Spunky Foonerism

Have you ever been lied to by a hockeypuck?

First you have to glue reflective dots all over your black bodysuit, then you have to put on your binocular rift goggles. Then get into your car and meet everybody over at bozos house and he'll fire up the hangout ap.

Hayes and Sean should add a subdivision to their game company. ComicBooksVideoGames:Sports.

Dennis says he wouldn't mind getting into the garbage can. One time there was shrimps in there.

Is it just me or did this forum just get taken over by a bunch of sports-heads? Shouldn't they be out pumping gas or something? Go iron your varsity jackets, sports-heads!

I gave you a like, but if I find out that you make one of your cats live in the trashcan, I will take it back so fast! PS Nice one, but that was ecret-say advice-gay for newbies-day.

He used to be a little clumsy, but now he's a lot clumsy.

It's never too early to start growing your fur out. Also, make sure to pointedly ignore everyone around you 95% of the time.

Oh, please don't do that! Sean and Hayes, do what Valerie says and have Karl Bosworth on the show, right away. This is number one on the list, so I assume she'll be doing it first, and it will have catastrophic consequences if she goes through with it. I don't want to cause needless panic, but I want everyone to be aware of what could ensue: first of all, since his skin is absolutely milk-white, he could get a nasty sunburn; second, it could very well make Dennis feel both shy and grouchy. I'm ashamed to tell it, but back when I was young and full of wild ideas I had a groomer shave Hurricane Dennis in preparation for summertimes and it was weird and bad for everybody. Also, since I didn't give a weekly H.D. update last week, here is a bonus photo of Dennis in cosplay as X-man. This photo is from a long, long time ago, so you know he's been a comics-book nerd since back in the day. And finally, even though nobody ever asks to see a picture of him, here is a picture of my other good handsome dog Ross, taking a boat ride on his second birthday. Psst, newbies, this is some secret advice for you.

Gross.

If you're worried about Engineer Uncle Cody Boy getting you through the wires you should do what the rest of us do and listen wirelessly. Duh. Here's what you do if you think he is already in your wires. Pull out all the wires right away, and put them -- this is important -- in a large GLASS jar.

In my professional life I am well known to be inarticulate and humorless. If I made these thoughtful and hilarious posts under my real name it would destroy the real-life persona I've worked so hard to establish.

If Sean has best boy grip, you can guess what he's invited to... ...circle jerk. You know, from last time?

Just google "Bing," it should pop right up!

Todd meets HR Giger's ghost and Jesse Ventura for some counseling on what it is to be a real man. Edit: plus Andy Daly doing whatever he wants.

Sure, it's because of the talent in the picture that you've gone blind. Its just a crazy coincidence that you were furiously masturbating while you looked at it.

Degenerate circlejerk is a very good description of someone so pathetic that they have to jerk their own self off. Get a friend, loser! Join the boyscouts or something! Also, I think the notation should look like this (because my emotional development stopped in 7th grade): A_1 -> {A_1} -> 8==D~~~

Hmm. I think it would be both more fun and more difficult. I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it, since I'm not ambidextrous. (I can pat my head and rub my tummy for a short while but I pretty quickly devolve into patting both. So that doesn't bode well.)

What is a vector, if not a very small circle? I think Euclid said that, and he should know! I'm pretty sure I read that he invented the circle-jerk.

Sorry, just me and Bruce.

Well, obviously NOBODY is going to have a complaint about sitting next to the ambidextrous guy.

Yeah, but in a right-hand dominated circle-j, everyone would reach to their right, and your skilled left hand would be going to waste! I guess you could sit facing the outside of the circle.

I seem to recall that Hayes is not part of the "UCB circle-jerk." I think that if he stops being a priss and gives Matt Besser that handie he's been angling for, Hayes might start getting invited to appear on some more pods. Edit: this made me think of a joke. "Man, why do I always get stuck next to the left-handed guy?"

Yikes, I didn't think about that! I need to hit up LegalZoom, pronto, and get some dog-swap-blocking paperwork underway. Speaking of LegalZoom, are they a law firm? Or do they just provide legal guidance at my specific direction?

I, for one, greatly enjoyed the new feature "Name as many French actors as you can, with repeats allowed and no fact-checking." I hope it returns.