Spunky Foonerism

I have done something similar, it was horrifying. But in a way, isn't it reassuring to know that you actually do have bones in there?

I agree with Chanson, on a scale from 1/10 to 8/10, I'd give this week's forum a 7/10.

Yeah, don't be the kind of loser who doesn't give in to bullying! You have to recognize that you are being bullied for a REASON. I suggest you change your name to Official Hollywood Handbook Account.

I'm feeling lucky today, so I'm going to go ahead and take a guess at who their guest is going to be. Dear Roman Polanski, Would you rather have a bottle in front of me, or a frontal lobotomy?

Just a heads up, if you want to hang with the handsome boy, don't even think about skipping leg day!

I don't really mind that new people are showing off their pets to reap mad likes, but I would like some reassurance that I'm not going to get fewer likes because they are flooding the market. This is my wife's dog Jackson who died last year, so if you don't like this post you are a heartless monster and you need to take a long look at yourself.

There's a whole special section of the internet dedicated to all things Chanson, and you should confine your discussion of him to their forums. It's called 4-chan, which is a very smart joke because it is basically a "for"um "for" talking about "Chan"son. So you should go there.

The "apparently" kid. Edit: Also, Rhys Darby.

You know how sometimes it is a great time to have good ideas while I am doing the dishes? Well that happened to me today. I was just doing some dishes, like a boss, thinking about the new faucet I just installed (also like a boss) and it hit me. My battle-rap nickname is going to be "Flow Regulator." How great is that?! I'm not sure if I will focus all my raps on water conservation, or if that would be too limiting. I mean, MF Doom can make a whole album about food, so how hard could it be to make an entire career out of one social issue? Anyway, my secret battle rap move is that when my foe is rhyming too fast, I reach out and pinch his lips shut.

You should have nibbled on it and said, "Are you sure, because it doesn't taste like a bull dick." That would have freaked her whole bean off. Yes! As much as any bird can be considered "real." Also, I've heard it from a reliable source that coyotes are actually quite wily.

Some of the recent ones have been pretty great - notably Thomas Middleditch and Nicole Byer. Ultimately, you're going to be listening to all of them, so you may as well just start going in order from number 1. Or going backwards from the latest one. Or spiralling out from the middle. My point is that you should be systematic, so that you can avoid accidentally listening to the same episode twice.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that... HAYOOOOO!!!! (its called a double-ontahnder, look it up.)

Careful new forumers, Chanson is clearly trying to marry you!

Congrats on your rapid adaptation and survival in the harsh world of the HH forum, and your 100th. For your next hundred, let the following thought problem guide your posting: Am I a butterfly dreaming I am a man who is pretending to be a bear, or am I some sort of hybrid butterfly-bearman dreaming that I am wearing a hat and glasses?

If you can find a nice stick insect, try taking a selfie with it. That went over way better than the giant beetle on the face, in case you were thinking of trying that approach.

Jacob, you had your chance to have a forum nickname, and you went the real name route. I say it is an unclaimed nickname and rule for the new guy. I'd feel a lot better about it if it was a new girl. Or a guy with cat.

I thought of that, but who wants to walk around barefoot all the time?

I'm right there with you, bear. The conundrum is choosing among divorce, fake death & run away, or murder-suicide. If there's some fourth option that I haven't considered, I'm open to suggestions. Edit: I've come up with a fourth option which has a number of advantages over the other three. I can just try to avoid situations that require counting to five, six, seven or eight for the rest of our lives. Seems like a LOT of work though.

I just had a very disturbing conversation with someone (whom, until now, I trusted and thought that I knew well), in which she counted to 8 on her fingers, skipping her thumbs! As in, one two three four, switch hands, five six seven eight. What kind of twisted monster counts all fingers no thumbs!? I should add that she does have perfectly serviceable thumbs, so there's no physiological excuse.

Are you sure it's really for you? He didn't even put your name on the card! Have you been dieting or binging recently? If so maybe he is subtly congratulating you on getting up/down to your target of 120 lbs by the end of Lent.

I see the same ones and I also see monsterface (i think) and brgrho.

It's a classic photography trick - a carefully placed stick insect will draw the eye up and away from the face. edit: Also, thank you, that's very nice of you to say. edit: I just finished listening to the ep. You are all so brave to be calling in and talking to Hayes and Sean, I'm still way too self-conscious to try it. Bravery is half the battle, the other half is being funny. So you're halfway there! Just kidding, you don't have to be funny, Sean and Hayes are funny. Also, you ARE funny. Everyone did a great job asking questions about movies, just politely listening while they talked, or even being berated! It was entertaining good stuff and I like hearing all of your weird voices. Just kidding again, I'm the one with a weird shameful voice, you all sound like angels. (Hell's Angels. Just kidding.)

Oh man, I listen to Bobby Hebert on the radio all the time! He knows so much about football, but he says it in such a folksy way that it is really fun to listen to. Also, he's FROM here!

Look, I'm sure that everybody on here has done Twelfth Night at some point in the past year, but if we all posted photos of it there would be no room in the forum for discussing the damn podcast! Think about the situation and show a little restraint. Fuck. Anyway, here's Dennis wearing a sweet truckers' hat. And here's the biggest stick insect I ever caught, it was on my birthday. Here's Ross when he was young and handsome. And here's Ross giving me a kissy.