Spunky Foonerism

The avid forumers are, for the most part, completists who like to stay on top of everything that's happening. So if you have anything to say and want everyone to see it without being annoyed at you for making them look in more than one place, you should post it into the most recent episode's thread. That's where ALL the action is. PS If you have something cool and funny to say, don't say it right this second because the new episode thread is going up in just a couple minutes and you should put it there.

Three is old enough to find their own comedic voice.

The word is pronounced "kuh-oo-way-oo-way," so none of your puns make sense. Dummies.

Hey did you all know there is going to be a comedy bang bang TV show? I'm not sure if it'll be the same guys doing it, but if so then maybe Hayes and Sean can be on it someday. Then we can finally learn what they look like on television.

Congrats on a cool hundo, Pepper! It's all downhill from here*. *That's an old bobsledders' saying, for when they are excited about what the future holds.

I have so many t-shirts. Maybe could we get a nice cardigan or something? Maybe a nightshirt? I was pretty psyched at the idea of "HH" temporary tattoos, except that is apparently a neo-nazi thing. Now I'm ambivalent about the idea.

Just hush up the injury and trade him to the Mets or something.

That's really nice, thehotdogwhisperer. Are you working from an actual fly specimen? I like it a lot! Mine is a photoshop composite of some sketches of a real specimen from under a microscope, as well as from high-res photos. It's pretty much impossible for me to get a single specimen or photo that is posed exactly right for a drawing, or that has all the bits in focus.

Thanks y'all, you're very nice. I'm trying to get back into doing more art, because it is something that makes me happy (so why wouldn't I do it all the time, right? well, because i'm a weirdo and have psychological problems.) Anyway, I'm trying to get back into it. Also, I'm thinking that if I can build up enough stuff, i can start selling it. New Orleans is great for having local art markets. Also I've heard that more and more people are finding success at selling stuff on the internet. We truly are living in the future, my friends! Please, everyone share the cool stuff that you do, even if its something dumb like singing songs. (Bear, just kidding. Your stuff is pretty good. People seem to like it, anyway.) Do a video of a little dance that you do. Or of you falling down the stairs. Or show us an awesome taco salad you know how to make. Show us how you can blow a bubble inside another bubble...with your butt! Seriously. Somebody learn how to do it, and post it here for at least one guaranteed like! Show us the fully automatic cybertronic fuckdoll you are building in your attic*. Whatever it is, its fun to see other people's secret projects and hidden talents, and it would be a nice break from the dumb bullshit you usually post. Hahahahaha...NOT KIDDING! *If it has Dixon's face on it, you need to blur that shit out. Replace it with a picture of a pencil or something. Got to respect the man's privacy, for crying out loud!

Here's a drawing I've been working on, its an illustration of one of my favorite insects. In real life it is less than a centimeter long, and it is predatory on cockroach egg cases. It's called an "ensign wasp" after the semaphore guys on ships, because it waves its abdomen up and down like a signal flag. Also, it doesn't sting so don't be afraid. Also it isn't done, I haven't finished the legs or the antennae. Also, it looks better at something closer to full size, which you can see here.

Mwn! With gems like this one, you are single-handedly keeping me interested in this conversation. The hope that you will delight me again is what gets me through a stretch of 20 straight posts about New England bullshit. Go pound Plymouth Rock you baked bean eaters!

I'm participating you just can't see me because I'm so far in the lead! I have 4 younger brothers and 4 younger sisters IRL so you know I'm a champion big bro. I can teach you how to smoke a cigarette (hang on just got to find some youtube videos first), or drive a stick shift. I can buy you some beer or whatever and be cool about it and not narc you out. I can beat up the guy who was mean to you and made you cry (or say that I'm going to which is pretty much the same and not as much hassle for anyone). I can also be mean and shitty to you, if that's the kind of big bro you are looking for. I can throw crab apples at you while you are playing in the yard with your school friends, or hold things up out of your reach and make fun of you jumping up and down. My big bro game is impeccable. If you want a little bro though, I'm out. I'm not 'bout dat life. Talk to monsterface, he might be able to help you out. Edit: Thought about doing a double post to brag about New Orleans sandwiches but then I thought, no, people hate reading two medium posts in a row, but they LOVE to read a super long post about multiple topics. Anyway, ever hear of a little something called a "Po'boy" or a "mufaletta?" That's just two of the kinds of sandwiches here. What's that, you don't want to look them up on your own? Well I'll help you out. Po'boy. Mufaletta. In case you need more remedial help: sandwich.

What's next, boiled pizza? Getouttahere.

Oh shit man, you know I want to. I'm just worried because I haven't really talked to Valerie since that rainbow party on Chanson's dad's boat. She's so cool and I like her so much, but I just think it might get weird after what happened. (Don't tell her I said this but it was super funny how she lost to Bruce!) I guess I gotta man up and go. I have to anyway, I signed up to bring the paper napkins.

I love fruits and all of them are good. Ruby red grapefruits, blueberries, so good. Limes, man everything is better with limes. Drinks, foods, you name it. I could write you a thesis about how good a paw-paw is. It's one of the best natural sources of potassium and it is also one of the only native north american fruits. Trouble is, it's fly-pollinated and so it is hard to have industrial farm scale production of pawpaws because flies are very inefficient pollinators. Pineapple? Funny you should ask. Yes, it DOES make my semen taste delicious. But the best fruit of all, which you will never get to try unless you live on the Gulf Coast, or in Japan or New Zealand, is the god-damned satsuma. Satsumas are the best thing about living in Louisiana, and this is coming from someone who loves alligators, mosquitoes and corruption. I'm going to take a break now, but don't be surprised if I come back at you with more strong opinions about fruits. Whoever asked this question, good job! Edit: No, you are the one who's been drinkgng too much. Also it's my birthday go fuck yourself.

I am a good-natured dude who thinks kindly of everyone until I have reason to do otherwise. Well, Jakal just did otherwise. He is on notice that the ice just got REAL thin. He's in danger of falling through it. Into some water that...heheh lets just say its....aaah NOT warm. It's cold water. Under the ice. That he might just fall through if he isn't REAL careful. I don't know if they have a lot of experience with the dangers of going out on the ice where he's from, but let me be the first to warn him that it's REAL dangerous. It's also dangerous for anyone who tries to save him, because after the ice is cracked, the surrounding ice becomes much more fragile. So if you're hanging out with Jakal when he falls through the ice, do NOT try to go out on it to rescue him. Either find something like a rope or a branch to throw to him, or call for a rescue professional. Or just shed a single tear as you watch him drown - helpless to do anything to prevent it. Who cares, that motherfucker is dead to me already. i hope that clears things up for you.

Jakal, you used to be on thick ice with me. Now? Thin ice.

You want me to be real, I'll be real. I'll drop some real knowledge on you about the real way to speak English. The reality is that several people have misused the word "jealous" on this week's forum, conflating it with the word "envious." Read a dictionary some time you illiterate fucks! Here's a real tip for you, start with the chapters on words beginning with E and J. Also, I really am a pedantic dickhead. I dedicate this post to the memory of my homeboy. #RIPChanson Edit: Update, apparently Chanson is not dead. As you were.

Let me guess, they said to just pour the brownie mix and the soda right into your mouth. That is a cruel joke by someone who is trying to trick you into exploding yourself, and I hope I stopped you in time. Food ingredients are NOT A TOY! The recipe on that box was developed by scientists, and you should follow it carefully for your own safety.

Big Daddy Krang made me laugh.

I'm going to start telling potential fans of HH, "Start with episode 1...of some other podcast! Stay the fuck away! This show already has enough fans, get out of here!" Then I'll move to phase two, in which I drive you all out of here too. Phase three will just be me and Sean and Hayes. Edit: You did it Steve! Good work. If you'll take one note from me though, the photo makes it look like you want to stick your thumb up some poor woman's butt. For your next joke, it would be less misogynistic to use one of your smaller fingers.

My women should be 93 degrees because I like them the same way I like my angles... ...slightly obtuse.

I introduced my D to "I like my coffee like I like my women" jokes, and his very first attempt at it is still my all-time favorite. I like my coffee like I like my women... ...with big tits and daddy issues.

I take my coffee like I take my women... ...every morning. ...while I'm driving. ...in the butt. ...delicately and only after asking permission.

I won't put up with any badmouthing of New Jersey in here! NJ is beautiful and idyllic in the huge swaths away from I-95, where there aren't any people. It is also one of the most heavily forested states, largely because of the Pine Barrens. The state is also at a latitude where there is overlap between the southernmost range of many northern plant and insect species, and the northernmost range of southern species, creating a very unique ecology. People from New Jersey are the fucking worst though. I hate them.