Spunky Foonerism

Four score and 91 episodes is 171 episodes. Your maths are way off on this. Don't be discouraged though, I bet the rest of what you said is good. (I didn't read it.)

For some reason I really like this guy. Seems normal. Sincere. I think he'll fit in here, no problem! Also, you know all the bad feelings I have about Chanson and how bad he is? I don't have ANY of those feelings toward Mike Bonetti. Edit: Clarification, Chanson is great, and I don't have any very many bad feelings about him. Razzing on Chanson is a bit, and it's important to remember that he's a real, sensitive human being.

OK, I'm totally going to recommend this one to all my friends who have been reluctant to try HH. I don't listen to the show, but from the way you all are raving about this episode, I'm confident they'll love it.

Red wound at morning, sailor take warning. Red wound at night, sailor's delight.

I like riddles! Ummmm....stop taking your antibiotics and see if it gets way worse. No, wait, I've got another one! Rub bacteria on it, and if it doesn't get any worse then it was already infected. Ok, I give up Ran. How CAN u tell if a wound is infected?

In the Yo is This Racist forum, probably. Just kidding, I'm hazing you! You took it like a champ, now you are one of us.

Hooray SillyLilly! I just showed my wife and she loves it and wants to print it out and put it on the refrigerator.

Who gives a single shit about America, when it is HURRICANE DENNIS' BIRFDAY!!!!

If it works out, I can see how it will be a real time-saver!

Let's go back to talking about Bozos's great post. It's extra funny because it's so true.

I also chose #3, but because of his personality not his looks. edit: steve, don't feel bad it just means that you and I are American men and it makes sense we have different criteria for male gorilla hotness than Japanese women do.

Back up in Maryland where I used to be from, there were signs that said "Speed Hump." I always thought it should say "Speed Hump like your children live here!"

They're clearly hoping to get "Colted," and recreate the historic moment that catapulted Shaq to superstardom. First of all, you can't force it to happen. Second of all, good luck finding a young Colt Barton-type at Waffle House, fellas. (Yeah, right!) P.S. A joke isn't over until I say its over.

So Mr. Barton, you say that your son was just excited to see the owls at Hooters? Yeah. So I had to take him. I tried to explain to him what the restaurant was really about, but he was just a kid ya' know? He saw the logo and the name and he couldn't believe that it was really about guys paying a premium to be near big-tittied ladies who would briefly pretend to be friends with them. That kind of thing isn't going to make sense to a kid. So I took him. But that only explains part of the legendary story. How did he meet up with Shaq for the photo "heard round the world?" Yeah, right. Well the weird thing is that Shaq was there for the exact same reason as Colt. He just wanted to see some owls. Their bond was instantaneous. They actually remained friends for several years, until Colt hit puberty and lost interest in ornithology.

I once almost spilled coffee on the Lt Governor of Louisiana, who is now the mayor of New Orleans. He'd never have won the election for mayor with coffee stains all over him, so I almost changed history*. I saw Chris Paul a whole bunch of times at basketball games. I saw Ani DiFranco at a Ghanaian restaurant. *How do I know? Because I spilled the coffee on myself instead of him, and I went on to NOT be elected mayor of New Orleans.

Now I'm thinking of changing MY name, to B-Bear. This would have a number of hilarious consequences. First, it would shift the meaning of your name, A Bear, to "first bear" as though we were both in an ordered list of forum bears. Hilarious! Second, people would laugh their dicks off at the hilarious double meaning of B-Bear because I would find a funny pic of a bear in a b-boy outfit to use as my new 'tar. Oh man this is such a good idea I'm freaking out! Edit: sorry, "people would laugh their dicks *or titties* off." Don't be so sensitive ladies, I didn't mean to exclude you from my joke.

If we could choose anyone? Probably John Wilkins, inventor of the metric system. Or maybe Moses Horwitz, better known as Moe Howard of the 3 Stooges.

What did you say?

Steve, as a big pharma overlord, I only hope that you can do something to make boner pills cheaper and more easily available for all the poor guys out there who need them. Not me, obviously, but I know a lot of people who can't afford boner pills, or who can't deal with the 7-day waiting period. For me? I hope you can speed production on the long-rumored boner reducing pill. I don't have high hopes though, because they don't like to sink R&D money into a drug that is needed by so few people.

Ehhh, wrong. I'm p sure I got a like for the picture of Ross wearing the Dennis hat. Edit: Now I'm thinking you're just talking about this thread, not the entire history of the forum, in which case you are "Ehh correct!"

Well it may seem a little odd to us at first, but it won't be long before your new name becomes the norm. HAHAHA!

Who made you? Your name wasn't ever a problem, nobody was mad at YOUR name! ...so is Norm your real name?

Steve that is the cutest thing that ever happened. Even a hardened gangster like the legendary Menthol Tigershark reverts to the joyful innocence of a wee child when he meets a puppy for the first time. There is hope for us all. PS these two pictures together looks like a colossal dog is watching your son play with a tiny puppy. Hilarious!

Right, some of the new folks might not know this but each time a new forum starts there is actually a new podcast episode that goes with it! I've listened to several of them and they are certainly sufficient for killing an hour or so while you wait for new pet photos to get posted.

In the interest of getting more cute pet photos from all you new people, I'm going to magnanimously let you in on the trick to posting images here. (None of these dicks ever showed ME how to do it, I had to reverse engineer the technique from one of Dixon's posts.) It is easy to link to an image that is already on the internet, whereas directly uploading an image to earwolf is a pain and only gives thumbnails like what just happened to you. Set up a free account on imgur.com (or facebook or wherever else), and upload your photos to that. The advantage of imgur is that you can still be anonymous on here without giving the weird forum stalkers a way to see your facebook page. Then hit the image button in the comment composer control panel thing and paste the url of your image into it. PS what kind of animal is that first one? Is it a very fat mouse, or is it a chinchilla or a marmot or what? I'm a fan of it, in any case.