was filmed, which seems about right. She seemed SUPER young by teen movie standards. I'm used to people pushing 30 playing teenagers in movies and TV shows. The dude who played Brad was like 26-27. That's...not appropriate. Especially given that "kissing" scene.

Well, I meant "sexy" by 1989 standards, ha ha.

Louise totally cheated at the end. Sorry, hon, but if you're trying to test out whether he really loves you WITHOUT the popularity spell (I love that Serena had an actual spell for that), you also have to give back the sexy clothes and hair and makeup that came along with it. Somehow I doubt a dude as superficial as Brad will still like her if she goes back to dressing like a Mennonite.

The movie seems to constantly second-guess how far it wants to take the sexual stuff. Like, when he takes her to his Fuck Shack, and they start going at it, I was like, "Wow, they're really going there, huh?" But nope. They just "kissed."

I would not be surprised to discover that the director of this movie exclusively made premium cable softcore porn before directing this film.

I watched this just a few hours after seeing The Witch. Same movie, basically.

This movie finally inspired me to watch that Cannon Films documentary. Which erased any lingering fear I might have had that this podcast would run out of films to do.

It's funny that Paul said that Boogalow reminded him of a Bond villain - because the actor WAS a Bond villain. http://jamesbond.wikia.com/wiki/Kronsteen And a GREAT Bond villain, actually. In the best Bond film ever.

Oh man, I was so bummed to discover that Mr. Boogalow was Kronsteen in From Russia With Love.

I kind of go back-and-forth on whether HDTGM should do a few of the really bad Christian films that have come out the past few years. On one hand, I understand why they haven't, both because they're low-hanging fruit and because uber-religious people can get so obnoxious and blow things like a silly podcast episode completely out of proportion. But at the same time, you have shit like God's Not Dead, which is so fucking crazy that it would probably make for an absolutely awesome episode.

Ladyhawke is worth doing solely for its .

I can't wait to hear June's thoughts on Amy Madigan's hair. And speaking of hair, was it just me, or was the length of Tom Cody's facial hair wildly inconsistent?